Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Right now I’m in the air – I’m on my way back to Georgia from Kansas City, Missouri. The College Student Media Convention was fun. Learned a lot, met some new people, did some thinking—now it’s time to get back to the real world, sadly.
I think I need to leave the south. As much as I love southern hospitality, humidity, southern drawls, “bless his heart,” I-285, MARTA, my family, my roots, my friends and many other wonderful qualities, I am ready to leave. I don’t think I’m ready for New York or something like that, but I am ready to leave. Of course I know in the west and in the north racism and homophobia exists, but it’s not so in your face and present in everyday life. Maybe I’m lying to myself, but every person I’ve talked to from the north has said that racism is not an issue. People talk about it, people are racist, but people don’t walk around with confederate t-shirts like the civil war is about to start tomorrow. I’m tired of talking about race; I’m tired of defending why I want to study gay rights/history. A friend of mine said that he didn’t understand why gays were always complaining and whining about discrimination. He’s gay, but he doesn’t understand what the big deal is. I’m not sure if he was serious, but I’m sure there are plenty of people who think along those same lines. Or they may wonder why I usually will question someone who is in a frat and ask them about their frat and how they deal with blacks and gays. Guess what—I’m an African-American gay male. That’s my life. That’s my reality. I didn’t ask for it.
I’ve had bad things happen to me. People have called me faggot. I’ve had faggot written on my dorm door. My brother use to make fun of my effeminate characteristics. I didn’t like sports—I was the last person picked for a team in gym class. I’ve had rocks thrown at me. I’ve lost friends. I will probably live a lonely life. I live in fear that one day I won’t get a job. I live in fear that one day my family will disown me when they learn the truth. I can’t get close to people. I won’t let my wall down.—all of this stems from the fact that I am gay. Those were the cards given to me by someone and I do the best fucking job I can to make life as happy as I can.
I want to know where I come from; I want to know about the culture and title that has been placed on my shoulders as a homosexual male. The next time someone says, “Gosh Miguel, you are always talking about gay stuff” or “Why are all the papers you write about deal with gay issues,” they will just have to understand that I am a gay man. Just because they may feel uncomfortable with who I am doesn’t mean I should silence who I am. I am tired. I had to live most of my life hiding who I am, I sure as hell am not about to go back and not talk about it.
My heart hurts and I don’t know why.
Well, we are approaching the Savannah airport, it’s time for me to pack up my crap and get off the plane. Back to the grind.
Good day!
I think I need to leave the south. As much as I love southern hospitality, humidity, southern drawls, “bless his heart,” I-285, MARTA, my family, my roots, my friends and many other wonderful qualities, I am ready to leave. I don’t think I’m ready for New York or something like that, but I am ready to leave. Of course I know in the west and in the north racism and homophobia exists, but it’s not so in your face and present in everyday life. Maybe I’m lying to myself, but every person I’ve talked to from the north has said that racism is not an issue. People talk about it, people are racist, but people don’t walk around with confederate t-shirts like the civil war is about to start tomorrow. I’m tired of talking about race; I’m tired of defending why I want to study gay rights/history. A friend of mine said that he didn’t understand why gays were always complaining and whining about discrimination. He’s gay, but he doesn’t understand what the big deal is. I’m not sure if he was serious, but I’m sure there are plenty of people who think along those same lines. Or they may wonder why I usually will question someone who is in a frat and ask them about their frat and how they deal with blacks and gays. Guess what—I’m an African-American gay male. That’s my life. That’s my reality. I didn’t ask for it.
I’ve had bad things happen to me. People have called me faggot. I’ve had faggot written on my dorm door. My brother use to make fun of my effeminate characteristics. I didn’t like sports—I was the last person picked for a team in gym class. I’ve had rocks thrown at me. I’ve lost friends. I will probably live a lonely life. I live in fear that one day I won’t get a job. I live in fear that one day my family will disown me when they learn the truth. I can’t get close to people. I won’t let my wall down.—all of this stems from the fact that I am gay. Those were the cards given to me by someone and I do the best fucking job I can to make life as happy as I can.
I want to know where I come from; I want to know about the culture and title that has been placed on my shoulders as a homosexual male. The next time someone says, “Gosh Miguel, you are always talking about gay stuff” or “Why are all the papers you write about deal with gay issues,” they will just have to understand that I am a gay man. Just because they may feel uncomfortable with who I am doesn’t mean I should silence who I am. I am tired. I had to live most of my life hiding who I am, I sure as hell am not about to go back and not talk about it.
My heart hurts and I don’t know why.
Well, we are approaching the Savannah airport, it’s time for me to pack up my crap and get off the plane. Back to the grind.
Good day!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Alright, two major ‘things’ went down today in Kansas City. One good, one bad. Thankfully, since the good ‘thing’ has happened, I have been able to keep my cool, for now. I guess I shall start with the bad news first.
I lost my iPod.
Yes, I LOST my iPod. My baby. It’s gone. Someone has it. It’s lost and cold. I know it misses me. I am very sad. All of my songs…gone.
Gone.
BUT, all is not lost. All of my songs are on my laptop with iTunes, so I just need a new iPod to play all of my songs. Ya know?
SO, for the good news…
I saw “Rent” tonight. Yes ladies and gentleman, I saw the wonderful Broadway musical turned movie a whole month before it is set for release to the public. The movie company came to Kansas City and decided that college journalists should be the first audience to see “Rent.” It was FANTASTIC! The director Christopher Columbus wonderfully captured the essence of the musical. The songs were AWESOME. The transitions at time needed a little work, but overall, A+ from me.
**Side note: I’m sitting in the lobby of the hotel, I just saw Bert go up the escalator with two random girls…is he getting play tonight?! That little dog!**
Ok, now I’m just looking at all the people in the lobby, it’s so fun. I love conventions like this. It’s so fun to watch all the people.
I’m out.
Good day!
I lost my iPod.
Yes, I LOST my iPod. My baby. It’s gone. Someone has it. It’s lost and cold. I know it misses me. I am very sad. All of my songs…gone.
Gone.
BUT, all is not lost. All of my songs are on my laptop with iTunes, so I just need a new iPod to play all of my songs. Ya know?
SO, for the good news…
I saw “Rent” tonight. Yes ladies and gentleman, I saw the wonderful Broadway musical turned movie a whole month before it is set for release to the public. The movie company came to Kansas City and decided that college journalists should be the first audience to see “Rent.” It was FANTASTIC! The director Christopher Columbus wonderfully captured the essence of the musical. The songs were AWESOME. The transitions at time needed a little work, but overall, A+ from me.
**Side note: I’m sitting in the lobby of the hotel, I just saw Bert go up the escalator with two random girls…is he getting play tonight?! That little dog!**
Ok, now I’m just looking at all the people in the lobby, it’s so fun. I love conventions like this. It’s so fun to watch all the people.
I’m out.
Good day!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wow. It's been a while. I just haven't been in the mood to write. I'm not really in the mood right now, but I though it was only necessary.
I'm in Kansas City, Missouri right now. I'm at the College Student Media Convention. I'll be going to newspaper and radio sessions for the next few days. We left this morning (Wednesday) at 4:30 a.m. from Statesboro and drove to the Savannah airport. Took off from there and landed over in Houston, from there, came over to Kansas City. The city looks a bit old, I don't know, but Atlanta just seems to look new and big to me, maybe it's because I grew up there. Not sure. Any who, we will be here until Sunday and then back to the 'boro for more school work and newspaper fun! ;)
Alright, I need to get back up to the room, I'm being anti-social.
Good day!
I'm in Kansas City, Missouri right now. I'm at the College Student Media Convention. I'll be going to newspaper and radio sessions for the next few days. We left this morning (Wednesday) at 4:30 a.m. from Statesboro and drove to the Savannah airport. Took off from there and landed over in Houston, from there, came over to Kansas City. The city looks a bit old, I don't know, but Atlanta just seems to look new and big to me, maybe it's because I grew up there. Not sure. Any who, we will be here until Sunday and then back to the 'boro for more school work and newspaper fun! ;)
Alright, I need to get back up to the room, I'm being anti-social.
Good day!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
"Often I find myself wanting to be alone...
but my biggest fear
is that I will be." - http://postsecret.blogspot.com
but my biggest fear
is that I will be." - http://postsecret.blogspot.com
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I’m at the newspaper office right now. We have just finished laying out the newspaper for tomorrow. You should go check it out. (http://www.stp.georgiasouthern.edu). I have no internet at the apartment. Damn place. I need to check up on that tomorrow.
I’m still eating like a whale.
I’m still wondering about life.
I’m still thinking about whether or not I should have that cheese burger.
I hate not having internet at home, it makes me sad, but then it makes me sleep also.
I’m going to Rachael’s wedding Saturday. I’m sure I’ll cry. I’m so happy for her, but yet so sad for myself. Meh. It’s late, my brain is dead and I want to sleep. My thoughts are nonsensical. WTF?
On 91.9 The Buzz, I’ve been moved from Saturday and Sunday nights to Tuesday and Thursday nights. A nice step up. Thursday nights are the crazy party nights in Statesboro, which means I have to cater to that audience, WTF? I don’t party. I don’t drink. But I’ll find some interesting stuff to talk about. Starting next week you will be able to hear me on 91.9 The Buzz Tuesday and Thursday nights 7 p.m. until 11 p.m. (http://www.919thebuzz.com).
I had a very interesting conversation with Mike yesterday. We met for the first time last night. He came up to the newsroom while I was working on pages. We talking about being gay and Christian. INTERESTING talk. We will be hanging out again sometime soon.
Alright, Luke and Adam are calling me. Time to head home and get some sleep.
Goodnight.
I’m still eating like a whale.
I’m still wondering about life.
I’m still thinking about whether or not I should have that cheese burger.
I hate not having internet at home, it makes me sad, but then it makes me sleep also.
I’m going to Rachael’s wedding Saturday. I’m sure I’ll cry. I’m so happy for her, but yet so sad for myself. Meh. It’s late, my brain is dead and I want to sleep. My thoughts are nonsensical. WTF?
On 91.9 The Buzz, I’ve been moved from Saturday and Sunday nights to Tuesday and Thursday nights. A nice step up. Thursday nights are the crazy party nights in Statesboro, which means I have to cater to that audience, WTF? I don’t party. I don’t drink. But I’ll find some interesting stuff to talk about. Starting next week you will be able to hear me on 91.9 The Buzz Tuesday and Thursday nights 7 p.m. until 11 p.m. (http://www.919thebuzz.com).
I had a very interesting conversation with Mike yesterday. We met for the first time last night. He came up to the newsroom while I was working on pages. We talking about being gay and Christian. INTERESTING talk. We will be hanging out again sometime soon.
Alright, Luke and Adam are calling me. Time to head home and get some sleep.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I think I’ll try this format for a while. Make little entries during the day instead of the heaping long posts I do once a week. Those can be a bit much.
You know what? I love John Mayer. I don’t care what time it is, what I’m doing, but if I put in some John Mayer, life just seems okay. I’m listening to him right now as I type this. I’m sitting in the IT building’s computer lab. My Social Issues of Sport class got out early today. So now I’m checking e-mail and what not. The internet connection isn’t working at the house for some reason, so I wasn’t able to check e-mail last night. When I opened up my inbox this morning, I found 32 new messages waiting for me. Of course 50% of them were SPAM e-mails, but still. I think we all like seeing new messages from people.
Okay, so you know my post about food yesterday? WELL, I weighed myself yesterday….um. Yeah. HELP?! I’m going on a fast for a couple of days, and then it’s diet time. But not really diet, more like a lifestyle change. Things have got to change. I’m ballooning up and it’s not pretty. Sheesh.
Alright, my fingers are tired and it’s time to head off to class.
I found this on someone else’s blog and liked it. So I’m stealing it. Thankssomuch.
Good day!
I crave a relationship. I crave someone to send me flowers, because it’s Tuesday. I crave someone to call me right when I wake up just to see if I had a good night's rest. I crave someone to hold my hand when we walk around. I crave someone to hold me when I'm down. I crave someone to believe how special I am. I crave for someone to care for me in a more than friendly way. I want to be able to turn people down with the phrase, "sorry I already have someone who gives a damn." I crave someone to confide in me about their dreams and goals. I crave for someone to want to see me. I crave someone to kiss me oh so passionately on my lips. I crave to be able to hug someone when they're sad. I crave to be able to tell someone that I am so happy that they are mine. I just crave it. I even crave the drama and time and effort involved. I want it. I want it so bad. I almost think I need it right now.
You know what? I love John Mayer. I don’t care what time it is, what I’m doing, but if I put in some John Mayer, life just seems okay. I’m listening to him right now as I type this. I’m sitting in the IT building’s computer lab. My Social Issues of Sport class got out early today. So now I’m checking e-mail and what not. The internet connection isn’t working at the house for some reason, so I wasn’t able to check e-mail last night. When I opened up my inbox this morning, I found 32 new messages waiting for me. Of course 50% of them were SPAM e-mails, but still. I think we all like seeing new messages from people.
Okay, so you know my post about food yesterday? WELL, I weighed myself yesterday….um. Yeah. HELP?! I’m going on a fast for a couple of days, and then it’s diet time. But not really diet, more like a lifestyle change. Things have got to change. I’m ballooning up and it’s not pretty. Sheesh.
Alright, my fingers are tired and it’s time to head off to class.
I found this on someone else’s blog and liked it. So I’m stealing it. Thankssomuch.
Good day!
I crave a relationship. I crave someone to send me flowers, because it’s Tuesday. I crave someone to call me right when I wake up just to see if I had a good night's rest. I crave someone to hold my hand when we walk around. I crave someone to hold me when I'm down. I crave someone to believe how special I am. I crave for someone to care for me in a more than friendly way. I want to be able to turn people down with the phrase, "sorry I already have someone who gives a damn." I crave someone to confide in me about their dreams and goals. I crave for someone to want to see me. I crave someone to kiss me oh so passionately on my lips. I crave to be able to hug someone when they're sad. I crave to be able to tell someone that I am so happy that they are mine. I just crave it. I even crave the drama and time and effort involved. I want it. I want it so bad. I almost think I need it right now.
Monday, October 03, 2005
I have a problem. Well, better yet, I have an addiction. It's killing me. It's something I've been dealing with for most of my life. Recently, it's gotten to be too much. Food. Food. Damn good food. I think I have an addiction to food. I can't stop. It's so good. Wow. This is probably going to be a pointless post. I'm sitting in the library before my Video Production class. It's 6:30 p.m. until 7:45 p.m. Fun stuff. But for once I feel rested. On my laptop at home I have a post I started to write this weekend. I'll have to put it on here soon. Oh, and I have a new layout. It took me FOREVER to find it. Justin had to help though; I was having some issues with it earlier. But alas, it works.
I want pizza.
Good day.
I want pizza.
Good day.
