WARNING: REALLY BORING SELF PITTYING MATERIAL!

I just feel like I can’t compete. It seems like the world is full of nice pretty people and me. I wish I didn’t have this inferior feeling in the back of my head. I think that is going to be the thing that kills me when I’m older, working so hard to prove to anyone who will listen that I am smart, I can do whatever I put my mind to, etc.

I just look at most of the people I know, and it just looks to me like they have everything they want. I mean yes I know that there are plenty of people in the world who are in a way worst position in life then I am. And the people that I am envious of, I know they have their own problems, but I can’t help but be a tad jealous.

But to the real reason why I go to be in this crappy mood. Boys. I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know why I have this mentality that I have to be with someone. I tell people that I am in my “self-discovery” years and that I don’t want anyone, I’m enjoying being single. But yet, everyday, just about every other hour, I yearn for that special someone. That someone who will understand Miguel. He will accept me for who I am. He will LOVE all of me, my insecurities, my faults, my values, my likes, my goals, me. That’s what I want, and it seems like a lot people I know have that. That special one. That someone who makes the room spin when you see them, the person who can call you when you’re having the day from hell, but manage to put a smile on your face. The person who will make me feel safe; make me feel included in this world.

That one. God my heart just hurts thinking about how much I want to give my heart to that someone. I hope it happens.

Someone got REALLY bored...



You come from the Middle Ages. Your soul came from
a time when dragons, knights, war and
Princesses ruled the land.



you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse



YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!






How random are you?

this quiz was made by alanna



Funny Asian Man

find your queer
as folk personality!

57% addicted to Instant Messenger. How about you?

OH GOSH, I CAN’T WRITE….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….HAHA…HA..H…A

Coming home is always really weird. I don’t know if I really miss home or if I’m just ready to get away from the stupid people at my school.

I’ve been home since last Friday. Church on Saturday was ok; I was just a tad annoyed that everyone kept commenting on how much weight I have gained at school. I just wanted to look at them and say, “Really, I hadn’t noticed at all, seeing as how I have to look at my fat ass every time I get out of the shower!” Sunday was spent Christmas shopping with my Grandmother and working. Oh how I Love working at Barnes & Noble. I think that’s the best retail job someone could have. It’s stressful at times, but usually fun and relaxed.

Ok, I’m tired of recalling what’s happened to me this week…now I’m going to go into the random part of the entry. This whole process of life is interesting to me. Going through school, graduating from high school, and then coming back to see your friends during break. I wonder how long that’s going to happen. Well for me it’s a bit more difficult to stay in touch with everyone since I live so far away. And it also has to do with the whole thing about feeling like an outsider. I know a lot of people from high school, but it doesn’t feel like I will know them for the rest of my life, I think. I don’t know. It’s just weird being home; it brings back all the memories from school and such.

I don’t my entries make much sense…I just type as the thoughts come to my head; I don’t really try to organize my thoughts.

Hey, visit this and post: SGC News

AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......washing machines suck!

Oh yeah, it’s SO fun being a journalist, well, a college journalist. We just had the winter edition of our school newspaper come out this Friday (yesterday). I wasn’t expecting to hear much about the articles that I wrote, since I didn’t write anything controversial this time. But of course, someone is going to be offended by something. Well apparently all the people on my floor [probably not all, just a few] were offended by my soapbox column.

In the column I talked about being clean in college and how people should respect their dorm mate’s living space. Well, the other people on my floor missed the whole point of the article and thought I was writing ABOUT them… this is what they wrote on my door last night:

“FUCK YOU BITCH” Signed 2nd Floor [C-Wing].

Under that note was the following:
“Stop acting like a little bitch! You Fucking girl, if you don’t like the 2 Floor C Wing leave we will like it a lot better bring it up in the floor meeting.”

Ok, first off, no I am not a little girl, thank you very much, and secondly, yes I am a Bitch, so they better watch out! j/k lol

I just think it’s so funny that they are getting all hot bothered about a little article, but I am happy though that they are reading the newspaper. I wonder what I could write for the next edition to REALLY piss them off. lol Nah, I wouldn’t do that…

I tell ya, you try to live your life a certain way and make no major mistakes, you do really well… but then, you make a BIG mistake and fuck everything up. That’s what I seem to do sometimes. I don’t care how careful I am, I always do something wrong. I can’t help it, it’s in my genes. But then again, I can’t be the one to blame for this one. Some people don’t know when to keep their mouths shut. When you tell them something it’s supposed to be just between the two of you and no one else. NO ONE ELSE. But then, some people just don’t know.

This has been a very tiring weekend. Friday night I was in the newspaper room until 1:45A.M., yes, 1:45 A.M. I hate that I always have to have things next to perfect! Then, I had to wake up Saturday morning to help give the SAT’s to little high school kids. I got paid for helping so that made it a little easier getting out of bed that morning. It was weird sitting there watching the kids take the SAT’s, just to think, I was sitting in that same position last year at this time taking the SAT’s hoping and praying I would get a good score so I could go to college. My biggest fear then was not being able to go to school. I’ve heard people say that no matter how stupid some can be, there will always be a college somewhere who would take that person in to their school. Well I was always afraid that I would be that one dumb ass person who doesn’t get into any school at all.

But back to my story, so I finished helping with the SAT stuff and came right back up to the newspaper room; I again ended up staying until something in the morning. But luckily, two of my staff members stayed with me to keep me company while I was working on the layout for the paper. I’ve learned to really like newspaper since I have been working on it this year. I thought it would be ok, but it’s been really cool.

Let’s see…. this past week nothing much happened, I have just been working on the newspaper the whole time. That seems to be taking up all of my time now.

But I am so excited for the Christmas break. I can’t wait to go home so I can sleep. I don’t really miss my stuff, I just miss being in my bed and being able to sleep in actual silence. Dorms are great and all, but there is rarely a time when I get to sleep in quietness. It seems as if someone is always up, no matter what the time, doing something stupid. I just love being on the baseball floor. [sarcasm]

Yeah, so I think I’m finally going to take that much needed nap. NOT! There is still lot’s of work to be done.

Go Me!


My life is rated PG-13.
What is your life rated?

Here's something to think about...

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. ! At the e nd of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV ! (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.....AMERICA.....