Saturday, March 25, 2006

I’ve had some trouble the past few weeks. I haven’t been able to sit down and write an adequate post. There’s been a lot on my mind and I have no clue on where I should start.

I feel like I have been blessed with so much in my life. I am a gay, black male, on the radio in South Georgia. I’m alive, I have clothes, a car, my family is alive, I have good friends, and I have a bright future…what more could someone ask for? Even though I have all of this, I still have this nagging feeling that I’m missing out on something. Someone once told me, well, I’m paraphrasing what they said, but basically that I am never really happy with anything because I’m always comparing what I have or what I’m doing to someone else who is better. I agree. I do that. But I have always done that to asses what I am doing and to see where I want to be. Didn’t our parents always tell us that we should surround ourselves around smarter people so we would ourselves reach up to their level? That’s what I’ve always done, but I think I gone too far. I thought I had gotten rid of the green envy syndrome, but I haven’t. It still pops up, mostly on weekends when I’m left with just me and my mind. Something that I have written about over, and over, and over still continues to pop up in my life, well, not pop up. But with other people, they have so much success. Even if it’s not successful, they at least have a little of it to enjoy.

Back to all that at some point.

It’s been a while since I updated. Spring Break happened last week. Went to the Bahamas with Mark. I had a wonderful time. Went to a nice beach for the first time in my life. I think this was the first real vacation of my life. Now I see what all the rage is about. We didn’t have a schedule, we didn’t have set time frames of where we wanted to be, we did whatever we wanted. I sat on the beach one day for hours, just reading a book and people watching. I LOVED it. I will definitely have to keep this up. Traveling is definitely worth my time.

Other than that, nothing of much interest has happened. Or at least I can’t remember. This is never good when it takes me this long to update. I’m tired.

Good day.