Friday, May 28, 2004

My cousin graduated from high school tonight. I felt like a proud older brother watching his younger brother walk across the stage and get his diploma. But of course, with anything that I attend, something pulls my mind away and gets me to think about other things. Like tonight at the graduation – my cousin Tyrone goes to South West Atlanta Christian Academy – if you haven’t heard about the school, you will in a couple of weeks. My cousin graduated with Dwight Howard, he’s supposed to be the next best thing in basketball (I think he’s supposed to be the number one pick for the NBA draft in a couple of weeks – but don’t quote me on that, as it is sports related and I usually have no clue what I’m talking about when it comes to sports). But anyway, this kid’s life is about to change—big time. I think he’s like 6’7 or somewhere around there - he’s huge! But after the graduation everyone was walking out of the church, hugging and giving congratulations to the graduates. Sitting right there in front of the church so everyone could see was a brand new BWM something something waiting for Dwight, via Nike. He stands to make 60 million dollars from an endorsement deal with Nike, and he hasn’t even been signed to a team yet!!! So that got me to thinking, why? Why does he get to have the money, fame, and glory? I’m not asking those questions for myself, but for my cousin. My earliest memory of my cousin was of him holding a basketball and saying something about Michael Jordan. He would spend countless hours outside honing his skills. He has always wanted to play basketball and make a living out of it, but I don’t think that’s going to happen for him. He was on the same winning team as this Dwight kid, but his talents were probably over looked because everyone’s eyes were focused on the beast running up and down the court hovering over everyone. I’m happy for the kid; he seems like the kind of person who is and will be very humble and down to earth – I just wish my cousin got a little piece of the pie. Well I guess he did in a way – I think they won like their division title or something like that, so he probably has the memories of the games and practices to cherish.

In other news…
My summer vacation is coming to a close; this Monday I head back to Douglas for summer term. I guess it’s going to be fun… I think it will be better than my time here home. I haven’t really done much, but then again I haven’t really wanted to. I’ve just been going to work at B&N, having lunch with people, and sitting around the house watching TV. Not a real exciting summer vacation. But I have spent way too much money since I’ve been back home! I’ve bought a few new CDS: Adam Joseph (little white boy who knows how to sing soul music – awesome), Rufus Wainwright (I’ve never heard anyone like him…very different interesting sound), Jamie Cullum (British boy who knows his jazz music!), and last but not least, Tamyra Gray (I am of the belief that she should have won the first American Idol, thank you very much!)

Well I guess the next time I post I’ll be back in wonderful Douglas…happy hunting!?

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Well I’m all Folked out. I’ve been up in my room for the past two days watching the first season of “Queer As Folk,” and you know what? That show is damn good! I like how it shows different aspects of gay people. They have the whore (but oh is he fine, but watch out, he will bite), the young twink, the old one, the self-described nelly bottom queen, and the big heart…oh, and lets not forget the two “dykes”. At first I was a little concerned by the drug use on the show, but as the season progresses the writers show that are consequence for drug use. But anyway, I love that freaking show. I don’t know if it’s number one, Buffy will ALWAYS have a place in my heart – I don’t know if anyone could take over her spot. I think in the next few weeks I’m going to try and buy season two on DVD so maybe next week I can lock myself in my room again and watch season two.

Watching the show gives me this, I don’t know yearning for something more. It’s like I’m supposed to take a next step in my gaydom. I went through the self-acceptance stage. I’ve been through the whole coming out process (well there’s still one more person I have to tell but I don’t know when that’s going to happen). I’m now going through the “I want to get political and abolish homophobia on earth” stage. So what’s next? Clubbing? Hanging out with a bunch of gay guys? A long-term relationship? Who knows, but I’m sure it won’t happen at SGC. I’ll probably have to wait for the next step to come at UGA, for now I’ll keep myself busy getting political… Down with Bush!!

Tomorrow I’m going for my usually testing, HIV testing that is. I know it probably seems a bit weird writing about it on my blog, but I have to talk (write) about it with someone, and if it’s my computer at 3:41 in the morning, then so be it!! =) I’m not worried about anything, everything should be fine.

Well, off to bed… dreams and be so fun at times…

Saturday, May 08, 2004

It’s done. It’s over. It’s finished. I went through finals and didn’t die! I’m impressed with myself. I just knew that after my World History and Sociology final I would be DEAD. But I survived and with a 3.5 GPA to prove it! Yay for me trying to be the good student.

Yesterday I left SGC with mixed emotions. On one side, you couldn’t get me to leave Douglas fast enough; sometimes that small town suffocates the life out of you. I mean, you can be in Wal-Mart, sneeze, and ten minutes later someone across town knows about it! But being in a small town does give you this safe feeling that I lose as soon as I enter metro Atlanta. But, dare I say it, but I think I actually might miss Douglas (it hurt typing that). I won’t miss the small mindedness, but I will miss my dorm, with my super fast internet connection (well – when it worked), my bed, Subway, the newspaper room (my second home)… and just the independent feeling I have when I’m there. But going home is apart of the whole growing up /college experience.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my future and how I want to go to UGA when I finish up at SGC. I’m excited, but then scared out of my wits about going up there. I’ve gotten comfortable being at such a small school, it’s hard to imagine myself at such a huge school. But I have a feeling that by this time next year when I’m all done with South Georgia College, I will be ready for the big leagues, I guess.

Well I’m off to do… nothing…I need to find something to do while I’m here at home…

Sunday, May 02, 2004

By next Friday 1/4 of my college career will be over. This year has been full of so many changes and weird events. I'm EXTREMEY happy that the year is over, but I hope that I make it through the week. Finals are going to kill me, or at least put me into a coma! Right now I'm at the radio station working the board for Nascar (yeah, me and Nascar, who would have thought?!), I was studying for Butler's test. I have his final Monday morning at 8AM. Fun.

Today I stumbled across some livejournals of some folks who live in Douglas. Wow. I still get freaked out when I see how small Douglas actually is. It's like everyone in this freaking town is connected somehow. But reading through people's livejournals they were talking about each other and the dramas that they go through. In a way it made me feel bad that I wasn't inloved in any"drama," not to say that I want to be inloved in any drama, but these people have lives, they ineract with each other. I don't really do much of that, outside of the newspaper room or at club meetings. Last night was the exception. Kayla, Ashley, and Jake came over to the dorms and we hung out. We sat around and talked about nothing, then we went and got dinner from different places. When we came back we had some interesting convseration about life and the future. Kayla and Ashley then helped me start to pack my room up. I really don't want to move my stuff back to Atlanta. Yes I do want to go home, but I don't want to stay in the house with my Grandmother and Mother. I love them, but I just feel like since I've moved out I should stay out. I guess that comes from my mother telling me as a child that as soon as I turned 18 I had to leave the house.

Oh, after a bit of confusion and spirited debate, South Georgia College now has a Gay-Striaight Alliance. We were approved as a club on the SGC campus and we have a budget, oh yeah! Now it's time to start spreading the love to everyone on campus, or try to.