It hurts like hell. That’s the one of the messages I got from watching “Waiting to Exhale.” It’s a very good movie. I’ve had two relationships in my life. The first one last for two weeks. I lost all my morals and values and did more then I ever should have with that person. Two days after we had been intimate he broke up with me. My second relationship lasted for about a month. I had no connection with this person. We were just together. I know I’m on 17 but it hurts that it seems like nothing can work out when it comes to relationships. I just want someone to be there for me and to make life a little bit more bearable. I know the day struggles of life aren’t going to get easier; it would be nice to have someone by my side. Last night I went to my friend Paola’s birthday party. It was really fun, I really enjoyed myself. At the party there seemed to be quite a few couples there. It just stung me every time I saw them together. I just wonder if I’m compatible to be with anyone. My personality is so weird and off the wall, would I be able to be with someone. But you know what, does it really matter if I’m compatible with some one. As long as I’m happy with who I am it should be all right.

“You don’t feel worthy to have someone love you.” Hmmm, I should explore that quote. Valentine’s Day is Friday. Yay for some people. I’ll probably be so busy with stuff at school that I won’t even think about it. But you know what, I think in the end I think it’s friends who make like fun and bearable. When something is wrong with your spouse or something goes bad in life the first person you usually call is your best friend. It’s nice to have someone to hold you, but in the end, the friends are probably going to be there for you.