First week of sophomore year can probably be summed up in one word: HELL!
This week has been horrible. I’ve almost had one nervous breakdown this week. Let me help you all out: DON’T TAKE 18 HOURS AND BE INVLOVED IN OTHER CLUBS!! IT’S JUST NOT POSSIBLE!!
Ok, I’m done – that felt good. This week has been filled with lots of worrying, but the funny thing is I have no earthly idea what exactly I was worrying about. I think having 18 hours, being involved in clubs, having to work, having some thing of a social life just got to me subconsciously – but it slipped out and permeated into my conscious mind. DAMN that brain of mine! I think after talking with some people I’m better. I just have to realize that every decision I make right now is not going to determine the rest of my life. Even though it really does, I don’t have to focus on it ALL the time. Which I tend to do.
So there are these words that have been circling around my mind for a while, and I don’t know what to do with them. I guess it would help if I wrote down the words: Love, relationships, passion …words like that. Right now it feels like I have several avenues to get to have those words come to life, but I don’t know which way to take it. There’s Victor in Lavtia (I hope I spelled that correctly) who I have been talking to over the net for most of the summer. I know I told certain friends that I wasn’t going to do this anymore, but when you live in Douglas, GA and have nothing else to do, you have to find something to pass the time. We have been talking for a while and I feel like we have gotten close, but there’s only one thing that’s kind of making me be hesitant: I’ve never met him in real life before. I wish he lived here in the states, that would be so cool. He’s an awesome person; I think he can speak like three languages. He just graduated from college over there – he’s into graphic and web design. He seems like such the great package, but there’s that one thing, I’ve never met him before. I’m hoping that he will get to come over to America some time soon so I can meet him. I hope I don’t sound like a total loser! lol
Ok, well it’s 12:30 and I have a 9 am class tomorrow, or I guess I should say later this morning. History at 9:00 am, yay.
Poptarts are cool, and so is yo mama. =)
Sunday, August 22, 2004
I’ve been at school for almost a week now, and of course the drama started as soon as I got here, but thank God I wasn’t in the middle of it. I was more of an innocent by stander, like usual.
Let’s just go through a run down of the week thus far:
Tuesday: Woke up was early and got on the rode at like 8 am to haul ass to Douglas. The trip usually takes four hours; it took me three, thank you very much. I got here in Douglas, had lunch with Frier, Musgrove, and Frier’s brother. I met up with Jeff (Resident Manager) to get my STUFF out of storage. It took me an hour and a half to unload my car and get all my crap from storage. Catie came over and helped me unpack. Being the proud ambivalent person that I am, I couldn’t decide on how I wanted to arrange my room, so we just hung my clothes up and unpacked some more crap. After that, we went to her house and hung out for a while. A little later in the evening Catie and I ventured over to Drew’s house where Mark and Pepijn were. Drama happened – I watched in awe and surprise as it all unfolded before my little brown eyes. I don’t want to go into details (it’s not my place to tells people’s business), but it got pretty messy.
Wednesday: Because of the drama of the above group of people. I was asked to go with Catie to take Pepijn to the University of Florida in Gainesville, FL where Pepijn will be attending school for the first time. It was such a beautiful campus. The bookstore, the union, the dorms (or as I would like to say, fucking beautiful dorms), the pool at the dorms, the hot guys playing basketball on the basketball court at the dorms…I digress… so anyhow, we took him around campus making sure he had all of his ducks lined up before school classes started. Pepijn’s roommate, who is VERY hott by the way, came along for the ride. His name is Wax, and he’s a hot British Asian guy, mmmmm…..After wards, Catie and I headed back to Douglas. I was very depressed going back to SGC. Being on such a beautiful and lively campus like the University of Florida really made me question why I’m at SGC.
Thursday: Woke up way to early to start checking in the freshman into the dorms. There are only two times that I hate being an RA, when we have to 1) Check people in during the Fall and Spring semesters, and 2) When we have to check people out at the end of each semester. But most of the new freshmen are cool, none of them look like murders or a rapist, which is a good thing, I think. Later that night I went and spent some time with Kayla and Ashley. We watched the Olympics…those Hamm twins are FUNNY sounding. You would think they would have deep bass sounding voices, but when they open their mouths, they sound like aliens or something.
Friday: More checking in of the freshman, FINALLY getting paid for my week of working at Barnes and Noble during the little summer break that I did have. OH, and I actually broke a promise to myself. I went to a high school football game. Yes, I, Miguel, went to a high school football game. The Coffee High Trojans VS the Ware County High Gators. I can’t believe I actually went; I made it a point never to go to a game during high school. When I was on Homecoming Court senior year, I left after the ceremony on the football field, I had NO desire to stay and watch a football game between guys that I had no respect for. But things are different now, I don’t know these kids and it was fun to go and hang out with some cool people. I met Brandon at the game, he was cool.
Saturday: Finally did some cleaning around my poor little room, washed the clothes so I wouldn’t smell bad the first week of school. Kayla, Ashley, Nicky, Catie, and Sam treated me to Golden Corral for my birthday. That was fun, all of us sitting there stuffing our faces (expect for Sam, she didn’t want to eat) and laughing over nothing in particular. Those are the moments in life that make it worth living.
Sunday (My 19th birthday): Well it’s 3 in the morning on my birthday and I’m sitting on my computer writing in my blog, fun. Let’s see, tonight I went to Movie Gallery and rented, “The Prince and Me.” I know, I know…I like the chick flicks, what can I say? But I enjoyed the movie. It made me incredibly sad afterwards though – it made me face the truth about love. NO ONE is EVER going to come along and “save” you from your life. NO ONE is EVER going to be that “perfect” one. They might be close, but it they will never be perfect. I hate that, I wish there was that one perfect person for me out there. I could sit here and type out off of the qualities I would want this gentlemen to have, but I’m way too tired and it would just make me sad all over again.
But yes, it’s August 22nd, 2004 – I was born 19 years ago. Thank you mother!
Well hopefully I will have time this week to update on the happenings of the first week of class. Until next time my loves….
Let’s just go through a run down of the week thus far:
Tuesday: Woke up was early and got on the rode at like 8 am to haul ass to Douglas. The trip usually takes four hours; it took me three, thank you very much. I got here in Douglas, had lunch with Frier, Musgrove, and Frier’s brother. I met up with Jeff (Resident Manager) to get my STUFF out of storage. It took me an hour and a half to unload my car and get all my crap from storage. Catie came over and helped me unpack. Being the proud ambivalent person that I am, I couldn’t decide on how I wanted to arrange my room, so we just hung my clothes up and unpacked some more crap. After that, we went to her house and hung out for a while. A little later in the evening Catie and I ventured over to Drew’s house where Mark and Pepijn were. Drama happened – I watched in awe and surprise as it all unfolded before my little brown eyes. I don’t want to go into details (it’s not my place to tells people’s business), but it got pretty messy.
Wednesday: Because of the drama of the above group of people. I was asked to go with Catie to take Pepijn to the University of Florida in Gainesville, FL where Pepijn will be attending school for the first time. It was such a beautiful campus. The bookstore, the union, the dorms (or as I would like to say, fucking beautiful dorms), the pool at the dorms, the hot guys playing basketball on the basketball court at the dorms…I digress… so anyhow, we took him around campus making sure he had all of his ducks lined up before school classes started. Pepijn’s roommate, who is VERY hott by the way, came along for the ride. His name is Wax, and he’s a hot British Asian guy, mmmmm…..After wards, Catie and I headed back to Douglas. I was very depressed going back to SGC. Being on such a beautiful and lively campus like the University of Florida really made me question why I’m at SGC.
Thursday: Woke up way to early to start checking in the freshman into the dorms. There are only two times that I hate being an RA, when we have to 1) Check people in during the Fall and Spring semesters, and 2) When we have to check people out at the end of each semester. But most of the new freshmen are cool, none of them look like murders or a rapist, which is a good thing, I think. Later that night I went and spent some time with Kayla and Ashley. We watched the Olympics…those Hamm twins are FUNNY sounding. You would think they would have deep bass sounding voices, but when they open their mouths, they sound like aliens or something.
Friday: More checking in of the freshman, FINALLY getting paid for my week of working at Barnes and Noble during the little summer break that I did have. OH, and I actually broke a promise to myself. I went to a high school football game. Yes, I, Miguel, went to a high school football game. The Coffee High Trojans VS the Ware County High Gators. I can’t believe I actually went; I made it a point never to go to a game during high school. When I was on Homecoming Court senior year, I left after the ceremony on the football field, I had NO desire to stay and watch a football game between guys that I had no respect for. But things are different now, I don’t know these kids and it was fun to go and hang out with some cool people. I met Brandon at the game, he was cool.
Saturday: Finally did some cleaning around my poor little room, washed the clothes so I wouldn’t smell bad the first week of school. Kayla, Ashley, Nicky, Catie, and Sam treated me to Golden Corral for my birthday. That was fun, all of us sitting there stuffing our faces (expect for Sam, she didn’t want to eat) and laughing over nothing in particular. Those are the moments in life that make it worth living.
Sunday (My 19th birthday): Well it’s 3 in the morning on my birthday and I’m sitting on my computer writing in my blog, fun. Let’s see, tonight I went to Movie Gallery and rented, “The Prince and Me.” I know, I know…I like the chick flicks, what can I say? But I enjoyed the movie. It made me incredibly sad afterwards though – it made me face the truth about love. NO ONE is EVER going to come along and “save” you from your life. NO ONE is EVER going to be that “perfect” one. They might be close, but it they will never be perfect. I hate that, I wish there was that one perfect person for me out there. I could sit here and type out off of the qualities I would want this gentlemen to have, but I’m way too tired and it would just make me sad all over again.
But yes, it’s August 22nd, 2004 – I was born 19 years ago. Thank you mother!
Well hopefully I will have time this week to update on the happenings of the first week of class. Until next time my loves….
Monday, August 16, 2004
Hmmm…well I started to write a post about how nice guys finish last, but I’ve changed my mind on that post. I’ve gone through several different emotions tonight. First I was content, then bored, then hurt, and then embarrassed, now angry, well not angry, just…I don’t know.
I used to get so upset at the fact that I could never find anyone to “love me” or ‘like me.” Bullshit. I think that gay men, or maybe just me, put way too much stock into what other “hot” men think of them. It’s so tiresome always worrying if you have on the right clothes, or if you’re acting too gay, or not gay enough. I feel like I’m back in high school! And I really would not want to revisit that place again! And you know what’s not cool either, people who smell. Just thought I would put that in there for some thought.
Things to think about this week:
1) My birthday is Sunday, I turn 19.
2) I return to South Georgia tomorrow (Tuesday).
3) I bought Ashlee Simpson’s cd, and I actually like it.
4) Every time I come home I always leave with no money…maybe I should never come home…
5) People suck
6) Being alone is just dandy, or that’s what I keep telling myself.
7) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
8) Frier is right, all the time: Who’s the source?!?!?!
9) TRUE friends are hard to come by.
10) What the hell am I going to do with my life?
11) Am I a sexy beast?
12) Am I a beast?’
13) Am I a fat beast?
14) I miss Buffy.
15) School starts next Monday, crap and a half.
16) Why doesn’t money grow on trees?
17) If your up at 3:00 in the morning, you really have problems…so why don’t you come over and we will all have problems together!
18) YAY.
19) I love cows.
I used to get so upset at the fact that I could never find anyone to “love me” or ‘like me.” Bullshit. I think that gay men, or maybe just me, put way too much stock into what other “hot” men think of them. It’s so tiresome always worrying if you have on the right clothes, or if you’re acting too gay, or not gay enough. I feel like I’m back in high school! And I really would not want to revisit that place again! And you know what’s not cool either, people who smell. Just thought I would put that in there for some thought.
Things to think about this week:
1) My birthday is Sunday, I turn 19.
2) I return to South Georgia tomorrow (Tuesday).
3) I bought Ashlee Simpson’s cd, and I actually like it.
4) Every time I come home I always leave with no money…maybe I should never come home…
5) People suck
6) Being alone is just dandy, or that’s what I keep telling myself.
7) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
8) Frier is right, all the time: Who’s the source?!?!?!
9) TRUE friends are hard to come by.
10) What the hell am I going to do with my life?
11) Am I a sexy beast?
12) Am I a beast?’
13) Am I a fat beast?
14) I miss Buffy.
15) School starts next Monday, crap and a half.
16) Why doesn’t money grow on trees?
17) If your up at 3:00 in the morning, you really have problems…so why don’t you come over and we will all have problems together!
18) YAY.
19) I love cows.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
UPDATE:
1) Finals are over – they sucked!
2) I might fail Biology – who gives a crap! (Actually, I do, but I am trying to pretend as if I don’t!)
3) I just finished the newspaper layout for the August edition and its kick ass! I cannot wait for everyone to see the new layout/design of the paper.
4) I am going to home tomorrow – I am excited, yet scared of going home. When I go home I spend wayyy to much money on gas, food, etc…but I cannot afford that right now. I have to be strict with my money.
5) I have totally fallen off my Weight Watchers program…I have GOT to get back in line.
6) I do not like Biology.
7) I like Spanish, but Spanish verbs are a bitch.
8) Big Brother comes on in ten minutes and I am excited – loser!
9) I am excited to see everyone from home.
10) I hope this fall brings many new and exciting situations and people.
11) I’m happy I met Catie and Mark this summer, they seem like cool people.
12) My birthday is the 22nd of this month and I really hope it doesn’t suck this year!
So that pretty much sums up everything I have been thinking about today, the day before I leave for home. I probably will not be able to update while I am in Atlanta…seeing as how my family doesn’t like to pay for an internet connection (HELLO, we are in 2004, are we not?!?!).
Until next time…
1) Finals are over – they sucked!
2) I might fail Biology – who gives a crap! (Actually, I do, but I am trying to pretend as if I don’t!)
3) I just finished the newspaper layout for the August edition and its kick ass! I cannot wait for everyone to see the new layout/design of the paper.
4) I am going to home tomorrow – I am excited, yet scared of going home. When I go home I spend wayyy to much money on gas, food, etc…but I cannot afford that right now. I have to be strict with my money.
5) I have totally fallen off my Weight Watchers program…I have GOT to get back in line.
6) I do not like Biology.
7) I like Spanish, but Spanish verbs are a bitch.
8) Big Brother comes on in ten minutes and I am excited – loser!
9) I am excited to see everyone from home.
10) I hope this fall brings many new and exciting situations and people.
11) I’m happy I met Catie and Mark this summer, they seem like cool people.
12) My birthday is the 22nd of this month and I really hope it doesn’t suck this year!
So that pretty much sums up everything I have been thinking about today, the day before I leave for home. I probably will not be able to update while I am in Atlanta…seeing as how my family doesn’t like to pay for an internet connection (HELLO, we are in 2004, are we not?!?!).
Until next time…
Sunday, August 01, 2004
All good things must come an end...well I wouldn't call summer school a good thing, but it's almost over. This week we have finals, then Monday I am off to Atlanta to get some much needed rest. I think this is the worse I have done in school since, I can't even remember when I have done this bad in school. I am oh so close to FAILING Biology. Me, Miguel, Mr. Overachiever is about an inch from failing Biology. I have NEVER liked Biology, nor do I think I ever will. I would much rather stress over a history test where I least have some grasp of what's going on, than Biology where I feel like I don't understand anything. And as soon as I think I do understand something, the Biology Professor will ask me a question about the material and my mind just goes blank. IT SUCKS! JESUS PLEASE don't let me fail Biology! I can't, if I do, then I should pack it up and not even think about going to UGA. I guess I'll just have to head on over to Georgia Southern....
In other news..the newspaper is looking really good. It seems as if my creative side is finally opening up - I'm able to come up with some great layouts for the newspaper. I'm excited for the paper to come and see what everyone thinks about it. I love the front page of the paper, I think it's so cool. I have my eye on some new Freshman who I think would fit well with the rest of the newspaper staff. The first two weeks of school I'm going to go on a major recruiting hunt to scoop up the talented, committed new people for the newspaper staff.
I've had the pleasure if hanging out with some local folks from school this weekend. Friday I went to Valdosta with Jeff and we saw 'The Village.' I thought the movie was awesome - the ending was like, wow, I can't believe it... I then came back, looked at some Biology notes, took a nap, then went to dinner with Catie, Sam, and Pete. That was fun, just chilling out with people at dinner and talking about nothing in particular, just hanging. I don't get many moments like that...I'm always running to and fro, or trying to get a few minutes of sleep in. I took the three of them to the dorms so they could see the horror that is college dorms. They were all horrified at the jail like quality of the dorms - but to me it's become home. But that might explain why I spend most of my time in the newspaper office rather than my room. Here's a look at a picture Catie took with her camera phone...
Then I rode around with Catie and Sam...they took me to Coffee High, where they graduated from high school. I have to say, it put Roswell High to shame. I always thought we had a nice spread out school, but there high school is huge. But then again all of Coffee County goes there so they have to have a pretty big school. They rolled down the big hills at the school, I didn't roll. I didn't want to get dirty. (I know, I'm sad)
So that was that...yesterday I worked on the newspaper and was really happy so I went to Subway to treat myself. I ran into Catie and Mark there. I was leaving and they were coming so I decided to just stay and sit with them while they ate. It was fun just to sit and laugh, and that we did. Here are some photos that Catie took at Subway (I'm stealing them all from her live journal...thanks Catie!)
Catie and Mark
My hair looks a mess and I'm just...sad
Someone please stop me..
So that's pretty much been my weekend...right now I'm at the radio station working the Nascar race...fun, let me tell you. I've been studying for my Spanish final on Wednesday. When get back to the dorms, the studying for the Biology final starts again.
Next week I go home and work I Barnes and Noble (yay), and hang out with some old friends (yay).
I hate Nascar.
Hmmm...I think I need to do another list... Things I have learned this past week (and during this summer):
1) If someone from an Internet dating site e-mails you ten times in one day, it's time to BLOCK them.
2) If you pay $45 dollars to lose weight, you better damn well stick with it!
3) I'm now called 'Paper Fag' by friends from Douglas.
4) Why is EVERYONE in Douglas a Bush supporter? Well expect for those faithful few...
5) Don't ever do summer school again...
6) Don't inflict more stress on yourself than you already have.
7) Good friends are hard to come by.
8) I want my own radio show DAMN IT!
9) I need more money.
10) I turn 19 on the 22nd of this month.
11) I wish I weren't so numb to people.
12) Being alone sucks.
13) Don't ever do summer school again.
14) John Kerry rocks!
15) Anyone who tells me I can't compare the gay rights movement to the African-American civil rights movement can KISS MY ASS!!! Thank you very much!
16) I wish I had a better memory.
17) I don't like FOX News, CNN is better.
18) Don't ever do summer school again.
19) I hope is a good time to be alive this year.
20) I'm hungry and tired.
Until next time my doggies...or something....yeah...
In other news..the newspaper is looking really good. It seems as if my creative side is finally opening up - I'm able to come up with some great layouts for the newspaper. I'm excited for the paper to come and see what everyone thinks about it. I love the front page of the paper, I think it's so cool. I have my eye on some new Freshman who I think would fit well with the rest of the newspaper staff. The first two weeks of school I'm going to go on a major recruiting hunt to scoop up the talented, committed new people for the newspaper staff.
I've had the pleasure if hanging out with some local folks from school this weekend. Friday I went to Valdosta with Jeff and we saw 'The Village.' I thought the movie was awesome - the ending was like, wow, I can't believe it... I then came back, looked at some Biology notes, took a nap, then went to dinner with Catie, Sam, and Pete. That was fun, just chilling out with people at dinner and talking about nothing in particular, just hanging. I don't get many moments like that...I'm always running to and fro, or trying to get a few minutes of sleep in. I took the three of them to the dorms so they could see the horror that is college dorms. They were all horrified at the jail like quality of the dorms - but to me it's become home. But that might explain why I spend most of my time in the newspaper office rather than my room. Here's a look at a picture Catie took with her camera phone...
Then I rode around with Catie and Sam...they took me to Coffee High, where they graduated from high school. I have to say, it put Roswell High to shame. I always thought we had a nice spread out school, but there high school is huge. But then again all of Coffee County goes there so they have to have a pretty big school. They rolled down the big hills at the school, I didn't roll. I didn't want to get dirty. (I know, I'm sad)
So that was that...yesterday I worked on the newspaper and was really happy so I went to Subway to treat myself. I ran into Catie and Mark there. I was leaving and they were coming so I decided to just stay and sit with them while they ate. It was fun just to sit and laugh, and that we did. Here are some photos that Catie took at Subway (I'm stealing them all from her live journal...thanks Catie!)
Catie and Mark
My hair looks a mess and I'm just...sad
Someone please stop me..
So that's pretty much been my weekend...right now I'm at the radio station working the Nascar race...fun, let me tell you. I've been studying for my Spanish final on Wednesday. When get back to the dorms, the studying for the Biology final starts again.
Next week I go home and work I Barnes and Noble (yay), and hang out with some old friends (yay).
I hate Nascar.
Hmmm...I think I need to do another list... Things I have learned this past week (and during this summer):
1) If someone from an Internet dating site e-mails you ten times in one day, it's time to BLOCK them.
2) If you pay $45 dollars to lose weight, you better damn well stick with it!
3) I'm now called 'Paper Fag' by friends from Douglas.
4) Why is EVERYONE in Douglas a Bush supporter? Well expect for those faithful few...
5) Don't ever do summer school again...
6) Don't inflict more stress on yourself than you already have.
7) Good friends are hard to come by.
8) I want my own radio show DAMN IT!
9) I need more money.
10) I turn 19 on the 22nd of this month.
11) I wish I weren't so numb to people.
12) Being alone sucks.
13) Don't ever do summer school again.
14) John Kerry rocks!
15) Anyone who tells me I can't compare the gay rights movement to the African-American civil rights movement can KISS MY ASS!!! Thank you very much!
16) I wish I had a better memory.
17) I don't like FOX News, CNN is better.
18) Don't ever do summer school again.
19) I hope is a good time to be alive this year.
20) I'm hungry and tired.
Until next time my doggies...or something....yeah...