What the hell is going on? I don’t understand. Feelings are hard to understand. There is Michael; I’ve been talking to him for a while now. It seems like we have a connection. I’m just scared to start a relationship; I don’t anything else bad to happen. We seem like we connect, we actually can hold a conversation together. I can talk to him and he can talk to me, or so I hope. I just don’t want to rush into anything and regret it later. Him and I have never met in real life, we’ve only talked on the phone and the net. He seems like really cool person. We both laugh at the same stupid things and have perverted minds, well except for mine is like five times worse then his, but I don’t think he knows that. But there are a few things that are getting in my way of starting anything. First, I don’t want to rush, this is has happened to me two times already where I rushed into a relationship and after a day I regretted it. Second, will he like the way I look. I have SUCH low self-esteem about how I look. I think I look like a beast. Third, when it comes to relationships I get very emotional. I want someone who will be there, who will hold my hand, give me a hug, kiss me, and we can both trade off on paying for dinner. Fourth, I wonder if he will fit in with my friends. My friends are a big part of my life and I put a lot of stock into their thoughts. Fifth, is this what I really want? Am I just jumping into my emotions and wanting to get some, or do I want a serious long-term relationship? Sixth, I think there might be some other opportunities out there, as in other people. I want to explore all my options and make sure I make the right decision. Right now I’m feeling an intense liking for Michael, but I want to make sure it’s 100% emotion, not just physical. I think that’s all I’m thinking right now. I guess I’ll just sleep on it and hopefully after MUCH thought I will come to a conclusion.