Awkward things happening...

I like people I shouldn't.
I still go long times with no money.
As much as I like to think I cover up being lonely with work, it still creeps in at night as I'm thinking in bed.
I'm slowly starting to make a lifestyle change. Not as fast as I would like, but baby steps.
The thought of moving is really hitting me. A little sad, a lot happy, just ready for change...I've moved every year for the past five years, I think that's why I'm itching to move.
To do "it" or not to do "it"...my vow of celibacy I feel is coming to a close...but I just don't know if I want to budge...with who? When? Why? What would I gain from it? Would it change my life or just complicate it?
I have amazing friends that help me out, A LOT...I just hope I can repay them one day.
I want to be organized like I use to be.
I've become lazy...I'm wondering if the change of scenery will change that. The more I think about it, I think I'll step back into my old self...I've got the optimist back, but I just need the Type A personality back.
I want to explore my creative graphic side. I just dropped it when I left The George-Anne...I wonder if I have anything creative left in me.
I want to read more. I want to write more. I want to become more of intellectual person. I still look at people's profiles from high school to see what they are doing in life.

My back hurts.

Day 1.

Breakfast
I didn't go to Burger King or Arby's this morning for a breakfast sandwich...I grabbed a yogurt from Santiago’s frig (I'm dog sitting for him while he's over visiting Stephen in London)...sooo...yogurt still freaks me out. I think that's why I don't like a lot of stuff, the texture freaks me out. It feels all slimy going down...hmm...I may need to go back to oatmeal as my healthy breakfast food. What's for lunch...a hamburger sounds good...but I shall resist! I'm just going to come back and edit this through out the day to have a running dialogue of my eating habits so I can see in writing how crazy I am when it comes to food...

No time for a long drawn out post. At the TV station and I really need to get this stuff down.

Here's the deal. I'm fat. Shut up. Don't tell me I'm not. Don't tell me I look good. I'm overweight. My doctor says so...well, he did last summer. I think I am a very good looking person...I just happen to like the taste of food. Very bad food. It's like my drug. But I'm saying, right here, right now...in this production room in Savannah, Georgia I'm tired. I love making people laugh and poking fun at myself to make someone laugh. That will never change. But I've got to make some changes so I can become a healthier person. If I don't stop my bad habits now, it will only continue to get worse.

Whew...I said it publicly....now comes the plan...

I don't really have one at the moment, but I know what I need to cut out RIGHT NOW. If you see me near a Wendy's, Burger King, or ZAXBY'S (I really will miss that) stop me. If I'm out eating with you and I order a hamburger or buffalo chicken sandwich, take it away! And for goodness sake, take the ranch away! This is going to be hard...I feel like someone about to quit smoking...I now see how hard it can be. You always want to sneak ONE MORE...But I'm done.

I have something else to write about, but that will come later...when the mood strikes.

Oh, and for my personal record...I LOVED the Sex and the City movie. Call me a queer, sissy, gay...whatever...I LOVED that movie...and the music is just simply delicious from the soundtrack.

Okay, I've got to go and hold a camera...let's hope I don't mess up tonight in my withdrawals from ranch....