Thursday, February 27, 2003

My life, has officially ended. The UPN people have just announced that Buffy will not return for an 8th season. This is the last season. What am I going to do? Here’s an article that E! Online just published.

"Buffy" Laid to Rest
Feb 27, 2003, 11:45 AM PT
The demons of Sunnydale don't have Buffy the Vampire Slayer to kick around anymore.
UPN has officially announced the cancellation of the series, as star Sarah Michelle Gellar leaves to concentrate on her big-screen career.
Earlier this week, it was announced that Gellar was close to signing on to the feature film Romantic Comedy. Production on the lovestruck spoof starts in August, ostensibly when Buffy would start filming on its eighth season. The casting news put a stake through Gellar's return to the UPN series.
Then word leaked of Gellar's come-clean interview in Entertainment Weekly's March 7 issue. "Buffy, in this incarnation, is over," said the actress, whose contract expires at the end of this season.
Finally on Thursday, 20th Century Fox Television and UPN confirmed what insiders already knew, production on the series would end this April after seven seasons and 144 shows.
The series finale will air May 20. While Eliza Dushku and Alyson Hannigan are both making crossover appearance on Angel and Buffy, this season there's no word if the titular lovers seperated by destiny, several hundred years and network rivals will finally reunite for the last episode.
"It's hard to believe it's over," said creator Joss Whedon in a written statement released through UPN Thursday. "Well, it's hard to think at all, or stand, or form vowel sounds, so maybe it's time to take a break. I'm just glad I can say we did our best on every single episode. We didn't always succeed, but we never slacked, and I'm immensely proud of my writers, actors and crew for that.
"And I'm proud of what this show means...I truly believe that in years to come, people will look back and say 'that was a show that was on TV.' Yessir. I truly do," said Whedon, who received an Emmy nomination for the creepy classic episode "Hush."
The eulogies were echoed by execs at 20th Century Fox and UPN. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer will go down in history as one of television's best shows and an enduring testament to the vision and genius of its creator Joss Whedon," said 20th Century Fox Television prez Dana Walden. "For seven years, Joss, his team of writers led by Marti Noxon and an extraordinary cast led by Sarah Michelle Gellar captured the cultural zeitgeist and effortlessly combined drama, action and humor. Without question, Buffy will live on for generations to come."
"We have been very fortunate to be the home to such a landmark series, always brilliantly written and acted," chimed in Dawn Ostroff UPN's entertainment boss. "I'd like to send a special thanks to the remarkably talented actors, producers, writers and crew who worked tirelessly through the years."
Gellar won the role of the Chosen One back in 1997 when Buffy the Vampire Slayer was nothing more than a punchline, based on the box-office bomb starring Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry (how bummed are they not to have signed on for the series?).
Prior to Buffy, Gellar was best known for her sudsy role as Kendall Hart, daughter of scheming Erica Kane (Susan Lucci) on All My Children, for which she won a Daytime Emmy.
Despite its dedicated fan base, Buffy would never win the thespian an Emmy (or even a nomination, though she was nominated for a Best Actress Golden Globe), but during her seven-season tenure Gellar managed to add multiple credits to her résumé. While pulling double duty as wisecracking schoolgirl and vampire slayer, Gellar also moonlighted during her hiatus in movies like Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Cruel Intentions, Simply Irresistible and Scooby-Doo.
Gellar's break-neck schedule won't slow down, with the actress slated to begin production on Scooby-Doo Too with husband Freddie Prinze Jr. as soon as Buffy wraps. Warner Bros. is eyeing a summer 2004 release for the sequel with a script already in the works for the third installment of the franchise.
Rumors of Gellar's departure began lurking on the Internet last summer, when news that Buffy's sister Dawn (Michelle Trachtenberg) would have a larger role in the seventh season, prompting speculation that the demon-battling heroine would pass the stake on to her little sis.
Most recently, Dushku's name was put forward as a possible slayer sub for a potential spinoff series. Dushku joined the Scooby gang in the third season as rogue Slayer Faith, but an alliance with the dark side put an end to her time in Sunnydale.
Ultimately, the Hellmouth could go unprotected since a rep for the actress just confirmed she's inked a pilot deal with Fox for an untitled project from writer John Feldman, which would see Dushku as a morgue employee who talks to the dead instead of staking them. The corpses tell Dushku's character how they were murdered and every morning she relives the same day, hoping to set things right.
In addition, Buffy's executive producer Noxon has already been tapped for a new one-hour drama next season, leaving the fate of Sunnydale uncertain.
Still producers maintain the possibility that the slayer mythology lives on. According to the statement from 20th Century Fox and UPN: "Discussions regarding the future of the Buffy franchise and a possible spinoff are ongoing."








Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I’ve never had this before. There are two great people who are both interested in me and I don’t know what to do. One of them I like for all the right reasons. They’re smart, caring, considerate, artistic, and they know me like the back of their hand. The other person is the same but I kind of just met them so it’s new. I don’t know what to do. I asked Ryan and he said that I should date both, I can’t do that. That would just break me up inside; I can’t lie to people like that. Especially when it comes to something like this. It’s so over whelming at times, to think that people actually like me. They are interested in me and my ideas and what I have to say. My brain can’t wrap it self around that concept. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time. I just want to be honest with everyone and make the right decision. Let’s see, were planning more stuff in Student Council and more stuff. Oh yeah, I think I’m going to go ahead with my plans of starting a Gay/Straight Alliance at my school. I think it might work out, I don’t know. I hope it does. Well I guess that’s it for now.

Monday, February 24, 2003

Let’s, here's what has happened the past week. I got sick, which sucked. I’ve only been sick once this year, well now I can make that two times. Not much has happened. Well I had a long conversation with Michael yesterday about things. He is really good at reading me. But we talked about the future of us, well if there is one. I’ve always thought that I would just be alone for the rest of my life, but now all of a sudden there are two great people who are in my life and they actually like me for me I don’t know what the outcome will be. Time will only tell. I’m just going to go with the person who I feel most comfortable with. I don’t know, I guess we’ll see what’s going to happen.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Ok, yes I am a little disappointed. I was supposed to meet Michael this Monday at Lenox mall and were just going to hang out and talk, but it looks like it’s not going to happen. His friend got sick so he said he wouldn’t be able to come. I was ok but I feel a little bad now. I’ve grown a fond of him over the last couple of weeks so I was looking forward to hanging out with him, being in his presence. Sometimes it just seems as if nothing ever works out for me. But any who, when we were talking the other day he was talking about how he’s attracted more to my personality. That was cute, but then another time he said that when he first saw me he wasn’t attracted to me at all, but then when we got to know me he was attracted to my personality. I don’t mind him saying that, it just stings a little. It doesn’t really boost up my self-confidence. I really like Michael, but then there’s this other person, Owen who seems like a nice person. I haven’t really gotten to talk to him much but from when I have gotten to talk to him he seems like a cool person. I’m so stupid, I was just laughing at myself because I think it’s cool I can finally type with out looking at the keyboard. I can look straight at the screen, expect for when I get to a word I can’t spell, for some reason I look down at the keyboard like it’s going to help me. Well I guess that’s it for now. Oh yeah, I don’t have the internet right now—long story—so I have to write my blogs at home, then bring them to school and upload them to the site; that’s why my postings have been a bit irregular, but hopefully I will be back on the net, until then….. =)

Monday, February 10, 2003

It hurts like hell. That’s the one of the messages I got from watching “Waiting to Exhale.” It’s a very good movie. I’ve had two relationships in my life. The first one last for two weeks. I lost all my morals and values and did more then I ever should have with that person. Two days after we had been intimate he broke up with me. My second relationship lasted for about a month. I had no connection with this person. We were just together. I know I’m on 17 but it hurts that it seems like nothing can work out when it comes to relationships. I just want someone to be there for me and to make life a little bit more bearable. I know the day struggles of life aren’t going to get easier; it would be nice to have someone by my side. Last night I went to my friend Paola’s birthday party. It was really fun, I really enjoyed myself. At the party there seemed to be quite a few couples there. It just stung me every time I saw them together. I just wonder if I’m compatible to be with anyone. My personality is so weird and off the wall, would I be able to be with someone. But you know what, does it really matter if I’m compatible with some one. As long as I’m happy with who I am it should be all right.

“You don’t feel worthy to have someone love you.” Hmmm, I should explore that quote. Valentine’s Day is Friday. Yay for some people. I’ll probably be so busy with stuff at school that I won’t even think about it. But you know what, I think in the end I think it’s friends who make like fun and bearable. When something is wrong with your spouse or something goes bad in life the first person you usually call is your best friend. It’s nice to have someone to hold you, but in the end, the friends are probably going to be there for you.

Sunday, February 02, 2003


What the hell is going on? I don’t understand. Feelings are hard to understand. There is Michael; I’ve been talking to him for a while now. It seems like we have a connection. I’m just scared to start a relationship; I don’t anything else bad to happen. We seem like we connect, we actually can hold a conversation together. I can talk to him and he can talk to me, or so I hope. I just don’t want to rush into anything and regret it later. Him and I have never met in real life, we’ve only talked on the phone and the net. He seems like really cool person. We both laugh at the same stupid things and have perverted minds, well except for mine is like five times worse then his, but I don’t think he knows that. But there are a few things that are getting in my way of starting anything. First, I don’t want to rush, this is has happened to me two times already where I rushed into a relationship and after a day I regretted it. Second, will he like the way I look. I have SUCH low self-esteem about how I look. I think I look like a beast. Third, when it comes to relationships I get very emotional. I want someone who will be there, who will hold my hand, give me a hug, kiss me, and we can both trade off on paying for dinner. Fourth, I wonder if he will fit in with my friends. My friends are a big part of my life and I put a lot of stock into their thoughts. Fifth, is this what I really want? Am I just jumping into my emotions and wanting to get some, or do I want a serious long-term relationship? Sixth, I think there might be some other opportunities out there, as in other people. I want to explore all my options and make sure I make the right decision. Right now I’m feeling an intense liking for Michael, but I want to make sure it’s 100% emotion, not just physical. I think that’s all I’m thinking right now. I guess I’ll just sleep on it and hopefully after MUCH thought I will come to a conclusion.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!! I just told my mom I was gay. Holy Shit! And you know what, she was like, “Ok, I already know!” Dear freakin God, I haven’t sweated this much since the summer when I had to run. Oh god, I don’t know what to say. Wow. I had my mom read the article I wrote on gay teens. She then asked if it was about me and I told her no. We then talked about something else and then I just told her. She was like, “I still Love you, your still my Pooh, nothing has changed.” I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless. I’m so thankful. She then said she had a clue that I was because after a chorus concert at school she talked to my Chorus teacher and was like “He’s a faggot isn’t he?!” And I got really upset over that and she said she had a clue after that. Wow, I can’t believe it.