As usual, I have bounced back. Life should never hold you back. People should never hold you back. Always take time to grieive, but not for too long. Of course everyone want to sit and mope for a while, but it can’t be done for too long. If you mope for too long, those emotions can turn into depression – and no one likes a depressed person, right? With this in mind, I have continued on with my life journey. This is not the end of the world. Although Joseph is a wonderful human being (and this is me being really candid here), he is not the end of the world. I’m not the end of world. NO ONE is the end of the world. I don’t care how long you have been with someone, but they should never be the end all be all in life. There are billions of people on earth, there are others. I’m sorry that I won’t get to share in the wonderfulness that would have been, but like I always say, “Everything happens for a reason.”

Alright. I’m sitting in the library right now. This is my first time in here. I’m a bit scared, but I’ll be fine. This is WAY bigger than the SGC library. There are actually five floors (I think) to the library. I’m on the fourth floor. I have a test in Rhetoric of Social Movements tomorrow. A little worried? You bet. I’m I stressing? A little. But I’m not letting this get to me. Like I mentioned in a previous post, the Professor in this class said that we won’t remember half the material we learned in the class, but it is the skills that we will take away. That is the mindset that I’m taking with these classes and tests. I am no longer going to stress myself out to the point of utter exhaustion just to make a high grade on a test. I will study hard, do my best, and move on. Being stressed out is not fun. That’s how I missed my graduation—by stressing and worrying. No more. The same people who strolled into class everyday at SGC and talked about their weekends on the dirt road and how they got so messed up they weren’t even able to walk straight graduated with me. Now of course I realize that these people probably graduated with a less than stellar grade point average, but, they graduated. I will do my best, have fun, and work hard. NO MAJOR STRESSING. I need to post this on my bedroom door or something. I’ve made so many proclamations on this blog, but I want to follow through on this one. NO MAJOR STRESSING.

Thursday I had lunch with Edgar and Brandon. It was nice to meet up with old SGC folks and compare our time here at GSU to our alma mater. I had a blast this weekend. Even though I should have been locked up the entire time studying, I actually went out and had some fun. Friday afternoon I went with Luke and Adam to a Mexican restaurant here in town. They got sloshed, I told part of my life story, fun was had. (SIDENOTE: Wow, since I’ve been here in the library, I’ve seen two folks from Roswell high here, good to know we took those study habits from high school to college. Ha) We went to Office max where I bought a new office chair for my office in the apartment. (1 YAY for spending money on a chair) I’m not saying how much the chair cost. ;) After all of that, I went home, cleaned up my office for my chair, studied, and went to bed. Such an exciting Friday night, I know. Saturday was a blast. Adam, Luke and I went to Savannah for some good ole’ queer shopping. We went to the Savannah where I bolted like any proud gay man would to Express. I was planning on buying a shirt or cheap pair of pants. WELL, I ended up walking out with two pair of pants, two shirts, and two belts. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you look at the bill. WOW. (5 YAYs for spending lot’s of money on cool clothes) Oh, and I ended up with an Express credit card. Damn them. Oh, and I also met up with Phillip P—he’s a guy I met last spring at the S.A.C.’s meeting. He’s the SGA President at Armstrong. We may hang out at some point. Cool guy. Oh, and I got Luke to buy a pair of pants and a shirt from Express. (3 YAYs for helping straight guys look better. Maybe they should make a slot for me on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?) Adam ended up buying a pair of shoes that I own. (I will chop his knee caps off for trying to be like me. heehaw) After all was said and done with clothes, we headed over to the Macaroni Grill for some good Italian food. Of course I had chicken parmesan. Is there anything else to eat at an Italian restaurant, well besides pizza? After that, we went to the a water fountain and took pictures there. That’s where the picture down there came from. I need to get the others and post them. Luke and Adam made a stop at the liquor store for some refreshments. (0 YAYs for being underage and not a drinker.) After we got back, I took some clothes over to Luke’s and got some much needed laundry done. Bless his soul. Sunday was fairly uneventful. Woke up. Studied. Went to dj meeting for the radio station. Studied some more. Went to sleep. Now it’s Monday. Another week.

Well, five John Mayer songs later, I have reached the end. I have no more in me. Well I do, but we have to safe some for the private journal. Ha.

Off to study away the night.

Good day!

**Make that THREE RHS folks I’ve seen here in the library. Would this classify as a reunion?

This past weekend in Savannah. Adam, Luke and I went on a little adventure in shopping! I'll post about it this week.
 

Ashley (off to the side), Catie and myself a couple of weeks ago when I went to Douglas. Fun times were had with my hair! =) 

When my head looked REALLY big. 

A couple of weeks ago when Kelly came down to the 'boro' for a visit she took a bunch of pics. I don't have the nerve yet to post the other pics, but here is one with Kori and I being the proud minorities we are.
 

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Well folks, this song has been sung many a times in this blog. It never gets easier. It never hurts less. It never feels right. But I will say that my heart doesn’t feel like it’s been ripped out, just slightly put into a different position. I guess Freddy was right, karma did come back to bite me in the ass. And that shit hurts.

There will be no Joseph and Miguel. We talked tonight. There was a misunderstanding on my part from an online journal post. But that provoked a talk. The distance is too much he says. I see. I don’t agree, but I see. I don’t want to sound bitter; I don’t want to sound angry. I just don’t want the pain to stay. I don’t want it to linger. I pray that when I wake, I will be normal, whole.

I can’t keep doing this. I can’t allow myself to fall for people that aren’t available. I can’t. Earlier today I went back in time and read some of my first posts. Luke was the subject. I was new to this dating thing and like everything else I do in life, I jumped in head first. In a couple of week’s time I was justifying his pot smoking. After that I was justifying the fact that when ever we were together, we would have ‘intimate’ moments, and then he would leave and have stuff to do.

Last fall, there were two people who came into my life and turned it upside down. I had never felt such emotions like I did last fall. It hurt. I understood the feeling of a crushed heart. I got over it, after a long time. Not until this summer actually. And the uphill battle starts again.

Like everything in my life, I take the bad, and turn it into good. Some see it as me not dealing with issues, but I just see it as being recklessly optimist. I need to go back there. Being happy, optimistic. You know what? I don’t need someone to make me happy. I don’t. I have me. I have God. I have my friends. I have life. That’s enough to be thankful for. It’s time to turn the tides and focus on something else. Men are not the answer. They are human beings, and human’s beings make other humans beings hurt.

I haven’t lamented enough, but I’m afraid I will continue to repeat myself.

Goodnight.

I finally figured out how to get pictures off my cell phone. Some of these pictures are all the way from last spring when I first bought my phone.

Oh, and speaking of my cell phone, I lost it today. I left it on one of the transit buses they here at GSU. I guess Edgar called my phone and the guy who picked it up answered. Any who, I got my phone back! Yay.

Too much homework and studying to do for a real post.

Good day!

I'm just weird like that. This is from like the first night I had my phone. 

Last Friday at the moped place with Luke.  

I love the pictures of people when they aren't looking. This is the last time Joseph and I had another late dinner at Waffle House. He ate my food.  

When Jake and Kyle came to visit me in Statesboro a couple of weeks ago. Of course Kyle is always on the ground. 

A pic from when I was in New York. The last night I went to the movies by myself to unwind (loser), but they had this huge rainbow flag hanging up. I thought it was awesome, and so New York. 

Gotta love Southern food. It's Southern Good. 

I was going somewhere. Not sure where. 

One night when I was CLEANING the kids section at Barnes & Noble, some of the kids had put that up. I thought it was so cute. But I had to clean it up. =( 

Jessica doing her impression of Resse Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. lol 

This is in Atlanta by my house. Ghetto. 

Should I do my hair like that again? 

Samantha being fab at the sandwhich shop! 

Jake being Jake after Butler's African-American History class last Spring. 

I forgot who brought those in, but I just LOVED those glasses. 

Kyle in my old office the night I was clearing it out. =( 

The difference between Atlanta cars and South Georgia cars. 

Edgar, back in the day when he had long hair. 

When I was a board op at WDMG 97.5 The Big Dog. 

Catie and I after a meeting probably.