If I EVER take more than one class for summer school, please shoot me! I am up to my eyeballs in work. This crap is freaking killing me—I’m so sick of school right now. I don’t understand the Spanish in Spanish class, I don’t freaking know what fatty acid tails are in Biology, and I sure as hell don’t care about the bodies response to shock in First Aid.. Midterms suck ass – big nasty juicy ass!

I think I am a bit overwhelmed right now. I don’t like to admit defeat, but I think right now I need to wave the white flag, or whatever flag I would wave at a time like this. The newspaper is beckoning me, the Gay-Straight Alliance, Student Government, and whatever freaking else I’m doing is calling for me to work on it. It sucks…yes it does.

BUT, there is one bright spot in all this gray crap…it’s a person, a person here in Douglas. Who you ask? Well I’m not telling. I’ve learned that if you type someone’s full name or parts of their name on your Blog, when they type their name in a search engine, your Blog, with their name, and what you said about them, will come up. I just don’t want to risk that right now. Ok, I’ve had my mind on said person for a while now. I’ve been getting bits of information about them over the course of a year. I actually got to talk to them last week at their place of employment. Well actually I didn’t talk to them, a friend of mine who knows said person talked to them while I stood to the side and tried to think of something witty and intelligent to say. Needless to say I didn’t. I just stood there and nodded my head in the right places of the conversation, and laughed when I needed to, but not my loud throw my head back laugh, but the subtle smile laugh…yeah. But said person mentioned that they broke up with their girlfriend three months ago, which would lead me to the conclusion that this person is not gay. But if you saw said person, the first thought you would have is: gay. Some people are just in denial, what can you do? But I don’t know what it is about this person, I’m not usually attracted to people like him, but I am! This person graduated from SGC this past spring and is going to a four year school near by in the fall.

In this type of situation I would normally A) Give up and bury myself in school work (done), or B) Act like I never liked the person in the first place, and go about my merry business. I can’t do that this time. I have spent most of this year trying to figure out this person from afar, they have me hooked—with out even knowing. I’m trying to get his e-mail from some mutual friends so I can e-mail him and ask if he would like to just hang out, you know, be his friend. Even if this didn’t go down the road I would like it to, he seems like he would be a cool friend.

Well I guess I’ll end it here, my fingers hurt and I need to study for my friggin First Aid mid-term at 5:30 today.

Buenos Tardes!

Doing my part for Pride.

This was fun...


WOO-HOO!! You are Elphaba! You are a feirce Green
Ball of awesomeness! there is nothing you
can't' do...except for taking a bath.


what WICKED character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Guess who had a near nervous breakdown this week? Oh, that would be me! I don’t know what happened, but I just started feeling like crap in the middle of week. I called my mom and told her I was thinking about dropping out of college and hiding in a mountain for the rest of my life. She then informed me that I don’t like the outdoors and I would probably want a hamburger to bad to actually stay in that cave for a long time. But really… this was a really tough week. I had three tests, two of which I bombed, so by Wednesday I wanted to hide away from everyone and cry my little brown eyes out. I felt stupid, fed up, frustrated, and every other belittling emotion one can feel. I think it was the pressure of feeling like I have to do everything right the first time. I feel like there are so many people expecting me to do well in school, and if I don’t something bad will happen. Don’t ask me what this bad event or thing is, I have no clue – but I just feel like that. I called my mother and explained all of this to her and she said (in my mother’s typical fashion), “Don’t give a fuck what anyone says about you. You have proved that you can do anything you want to, if you feel like taking a break from school then you do that—I would strongly encourage you not to do that, but if you feel it’s necessary, pack up your shit and come on home for a good ole’ rest up. I love you and you will succeed no matter what you do in life.” My mother, got to love her for her blunt honesty. That calmed me down a bit. I went off to Subway, got a sandwich, came back to my room and plopped my depressed self down in front of the revulsion, where I stayed for the rest of night. The next morning I felt much better. I go through this every now and then; I just get this overwhelming feeling as if I can’t get anything done and I’m just standing in the middle of it all watching it all go by.

This evening I went to Frier’s house and watched Football (soccer). It was France and someone else, they tied at the end. I don’t really know what was going on—I was just looking at the guys in their wonderful jerseys. But anyhow, Frier’s husband, Mr. Frier, graduated from UGA’s Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication a while back. He knows I want to go there so he gave me the Alumni magazine that the school publishes every season. Reading the magazine renewed my drive and determination to go there when I leave South Georgia College. During my depressed time this week I had come to the conclusion that I was to stupid to go to UGA and that I was going to go to another school…but after reading through the magazine, I know that I want to go to Grady and become a radio personality on a Top 40 station somewhere and rule the rule…hahahahahahahah…..

Things I have observed and learned this week:

-Some people can’t get over their childhoods….GET OVER IT!!!!
-Sulfur water smells REALLY bad, especially when you have to brush your teeth in it
-Biology makes NO sense, even though it should
-Why are the good ones Jesus freaks?
-Am I still a Christian when I use the term “Jesus Freaks?”
-I wonder if I write well enough to get into Grady.
-I need a new TV
-I need some money, like now
-I have GOT to lose some weight, my heart hurts
-I’m weird
-It feels good to know that people love me
-Even though I have to remind myself—I’ve had a good life so far
-Why does food cost money? Shouldn’t it be free since we NEED it?

It’s the little events in life that make living worthwhile.

I can’t get any type of signal for my cell phone in my dorm room. When someone calls I have to run outside to talk. Jenifer called me tonight and left a voice message, I wanted to call her back so I went outside to make the call. Upon arriving outside, I saw Stacie, Meg, and her boyfriend sitting on some cars in the parking lot having a talk. I walked over just to say hi, but I ended up staying and just talking for about 45 minutes. I can’t remember the last time I did that with people I don’t talk with on a regular basis. We just sat and talked about politics, life, and the stupidity of certain attitudes held by people in South Georgia. They then invited me to take a quick ride to Wendy’s to pick up a late night snack. Riding in the back of the car while John Mayer was playing in the background was nice. I think these are the type of moments in life that I seem to be missing out on. I think I spend so much time thinking about the future and how I want to be successful in life, I forgot about my happiness and emotional well being. It’s nice to be able to put down the wall I have up and just be me. For some reason I have a hard time doing that, in the back of my mind I think if people really saw my true personality they would run for the hills—but that’s not true, I have to get over that.

SO, what have I learned tonight?

-Don’t be such a tight ass (umm, yeah), have FUN!
-You only live once, live it up
-It’s the little events in life that make living worthwhile
-John Mayer is f*&^% AWESOME, and can be enjoyed in just about any occasion
-I can’t wait to get to UGA to make a book full of these memories
-I hope that I can make a difference here in South Georgia
-It’s REALL humid here in South Georgia
-I wish I had gotten something to eat at Wendy’s

Today I was feeling a little disgusted with life; I didn’t feel like doing any of the piles of homework I have, so I decided to change the blog template, again. I don’t know what’s wrong, today was just one of those days where I was annoyed with everyone and everything. I tried to laugh it off and be HAPPY, but it still didn’t help. I went to the gym and ran for a while, I felt better for a bit.

Gosh this summer school routine is getting old very quick…there’s so much to do in so little time. Today in Biology class the Professor was speeding through the notes like it was the last day of class and our final exam was tomorrow or something. She would spend like thirty seconds on a slide, go the next one, then say “Opps, don’t want to go over that yet,” and speed along to the next slide. I think I took down like ten pages of notes today. We have our first test in Bio Monday…I hope and pray and whatever else you can do that I do well on the test. I ended my first year of college really well; I don’t want to screw it up now.

A few thoughts that are going around my head at the present time but I don’t feel like expanding upon:

-Life can be lonely at times
-Music is wonderful
-Musical theatre (“Wicked” & “Rent”) taken in moderation can be a great stress reliever
-People (guys) who are drop dead gorgeous may not be as good as they look (I keep telling myself this…)
-The grass is NOT greener on the other side, bitch
-True friends are hard to come by
-Job security is a thing of the past
-Know it alls suck big time ass
-Religion is confusing
-Food is freaking awesome—but in moderation
-Can I get my Bachelors and Masters like today and just start my freakin career in radio right now?!
-I wish I had a photographic memory
-Money is nice
-Did I mention that music is awesome?

Got bored...


Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.




What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Summer school has gotten often to a wonderful start. My days are filled with Math at 8AM followed by Biology at 9:20AM. I then have a few hours to get some lunch and catch up with what’s going on in school with Frier. At 1:20PM I have Spanish class – sounds like fun, doesn’t it? On Thursday I have a Biology lab for like three hours. Oh, I forgot, on Wednesday night at 5:30PM I have First Aid until 8:15PM—I thought after high school I would be done with gym classes. But I guess First Aid is better than having Personal Fitness.

There are only about 27 people who live in the dorms during the summer, so I’m loving life right now. I don’t have to deal with loud music and people running up and down the halls screaming for no apparent reason. It’s SO much fun; I don’t even think you realize how much fun I’m having right now—yeah.

My life hasn’t been very exciting for the past few weeks, not much to write about. Well I guess I’ll go and do some Biology reading—until next time…muhahahahahahaha.