Comfortable silences. Have you ever thought why you have it with some people and with others you will do anything to make sure there’s not an ounce of silence?

What makes you look into someone’s eyes and feel that nothing has to be said because everything that’s needed to be said has been through the eyes? It’s a comforting feeling to not have to always search for words and just talk.

What about a connection between two people. What causes one person to be drawn to another? Better yet, what causes someone to be drawn to someone and not have it returned?

Questions to ponder tonight as I go out on the town for a bit. I’m going to be tired tomorrow, but sometimes a little fun is needed in the midst of thought and change.

Ya, know?

Random thoughts for now...will explain later...

If you are gay and you wear your hat backwards, that does not make you straight acting, a top, a jock, or masculine. Okay?

If you are in Wal-Mart...God forbid you have to go there...and you go through the self check out lane: DON'T GO WITH A SHOPPING CART FULL OF STUFF! IF YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR BAGS ON THE GROUND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ROOM IN YOUR SHOPPING CART, I THINK THERE MAY BE A PROBLEM! Okay?

Will explain later.

And the endless search for THAT someone continues. I would love to have a sting a posts that don't involve the search for love. But of course, something always happens that brings it up. Or someone brings it up. I pose this question...how do you know someone will fit you?

I know a couple who seem as if they fit in every way possible. The guys I meet who upon a first meeting it seems as if they would be a great match, never perfect, but I soon discover they have this huge flaw that can't be overlooked. And I'm sure when it comes to some guy with interest in me it's the same. I'm no perfect being as I would like to think. But how do you get over some glaring imperfection in someone you are interested in? There was once a day that it would take me weeks to or even months to finally open my eyes to something about the guy I didn't like. But after a certain someone a few years ago when I first started Georgia Southern my bullshit sensors have been put up and I'm always on alert for the next guy whose going to crap on me. Hmm...not really sure where this train of thought is going...

Ugh. I hate writing about this stuff but it's been in my mind for a few days. I have more I want to say but not exactly sure how I want to say it...do you ever have emotions rolling around your body and blood stream but you aren't sure what they mean?

I'm tired.

I'll try more this week.

The holidays are coming...

Quick little fun update.

Life is about the small victories…

In radio we have a industry website that everyone visits to find out about job openings, who moved to a new job, etc. Radio is ALWAYS changing, so it’s a nice way to keep up with what’s going on.

A post about KISSFM was made because Miss Thang Jennifer Beale is our mid-day girl! But at the very end they announced the new Fall Line-Up…and guess whose name popped up for the VERY FIRST TIME on allaccess.com….ME!!!!

“CLEAR CHANNEL Top 40 WAEV (97-3 KISSFM)/SAVANNAH announces their new fall lineup. "Since DREW CAREY got the 'Price is Right' gig, he pulled out of the race to be KISS-FM's new midday jock," said PD RUSS, who subsequently named JENNIFER BEALE to that position.

BEALE is also the entertainment reporter for the local ABC/FOX affiliate. The KISS lineup now includes KIDD KRADDICK IN THE MORNING (6-11a), BEALE (11a-3p), RUSS (3-7p) T*LOVELY (7-mid) and SPANISH MICHAEL (mid-6a).” <===YAY!

Like I said, it’s a small blurb, but life is about the small victories in life!

Seizing the day. Exactly what does that mean? I've people tell me many times that I am too rigid with life and I don't let go. I don't stray out of the lines for a little fun or to live a little. But what does that mean? Skipping a day at work?

I think the last year of my life was spent discovering another side of my self. Letting go and just learning to have a little fun, but I still have a ways to go. But it hit me tonight while driving through Statesboro and watching people on their balconies talking or when I went into my friends house and him and his boyfriend were sitting there watching tv. His younger brother just started college and walked in with a grin on his face and the world no where near his shoulders. He was just enjoying life. I can't remember a time when I had fun and wasn't worrying about an unpaid bill, my family, my health or any other mundane problem.

So what conclusion am I trying to reach? I want to live. I want to say what is unsaid. I want to look back at every opportunity I was given and know that I didn't hold back.

I think most of all, I want to love. I want the chance to open my heart and let someone completely fill it. I want to know what it's like to completely trust someone. I want to know what it's like to fully open your mind to some one and let them look around and see what's ticking in my brain. I want to know what it's like to have someone surprise me with a random visit. I want to know what it's like to be spoiled and to spoil someone. I just want to know...

Once again, I have no clue what's really going on up there. I just see a bunch of key words in my head and go with it. Not sure if it makes any sense.

I'm out.

Ah, the end of the summer...well "school" summer. People are going back to school. Moving into new apartments, buying new textbooks, figuring out new schedules, making new friends. It all sounds so fresh and new...life on the post college is a bit different. Things are the same as they were back in June. I am moving into a new apartment because my roommate got a new job and is moving on to an awesome new path in his life. My new path has been interesting so far.

The rules have changed. The players in the game always seem to one up you and know more than you. Moving up the ladder isn't as given as use to be. Instead of having two or three years to get out into the real world and working towards that goal of graduation now you work towards paying bills and staying afloat with all that life throws at you. It's a tough game out here and there are no life lines sometimes. No safety nets.

One of my many mental projects is to do better with friendships. Now that I'm "starting" over again, making friends and getting myself out there is harder than before. In school, join a club or the radio station and BAM, there are your friends and then you meet people doing other random things. Now what? lol But I don't want to lose the ones I have like I have done in the past. I'm very bad about keeping in touch with people.

Relationships. That part of my life has come to a screeching halt. All for the better. It's nice to watch everyone else fall in love and then fall out. I hate to seem them go through it, but I would rather it not be me. Harsh I know, but I've had my fair share of troubles and I want to hold off on those for a while.

It's funny to think four years ago around this time I looked at the world with such excitement and energy. I was going to college and nothing was going to stop me from doing whatever I wanted to do. Four years later, walking out of college with that paper I so desperately wanted, I have that same feeling of excitement and energy, but with extra filters I see the world for what it is...kind of. I still believe in the goodness of people and I hope that stays the same as time goes on.

Well, I have no clue what I just wrote about. But I wrote. I wanted to get out thoughts on the paper that have been swirling around the head.

Good day!

Life is so busy. We go, we go, we go and we never stop to just sit and think about what’s going on in life.

I was at work today and decided to snoop around facebook for a bit to break the monotony of the day. I came across a group dedicated to a middle and high school friend who took his own life a month ago. When I first heard the news, it was shocking, but of course in life you get news of something one day and then the next moment something else pops up you have to deal with. I never got time to just sit and reflect on what happened. When I came across this group on facebook, my friend’s father posted a beautiful poem on the facebook group. Reading through that poem opened my eyes. His mother, his father, his grandmother, his grandfather, his uncle, his aunt, his cousins…they were all affected by this devastating lost. They can’t just move it to the back of their minds and keep working - that is a life-altering event. Those family members will continue to rack their brains and think of what they could have done to help Blake. I just pray that their family makes it through the tough times.

Well, with that said, everything else just seems mundane, but here’s a little update. I went to Spring Break in Daytona, graduated from college in May, moved to Savannah in June and am now working at Clear Channel Radio. I’m on air overnights during the week and weekends on KISSFM. During the day, I do a lot of behind the scenes work on the programming side for the radio stations in our cluster. Right now, life is at another starting point. It’s a little slow and not what I expected, but that’s life. I’m getting adjusting to the working world and getting use to working from 10am until 7pm everyday.
That’s it for now.

Since I have been in college, religion has been something I’ve put in the back of my mind. While in high school I was super involved in church – organized total youth day, served as the Communications Director my church, was a youth deacon for years…everyone thought I would be a preacher. Then I went to college, in South Georgia. Seeing the “Christians” in Douglas and how they treated any one who was different, especially gays really turned me off to religion. Recently I’ve had this yearning to be back in the midst of church. The feeling you get when listening to a choir sing, the powerful, uplifting, hopeful feeling you can get when you hear an awesome sermon. I miss those days; I just want to find a place that’s accepting of all. No matter who you are or what you are. That’s what Jesus would want. Lately I’ve been really thankful and counting my blessings from God. God has blessed me with so much in life, success in my career, friends, and stability in my life. I just felt like I needed to acknowledge that in public. Well, as public as a blog can be.

Some things in life that are coming up and happening:
-Job search 2007. School is OVER for me in a couple of months and it’s time to be thrown into the real world. I hoping and praying that all the sacrificing and work I’ve done for the past 12 years will pay off now.
-My current group of friends has to be the most dramatic I have ever encountered. I’ve met lots of peoples and have had many different groups of friends, but I have never met one like this. But I love each and every one of them to death. They provide excitement to my day. I love getting a phone call that starts, “Guess what I heard?” or “You will NOT believe what I just found out!”
-March 8th is a date I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. Not only is it the last day of The Morning Buzz, it will be the end of my stint on 91.9 The Buzz as an on-air personality. I’ll be on for the rest of the semester filling in for dj’s or relay for life, but March 8th will be the last day I’ll crack open a mic on the 91.9 frequency to talk about the days events and share my views on some stupid blunder of Paris Hilton or talk about my drunken weekend or the drama with my gays. This was my first experience with being on-air in a capacity like that. I’m ready to leave, but it will be bitter sweet. The last show will feature old Buzz personalities from the Start of Buzz Late Night Live last spring. Jamie Lynn, Average Joe, J*Magic, and Toni will all be back on the last show with me, Bryan, Caroline, and King Philip. I can’t wait!
-I’ve been talking to someone for a little bit. A new boy. lol Gosh, I feel like I’ve written hat sentence so many times in this blog. I don’t want to give to many details, but I’m really excited.
-If you know of ANYONE IN RADIO WHO WANTS a dedicated, knowledgeable, kind of new person, tell them to call me. lol

I’m out.

Good day.

Soooo, I’m thanking the Lord right now. Guess who is KISSFM’s (973kissfm.com) newest weekend jock? ME! I just got the call a few minutes ago. I did a lot filling in for Kramer, the night jock, during the holiday break, and the higher ups said they liked what I did. I’m so excited right now. I’ll be on-air 12-3pm every Sunday!

Here at The Buzz, we did a test morning show to see if there was any potential for chemistry between Bryan, Caroline and myself. I think we’ve got something good brewing. The first break I did, I said the intro with Jamie’s name. It was weird not having her there and hearing her voice. It was like there was something missing. But I was really proud of Bryan; he stepped up to the plate and did a job of going back and forth with me. I think once Caroline gets used to waking up and the on-air jitters, she’ll fit in perfectly. Now I’m excited to see how King Philip is going to do. He starts with us Monday.

Everyone is back in town and I can see blips of drama coming on the horizon. I just hope that we all can at least remain friends through out the semester.

I’m going to get my car next week. I can’t wait! I’m not sure what to name it. Mike tells me its bad luck to name your old and new car the same thing. I really wanted to name my car John Mayer. Sad day, can’t use it I guess.
Here’s what my new car looks like:


So, right now, things are looking pretty good. I still need to pay rent today. Don’t forget!

Good day!