Ah, the new smell of pain. Isn’t it wonderful? I love it quite frankly. I always seem to go out and hunt for it. Why? Because in some twisted way, the pain reminds me that I actually have feelings inside. I’m not as numb as I think I am. The same pattern, again, and again. Gosh, it’s SO funny the way our mind works. The way it justifies the things we do. I love it. The interesting thing to me is how quickly the emotions inside can change. One minute this wonderful joy and elation – can you imagine it? This wonderful spirit moving through your body throughout the day – walking around with a smile on your face, nothing can bring you down. But it does. Of course it does, it always does. Then the pain comes, the uncompromising, unflinching, unnerving pain. Why won’t it stop? GOD. Sometimes it would feel better to just go and sit inside a well and sleep – hearing the world go about its normal day while you sit and listen, waiting. Just once to have what I have dreamed about. Just once to have what I thought about. Just once to have what is so right. Am I destined to live like this forever? I hope not. God, I hope not.
ALRIGHT. Wow. Wonderful, wonderful. A recap of past events:
-Went to a GSU football game Saturday. Yes. I went to a football game. But I left at halftime. Adam, Luke, and Virgil had to tell me what was going on through out the game. I had no clue. Sad. But I will go to a few more games….Kori and I hosted a tailgating party at our little apartment before the game. It was nice. Luke and I walked over to the tailgating area to see Kelly and her GSU alumni all decked out in blue and eagle paraphernalia.
-Friday – Luke, Adam, and I went to Savannah to pick up Luke’s new moped. It was all fun and games until Luke actually bought the moped and had to put it in his jeep. Where was Miguel going sit? Ha. Well, I had to sit in Adam’s lap the whole time. I have some pics of me in the back of the jeep with the moped. Scary. But we went and ate at some place in Savannah. Burgers of course. I don’t know what they had in those burgers, but they were good. So good in fact that they had me running to the little men’s room all weekend. Thankssomuch burger place in Savannah.
-Oh, and I’m a new edition to 91.9 The Buzz, Georgia Southern’s 10 in a row station. I’m an on air talent. YAY for being a dj.
-Thank God for writing as a relaxing mechanism.
Sleep time has pounced again.
Good day!
