This is when that feeling creeps up into my arms and finds a nice resting place on my heart. I can’t explain this overwhelming feeling of sadness and depression that washes over my body once I get home for the night. It’s like, once I’ve finished running the rat race and doing what I need to do, I come home. But what do I come home to? My computer and iPod. But then again I’m not really sure what I’m asking for. I don’t think a boyfriend would magically solve my problems and make life 100 times better. It would only complicate life. I had a talk with DS today and we were talking about my ever growing drive and passion for success and work. I need to learn how to slow down and enjoy life. Enjoy the friends, enjoy the college life, but I can’t. I feel awkward and fake when I just “hang” out. I don’t know what I’m saying. This is just the exhaustion speaking…

SO, the mail people have serious pulled a fast one on me. My mother put my rent check in the mail a week before last. Still not here. Rent was due Saturday, as of Wednesday it will be late and there will be a $75 late fee. The loan to pay for summer school has messed up and it’s making me nervous. Credit card bills, water bills, electricity, insurance, cell phone bills…it all piles up. Who ever said money doesn’t buy happy happiness obviously wasn’t a college student with debt. But, such as life. Take the bad stuff and make it good. That’s the only way to deal with life without going insane.

I don’t think many times in my life I have been lied to or have had someone I thought was close lie to other people about me. There could possibly be something in my life that could be very bad and spoil a lot. I pray that these tales are not true and that everything was a misunderstanding. I’m too old for this. I continue to have senior moments through out the day.

Kori and I started a challenge to lose weight. The loser has to buy the other tickets to see Wicked.

Went to Douglas this past weekend to get some papers in order for the move. Kori and I are moving in August to a much better place.

Tired…