Saturday, November 22, 2003

Were the drunks in high school right? Do I not know how to have fun? Am I really THAT boring?

Here it is, another weekend, and I’m sitting in the dorm lobby on the computer. Shit! But what makes this situation even sadder is that next semester, I will probably be doing this even during the week. Since Lisa and Gradia are leaving next semester, I’m not going to have anyone to hang out with or talk to. It just seems like everyone is having the time of their life right now.

Sometimes I wish we could control out emotions. We can’t REALLY stop being angry, we can just control what we do with our anger, or sadness. We can try to make it go away, but if it doesn’t go away, then what can we do? What if you like someone, or I should say, you think you like them, and you find out that the person is in a very loving relationship with a wonderful person… what can you do? Nothing. Just sit around and think about how much life sucks sometimes. Key word: Sometimes

I know that in life we have good times and bad times, even so, it’s still difficult to deal with the hard times. I wonder why I always feel like an outsider. Even during my senior year when I was having the time of my life, I still felt like an outsider. I wonder why that is? What makes me always think that I’m alone, even when I’m surrounded with people that love me? Sitting here right now I can’t think of a time when I have ever felt like part of the “group.” Family outings, prom homecoming groups, lunch tables, classes, anything, I never feel like I belong. This is something I need to explore and try and figure out…

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Um, yay...

Massachusetts Court: State Wrong to Ban Gay Marriage

By Fred Barbash
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, November 18, 2003; 1:18 PM


Massachusetts' highest court today invalidated a state ban on same-sex marriages, ruling that the right to marry is "the right to marry the person of one's choice," regardless of gender.

It stopped short of immediately legalizing same-sex marriages, however, referring the issue to the Massachusetts legislature for action "appropriate" in light of the ruling.

By a 4-3 vote, the state's Supreme Judicial Court said Massachusetts was violating its state constitution by denying the "legal, financial and social benefits of marriage" to people of the same sex who wish to marry.

It rejected the state's chief argument in favor of the ban: that the purpose of marriage is "procreation." That, the court concluded, is largely a cover for "persistent prejudices" against homosexuals.

It then took the extraordinary step of redefining the common law definition of marriage in Massachusetts.

Marriage, under the law, is not merely a union between a man and a woman, the court said.

Rather, it is "the voluntary union of two persons as spouses, to the exclusion of all others."

It is a "civil right," Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall wrote for the court, guaranteed by the state constitution's commitment to "the dignity and equality of all individuals."

Marshall left no doubt that the court expected conformance by the legislature. The "marriage ban," she wrote for the court, "works a deep and scarring hardship . . . for no rational reason."

The legislature, however, is free to amend the state constitution to overrule today's decision. There was some speculation today that a battle over a state constitutional amendment would be the next step in the Massachusetts controversy.

The ruling is similar to a 1999 Vermont Supreme Court decision, which led to its legislature's approval in 2000 of civil unions that give couples many same benefits of marriage.

The Massachusetts decision went further, however, by adhering to the concept of "marriage" alone. Marriages are recognizable across state lines. Civil unions are not.

Courts in Hawaii and Alaska have previously ruled that the states did not have a right to deny marriage to gay couples, but those decisions were overturned by the adoption of state constitutional amendments.

Gary Buseck, executive director of Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, said the seven couples who sued the state seeking the right to marry were "ecstatic" over the decision, which he called "a flat out victory," the Associated Press reported.

Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, a Republican, criticized the court's decision and said he would support a state constitutional amendment.

Paul Martinek, editor of Lawyers Weekly USA, told the Associated Press that the ruling was "historic" even though it did not immediately legalize same-sex marriages.

"The court appeared to be on the verge of announcing that same sex couples have the right to same-sex marriage but they took a tiptoe back from the cliff and allowed the legislature to adopt something that is not marriage in name but in all other respects," Martinek said.

"This court is going one step further than Vermont. This court is saying marriage is required or the benefits of marriage are required. But they did put the ball back in the legislature's court," he said.

The Massachusetts court declined to order that marriage licenses be issued to the seven couples who brought the suit at issue today, choosing to let the legislature take action it considers "appropriate in light of this opinion."

Dissenting were Justices Francis X. Spina, Martha B. Sosman and Robert J. Cordy. They said the marriage laws were the province of the state legislature, not the court, which should not be substituting its judgment of that of popularly elected legislators.

All the couples who brought suit in April, 2001 had been together for long periods of time -- from 30 years to 7. The ranged in age from 60 to 35 and most had children. Included among the plaintiffs were an investment banker, an engineer, a business executive and a lawyer. All were denied marriage licenses.

The court said that "the benefits accessible only by way of a marriage license are enormous, touching nearly every aspect of life and death," including the ownership of property, the laws of inheritance, insurance coverage and especially, the "presumptions of legitimacy and parentage of children. . . . "

"Without the right to marry . . . one is excluded from the full range of human experience and denied full protection of the laws."

It rejected all of the state's stated rationales for such an exclusion, which included creating a "favorable setting for procreation" and "child-rearing." It concluded that the marriage restriction is really "rooted in persistent prejudices against persons who are (or who are believed to be) homosexual."

"It cannot be rational under our laws, and indeed it is not permitted, to penalize children by depriving them of State benefits because the State disapproves of their parents' sexual orientation."

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

When I like something, I like it. I like Britney Spears. Yes, I have admitted it, and you know what? I like Justin Timberlake, NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, and all the other boy bands. I’m not ashamed any more. I know all the words to all their songs, when I’m in my room alone I sing them out loud and I dance to them. HA! How do you like them apples?!

Now you may be asking yourself why is Miguel telling us this, or where is he getting this boldness from to admit this. Well my friends, Ms. Spears has given me this boldness. Of course, only like I would do, I woke up this morning and went straight to K-Mart (it’s cheaper there) to buy her new CD, which came out today. Fuckin awesome. That’s what the CD is. If you didn’t like Britney in the past, well you’re going to like her. Yes, yes, it’s good.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Beware: Sappy entry!!!!!!! If you don’t want to hear someone complain how life has treated them, stop reading now, and come back tomorrow.

Friendship: Ok, now it’s my time. It’s Friday night, 12:17 A.M. and where am I am? I’m sitting in the lobby of my dorm on the computers working on an American Government project that’s due in two weeks. I opened up my AIM account, and of the 20 some odd people on my buddy list, only one was active, the rest were away, doing something, having fun, having a social life. I’ve fallen into the same trap that happened to me while I was at Roswell. Most of the people hear my school know who I am, no because I’m super cool person, just because I write for the paper and I wrote that oh so scandalous article last edition, so I was the talk of the school for a while. But I’ve fallen into that trap where many people know my name and know who I am; they say “hey,” “How are you?” And that’s it. That’s as far as they – and myself for that matter – are willing to take the beginnings of the friendship. I don’t understand why I don’t reach out to more people. It’s like I have this incredible knack for meeting lots of people and becoming their acquaintance, but I usually never let it go past that stage. I’ve probably let about three people in the “inner” Miguel side. But that was because they really wanted to see and kept pushing until I finally opened up.

Relationships: I’ve gone through so many stages on what I think a relationship should be and how I want that perfect relationship. Whatever I dream seems to never happen. And if it does, I somehow manage to fuck it up. (Corey) The whole situation with Corey and &^%$$#^ is screwed up. I had a really great thing going with Corey, I really do think it could have lasted for a while, if maybe even some years, but no, I had to screw it up. The second someone else comes along shows the slightest bit of a crush on me, I immediately jump ship and go to them. Why do I do that? I think it has something to do with this whole self-image problem. No matter how successful I become, I always see myself as they dumb black kid with a learning disorder. I can’t escape that mind frame. But right now I do feel lonely. I feel isolated. When ever I do go to hang out with someone from my school I feel like an outsider, like whatever I do or say there just going to look at me with crazy eyes and tell me to fuck off. There is this boy I saw at the UPS store. He is totally H.O.T.T. The first I saw him there I was dripping wet from the rain; I was dropping off a package or something. I could have SWORN that he gave me “the” look. So of course I just had to go back, a couple of days later I took Lisa to the store so she could mail off a package. Of course I went inside to see if he was there, he was. Lisa actually knew who he was, she introduced us. I didn’t really get any vibes that time. But I’m so confused now, I see him all the time on campus now, I don’t if I should approach him or just stay back and watch from a distance. (That’s kind of freaky) AH! I wish I could read minds! But other then that Miguel is S I N G L E.

School: Sometimes I feel like a super cool smart person who is well informed on the issues of today, and has something intelligent to add to conversations in class. But then sometimes I feel the dumb ass who can’t even add 2 + 2. I study, study, and study for Humanities, but I just can’t seem to make above a 79 on one the firggin tests. Everyone in the class thinks the tests are super easy, to me there hard as hell! Once again, AH!

**So I think that’ everything that I’m feeling right now, I hope so. I need to get back to homework that I want to get finished with so I can have the rest of the weekend to myself. Goodnight and everyone who’s out having fun, be safe, and have LOT’S of fun for me!

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Um, yeah... this is a little scary, someone just sent me this e-mail:

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.) Remote controls in hotels are the worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!)

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!

Annually you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

In a lifetime, 22 nosey workmen doing work in your home, will have examined the contents of your dirty laundry basket. We won't even go into guests snooping in your medicine cabinet.

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests. Mouth herpes.

Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.

YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY NOW !!!

~~Ewww
It’s been one of those nights. Shit I can’t remember the last time I was this angry. Ok, so it’s 2 something in the morning, I’m all nice and warm and SLEEP in my bed. I hear this loud banging out in the hallway, I don’t know what it is, but I turn back over and go to sleep. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! It sounds as if God himself is trying to break my door down. I immediately jump up, shit, I don’t have any clothes, so now I have to quickly put on a shirt and some shorts before I can go out in the hallway and raise some hell. [There is only one time I can ever remember being this mad, and that was way back in 7th grade] I was shaking with anger as I was trying to pull my shorts on. I looked through my desk drawer to get my citation slips, (it helps to be an RA in this type of situation); I opened up my door and looked in the hallway. No one, damn. So I walk around a corner hoping to catch one of the bastards so I can write them up. I turn back around and head back to my room. Wait, what’s that? Someone has their door open and their just standing there…oh yes… its time to let them have it.

“Why the FUCK are you all banging on my door at 2:00AM in the morning?” I yell. “Man, that wasn’t me, don’t come at me like that,” the baseball player yells back. “Well, when it’s 2:00AM in the freaking morning and someone’s banging on your door, your going to go after the first person you see.” I respond. There was some more yelling at that point, and of course being the pussy that I am, I apologized for yelling at the wrong person. Shit. I have got to have some more freaking backbone. But I can’t remember the last time I was this angry. I mean, my lip was trembling as I was yelling at him… But I have a plan to try and figure out who it was…I want to fine those idiots who was banging on my door. I don’t care if you’re loud in your own room at 2:00 in the morning, but when you start intruding on my sleep, then we have a major fucking problem.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Well, I guess we all know that deep down, I really am...gay.

Gay Bear
Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, November 10, 2003

I was SUPER bored, and followed the lead of Mr. J.R., so, here's the quiz about me.

Take my Cool Quiz!

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Awesome movie, everyone should see it: "Y tu mamá también." I'll give more details later, wayyy to late for me...

Saturday, November 08, 2003

There’s this myth that says that when women are around each other for long periods of time, there menstrual cycles tend to become one. They all go through their bitch stages together, and their “painful” periods together (Sorry, don’t mean to talk about the girly stuff, just making a point). I think that a whole dorm, filled with both boys and girls can eventually be on the same cycle.

Now we all know that boys don’t have periods, [or do they?!] but I believe that there is usually a week or so every month that a boy goes though his grouchy, bitchy period. (or is it just me?) I think my whole dorm is going through this bitchy period right now. This weekend everyone seems to be in a bad mood. Everyone is snapping on each other for no reason. Some people just don’t want to talk to anyone; I don’t know what’s going on. It really sucks for me because I’m a really sensitive person, so when someone says something to me that isn’t the most positive, even if they don’t mean for it to hurt or not, it does, and I end up with my feelings hurt. I hope this bad mood that has descended upon the dorm passes soon.

I need my bible back. Not the Holy word of God, but the organizer that I had last year that kept my life together. It seems like I have so much to do but I just can’t get it all together. I was super busy last year; I always had something to do. There was never enough time to complete a project I was working on, but I some how got it all done. With my nifty calendar around, I was able to be the poster boy for time management. But now it feels like I just can’t get it all done. I need to make a calendar on my computer or something so I can start laying out my schedule and make sure everything gets done.

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE John Mayer? If I haven’t, let me tell you again, I LOVE John Mayer. I don’t know what it is about him, but his voice is just so soothing to me. I put his cd on and I’m in an awesome place….ahhh…I wish I could go to his concert this week!

Friday, November 07, 2003

Ok, is anyone else annoyed at the fact that they actually like Clay Aiken? I was so determined not to like him, his song, his “image”, anything about him… But listening to some his album in Wal-Mart the other day, I couldn’t help but to bop my head and stomp my foot. It was good, DAMN! What ever happened to Ruben?

Moving to more non interesting news, yesterday I held a sort of pizza party for the floors that I am the RA on. They just happen to be the two floors where all the baseball players reside, how fun. I ordered 20 pizzas for the boys, they hungrily ate them all up. They were actually thankful. I thought they were going to push me aside, take the pizzas, and call me a fag, but all went well.

I changed my major! I switched from Communications to Journalism. Yay for me, but not yay, I don’t want to become one of those people who changes their major ten times a year, and ends up in college for twenty years… I changed my major because when I transfer to UGA I want to be a Broadcast Journalism major, my advisor told me that it would be best for me to graduate with an Associates Degree in Journalism, it would be easier for my credits to transfer.

Classes for next semester:
M-W-F 8:00AM-8:50AM: World History (why do we STILL need to take this class?!)
T-Thr 8:00AM-9:15AM: Sociology
T-Thr 9:30AM-10:45AM: Public Speaking (This is going to be a fun class!)
M-W-F 9:00AM-9:50AM: Comp II
M-T-W-Thr 11:00-11:50AM: [Stupid People] Math

Its going to be a pain waking up early for an 8AM everyday, but I rather do that then have a class at 2PM, it sucks!


Yeah…

Sunday, November 02, 2003

These are pictures from the Haunted House that I was involved in at my school. Yeah...

"Demons in Hell"


"Evil bloody lab"


"Me having my heart sucked out"


"The summoners aka the bomb ass designer [Tall, lanky, white kid, the one in the back standing up-Tyler]"

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Fucked over. That’s what seems to always happen to me; I get fucked over by someone. Getting fucked over and making big mistakes seems to be a common occurrence in my life. God, I feel so angry right now. When it comes to relationships it seems like I can’t get it right.

You know what? Fuck it. Fuck , fuck, fuck. PEOPLE SUCK! SHIT! FUCK! BITCH! MOTHER $*$&. YEAH…. Anyway…

Does anyone want a copy of the first newspaper that I edited and did the layout for? If ya do, then leave a note on the Shout Out and I will e-mail you.