In times of trouble or great sadness in my life, I have turned to this blog to let it out. This is a day I will never forget. This is a moment I will not be able to erase from my brain.

I recieved a call one hour ago from my Mother informing that my cousin, my baby cousin, the one I use to baby sit when he was a just a little child, has taken his own life. I don't understand. I can't comprehend. I can't wrap my brain around it.

This phrase will be uttered many times over the next few months..."I just saw him and he seemed fine..." I did just see him. Christmas Day. He told me he was going to come visit and stay with me on the beach. I don't understand. My family has never experienced a tragedy such as this.

I'm afraid. I'm paralyzed. I just have no words.

Lord, please keep his soul at peace and I pray that he...I pray that he what? What do you say in this situation? Keep his soul safe? Keep him protected? My mind is running wild and I need to do something. I just...

I love you Antonio Burke. You will always be my baby cousin who threw up on my arm just months after you were born. You will always be my cousin with the killer smile. You will be my little cousin with so much talent and charisma, the world was just waiting to see what you had.