Samantha B. had this on her livejournal, so I thought I would do it. Thanks.

Your Birthdate: August 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Today (or if you want to be technical, yesterday) was a very good day. Not just because I was surrounded by books!

The day started off as usual. Getting up, slumping over to B&N, and selling books. It wasn’t too bad, just a slow day. What made it bearable were the text messages I was getting from Joseph. I sent him one during lunch and we ended up sending text messages back and forth for the rest of the time I was at work. (Oh, and I should add, I had lunch with Mrs. Pete Brown! It was so cool to see her up here in Atlanta. Her son was taking the bar exam – poor him.) I asked Joseph if he wanted to do something later that night. His schedule was clear, so we decided to meet a little later and hangout. I got in my little red car and went home to wash off the smell of books (is there such a smell?). I then hopped – well not really hop since it is Atlanta traffic – up to Roswell. We met at my old middle school, Crabapple, and decided on Starbucks. We arrived to the wonderful place of all things coffee around 8:00pm and didn’t leave until 10:30pm or so. We had a nice conversation. Learning about each other and what we have been through. He’s a very interesting person. During our conversation I saw and talked to Angela C. and Wendy C.. It was good to see those two crazy girls again. Such fun times we had in yearbook senior year. Any who, so Joseph and I talked, and talked. I loved it. He had to go, and I needed to start my trek back down towards my house, so we departed ways but not before we hugged.

Now I’m sitting on my bed thinking about how I should have written about the New York trip while I was there because I don’t feel like writing everything out and I don’t remember everything. Oh! oh! I can do a list! Don’t you just love them? I don’t care, I do.

Things I remember from my New York trip:
-Frier, Freddy and I went to the Museum of Sex. Fun times. (They had porn)
-We all dropped Pepijn off at the airport so he could go home. (Poor Propane)
-The hotel room had a freaky sound too it.
-Ground Zero was very peaceful and quiet, well quiet for New York.
-Central Park rocks my socks off.
-The MET is nice, but the food in there is too damn expensive.
-I DIDN’T GET TO SEE WICKED AND THAT MAKES ME SO MAD I WANT TO STOMP ON THE GROUND WITH MY LEFT FOOT, damnit.
-Times Square used to be a seedy place full of peepshows, now it’s like Disney World on crack.
-Food is too damn expensive there.
-The CNN studios in NYC were f-ing awesome! I got to see the set for Newsnight and Lou Dobbs.
-Frier and I talked A LOT about any and everything. A lot of self-discovery was done.
-I will admit, I went to the movies by myself the last night and it was great! Especially when I saw the giant rainbow flag in the lobby.
-EVERYONE had an Ipod in New York.
-Greenwich Village is the shit.
-It was sad to leave, but I was happy to come back home.
-I think I might want to live there one day.

That’s it for me peeps. (Who the hell says peeps?!)

Good day!

Me standing in front of the theatre where Wicked is playing - too bad I DIDN'T get to see it. =( 

She wanted my number. 

Frier sitting. 

Another pic of me inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art 

Frier sitting in Central Park. 

Me sitting in Central Park.  

Ground Zero is in the background.  

(You can see my man boobs - ewww! lol) We are standing near ground zero. 

This is when Pepijn was leaving to go back home. Poor Propane. =( 

Frier and Pepijn being cute in the hotel loby 

Pepijn, myself, and Freddy in the hotel lobby. 

Pepjin and I standing in front of our hotel 

Read the post further down below for details of the first night in NYC. This is Pepjin and I after being homeless in New York for a few hours. 

World famous Carnegie resturant. We had lunch there. $10 for a hamburger - with no fries! 

Wednesday afternoon, we toured the UN building.  

Wednesday afternoon. Me standing in front a sex toys machine. How fun. 

Wednesday night, we went to see the musical "The Producers." It was really good. This is Frier and myself standing outside the theatre. 

The morning Pepjin left. We had breakfast in the room. Awww, so sad to see Propane go. 

Day 1 - Adventure in New York

Well, we are here. What a night it has been. So, our flight was delayed three hours and then we spent one hour (which I slept through) on the plane, waiting for take off. The three hours spent in the airport weren?t that bad, but, wow, wait until I get to the good part. Oh, maybe I should start at the beginning. Frier called and woke me up around 9:30am. She was on her way to pick up Pepijn from Ashley?s house in Douglas, and they were on there way up to Atlanta. So I got dressed, ran a few errands, and before I knew it, they were there. My mother drove Frier?s van to the airport with me, Frier, Pepijn, and my Grandmother in tow. Fun times. So, speed up to Frier, Pepijn and I on the plane taking off. The flight was okay. Pepijn and I talked, laughed, played a little hangman. It was cool. SO, we get to the Newark, New Jersey airport. We are all a little tired from the trip, especially Frier from all the driving she had to do. We got a taxi to our hotel, well, I should say motel. The taxi driver was cool, a little talkative. But the city was amazing. The smell, the people, the buildings, the cars, the streets - everything just seems different. But then again, it could just be the jet lag affecting me. ANYWHO, I take all the luggage out of the taxi while Frier and Pepijn go inside the hotel to check us in. Ten minutes later Frier and Pepijn walk outside of the hotel with horrorstruck look on their faces. Frier comes up to me and says, ?Miguel, the room is small, it?s horrible.? I?m thinking to myself, it can?t be THAT bad. HA! I walk into the room; it?s the size of my old newspaper office, if smaller. It has one bed, no a/c, and THERE ARE PUBLIC RESTROOMS AND SHOWERS - NO PRIVATE BATHROOM OR SHOWER PEOPLE. This means we would be showering with God knows who else. My God. So, we put our luggage in the room, and walk out the hotel to regroup. Frier immediately jumps on her cell phone and starts to call people to see if we can find another hotel to stay in. Keep in mind, the time is now probably midnight. Frier ends up calling Phillip R. so he can check online and see if there are any hotels near. There aren?t. So we walk, and sit on these benches on 92nd Street and Broadway. We probably sat there for about an hour and a half while Frier and Pepijn talked to people to see if we could get a place. We walked to McDonalds where I had a raunchy double cheeseburger (did you know they can?t add mustard to burgers here?!) and stale French fries. Finally Phillip found us a hotel in Chelsea. That?s where we are now, and this is where Frier and I will remain for the remainder of the week. Help us lord. Well, my fingers are tired and it?s 4:18 in the morning. Time for bed. GOODNIGHT!
 

I’m on a plane. A plane to New York. How fun. The past few weeks have been very eventful, but not to exciting. Let’s see…

-Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is probably one of the best books I’ve read this year. I really enjoyed Christopher Rice’s new book, but Harry Potter was really good. I loved it. Hmm…I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so I’ll just say that I had to wipe a few tears away by the end of the book. We had a Harry Potter midnight magic party. I loved it. I should host my own party next time.

-I have an apartment! Last Thursday Kori and I went to Statesboro to check out where we could possibly live. The first two places we went were sold out. They didn’t have two bedroom apartments, only four bedrooms. We had the option of rooming in a four bedroom with two other people we didn’t know. Nope, didn’t want to do it. We found this cute little apartment complex called College Walk. The lady showed us their model apartment at first. It was okay, just, not what we were looking for. So she took us to the one unit that was (in Kori’s words) “pimped out” by the previous manger of the complex. He took money from the apartments and had this one unit redone. When the big bosses found out what he was doing, he was let go, of course. So, Kori and I have a really nice place to live! =)

-I’m on the plane right now as I type this, but I’m sure by the time I post this, I’ll be all settled into the hotel we are staying. I think it’s somewhere near central park.

-Let’s see…I can’t really think og anything else. So, happy traveling!

Good day!

Does any one else want to throw up at all the sex on the new 'Real World: Austin'? Like I've mentioned before, what the hell happened to actually learning about different types of people and different perspectives? All I've learned about so far on this Real World season is:
-How not to argue about the war in Iraq (actually make a point when you're arguing about the uselessness of the war in Iraq)
-How not to get drunk (and then make out with a friend when you are dating someone else)
-How not to get drunk and get into a fight in the middle of the street (duh)
-How not to prance around in my underwear in front of complete strangers, and everyone in the United States of America, and possibly the world.

I?m sure I could go on, but there are other thoughts swirling around my mind and since I have the memory of a 70 year old, I need to get everything down on here before I forget.

Yesterday at work I had a very interesting conversation about high school with Kelly and Adam. (Adam being the person who tormented me through out middle school and the early part of high school, but then we became friends after he did something really bad to me. Go figure.) Any who, Adam was explaining to Kelly that he peaked at the beginning of high school and just went down hill from there. Whereas I had two pretty forgettable first years of high school, but then I peaked at the end of high school, which is usually how it's supposed to work. The conversation took a different route when we started talking about people and our personalities. All throughout middle school and high school, I had these people that I hated. The people who were the embodiment of what I wanted to be: Athletic, cute, wealthy, white, accepted, well adjusted, social, blah blah. I felt like the ugly dumb duckling in a pond full of beautiful swans. It all started when I first arrived at Crabapple middle school in the 7th grade. When I lived in Denver, all of my friends and I were poor. We all knew it, and we had fun. It didn?t matter how much money your family had because no one had anything. We all struggled together and made the best of what we had. When I moved to Atlanta and went up to school in Roswell, I was surrounded by people who had everything we didn?t back in Denver. The kids looked like they were off of a TV show or something. (This WAS middle school, so they weren?t exactly 90210 look-a likes) But I was taken aback at how different this new world was from the one I had just left. I quickly saw, in my mind, how the school was divided. The jocks, the nerds, the preps, etc. I even went so far as to label people?s pictures in my 7th grade yearbook. Like all future crazy people, I began to feel an extreme dislike for the people who had everything I didn't - which ended up being 90% of the school. Basically, I have held this resentment for all these people who never did a thing to me. Some of them, the alpha males, made snide remarks to me in middle school and what not, but that stuff should have been in the past a long time ago. I've had this hatred for people that probably never wasted an ounce of breath on me and never knew that I was raging a secret war against them. Maybe Phillip R. was right, maybe I do make myself the victim in life to overcome obstacles. So what's the point of all of this? I think I want to finally let go of my feelings of inferiority to all of these people. I get way too hung up on what people think about me. I?m so passive aggressive that it?s finally starting to affect me. I keep so much in, but I don?t mean to. I live in my head. I want to finally open up and be myself around everyone. Sometimes I think that when I die, like wayyy in the future, they will say that I loved life, but was always a bit uncomfortable in my own skin and was never well adjusted. But is anyone well adjusted? What is well adjusted? Hell if I know.

There's no way to properly end this entry. I have more that I want to say, but I want to think about it more. Think.

Analyze. Sometimes I do more of that than is actually necessary.

Good day.

I found this picture on mogenic.com. The link to the article that goes with the picture is: http://www.mogenic.com/article.asp?article_id=143 

This week started out with a bunch of crap. You know the kind of crap that just makes you bend over in pain? Eh.

Well, Thursday night, I went online to check my checking account. I knew I didn’t have any money – I figured by balance would be something like $1.25 or some ridiculous low number. Since it was Thursday night, it was only a matter of hours before my pay check from Barnes & Noble was deposited into my checking account. Well, when I opened the account, the balance was -193.58. Yeah. I almost started crying. How the hell did it get like that? Obviously I am not an accounting major, nor can I do any type of math. But this was just retarded. I retraced my steps and saw my error(s). I simply spent what wasn’t there with my handy check card. Thank you plastic. By 12:30am, Friday morning, my little pay check was deposited into my account. ALL of it was swallowed up. I still have a little negative left to pay off. Basically, I am poor. When I saw that all of my money that I had worked so hard for had just vanished like that, I felt sick. No more of that. No more frivolous spending. Especially now that I will be living off campus, in my OWN APARTMENT, with a roommate, of course.

Kori, a friend of mine from high school, and I will be rooming together this year at Georgia Southern. We are going to Statesboro Thursday to look at apartments and make a decision. I’m SUPER excited. This will truly be the first time that I am on my own, in my own place. Granted, I will probably be sleeping on an air mattress for a while, but still, it will be my place, paid for with my money. It’s funny how life works out like that. When Kori and I were in the 10th grade, we had the idea to run together for Junior Class Presidents of Student Council. We wanted to plan Prom and be the talk of RHS. Well, we lost. But never did I think back then that one day I would be living with Kori!

The story of the week goes to a friend of mine who is in love with cars. He recently went to Miami Beach for a vacation. While he was there, he fell in love. Here is his tale, written to me during an instant messaging session (notice my exhaustive use of the exclamation point during the conversation – someone needs to stop me with that thing. Oh, and this friend’s identify is being held hostage):

ton1025 (11:32:49 PM): I fell in love with a Latin man in one night
ton1025 (11:32:51 PM): lol
Miguel6674 (11:33:18 PM): Oh my!
Miguel6674 (11:33:22 PM): What happened?
ton1025 (11:33:24 PM): lol
Miguel6674 (11:33:28 PM): Did you two do the nasty?!
Miguel6674 (11:33:34 PM): You little ho!
ton1025 (11:33:43 PM): well I had been drinking all day at a food bar called the Palace
ton1025 (11:33:54 PM): gay owned and operated blah blah.. cool place
Miguel6674 (11:34:05 PM): ok
ton1025 (11:34:29 PM): I got there at 5 pm
ton1025 (11:34:35 PM): left at maybe 10pm
ton1025 (11:34:55 PM): I’m walking back to my hotel which is 2 streets over, but somehow manage to get lost
Miguel6674 (11:35:18 PM): lol
ton1025 (11:35:19 PM): and its night time
ton1025 (11:35:42 PM): a really cute Latino guy rides by on a bike and smiles at me and says hi.. I say hi..
ton1025 (11:35:50 PM): he keeps going on his way, and me on mine
Miguel6674 (11:36:02 PM): OMG - I already love it
ton1025 (11:36:22 PM): The hurricane got really bad
ton1025 (11:36:29 PM): I was soaking wet from all the rain and wind
ton1025 (11:36:31 PM): lost
ton1025 (11:36:37 PM): getting kind of scared
ton1025 (11:36:49 PM): about 10 minutes after initially saying hi, the guy on a bike comes back
ton1025 (11:37:13 PM): he told me to come with him to get out of the rain, so we get under the doorway of the convention center
ton1025 (11:37:20 PM): its raining like crazy
Miguel6674 (11:37:32 PM): OMG
ton1025 (11:37:33 PM): and his name is Henry. he's from Columbia (the country)...
Miguel6674 (11:37:37 PM): nice
ton1025 (11:37:55 PM): and.. he is just
ton1025 (11:37:57 PM): gorgeous
Miguel6674 (11:38:04 PM): I'm already jealous
ton1025 (11:38:08 PM): very beautiful, very mysterious
ton1025 (11:38:15 PM): perfect body, etc
ton1025 (11:38:45 PM): so one thing led to another and we end up making out in the rain in the middle of the hurricane at night with cars driving by
Miguel6674 (11:39:12 PM): fnsdklfhdsl
Miguel6674 (11:39:16 PM): wow
ton1025 (11:39:28 PM): eventually he tells me to follow him, me on foot, him on bike, rain pounding us
ton1025 (11:39:37 PM): he has an apartment 1 block away
ton1025 (11:39:45 PM): so by the time we get there, we are soaked to the core
Miguel6674 (11:39:58 PM): ok
ton1025 (11:40:12 PM): he has a roommate
ton1025 (11:40:14 PM): named Leonardo
ton1025 (11:40:25 PM): another VERY hot Latino
ton1025 (11:40:48 PM): so we go into his room, and he gave me a big t-shirt and a towel to put on to get dry..
Miguel6674 (11:41:11 PM): xc,lzcl
ton1025 (11:41:12 PM): and I come out and talk to him and his roommate
ton1025 (11:41:32 PM): they were having pizza from a local restaurant called Pizza Rustica
ton1025 (11:42:02 PM): and they were so sweet, they had a chair pulled up for me
ton1025 (11:42:03 PM): =)
ton1025 (11:42:23 PM): we talked for about 2 hours, the 3 of us.. they are both very smart, well educated, and sweet
ton1025 (11:43:03 PM): it turns out that Henry, the one on the bike that rescued me from the storm actually works at the Palace, where I drank all day
ton1025 (11:43:04 PM): lol
ton1025 (11:43:06 PM): small world
Miguel6674 (11:43:18 PM): Nice
Miguel6674 (11:43:23 PM): ANDD...
ton1025 (11:43:43 PM): well, in his room he had the new Shakira cd... which i also have
ton1025 (11:43:51 PM): its all in Spanish.. very beautiful
ton1025 (11:44:01 PM): so he puts that on repeat, and we go to sleep..
ton1025 (11:44:33 PM): well, we made love 4 times... it was beautiful, passionate, and mindblowingly romantic
Miguel6674 (11:44:54 PM): OMG
Miguel6674 (11:44:55 PM): OMG
Miguel6674 (11:44:55 PM): OMG
Miguel6674 (11:44:56 PM): OMG
Miguel6674 (11:45:01 PM): I love it!!!
ton1025 (11:45:11 PM): we cuddled.. he is very deep and sweet, asking me questions.. gorgeous accent..
ton1025 (11:45:24 PM): it was like a scene out of a movie
ton1025 (11:45:38 PM): he is moving to NYC in like a week, and he wants me to come visit him up there
ton1025 (11:46:34 PM): oh and the next morning, I had to check out of my hotel to drive home, so he got on his bike (he had to go to work) and he walked me to my hotel, then kissed me goodbye right there on the street in south beach with people everywhere
ton1025 (11:46:53 PM): and that was the last I saw of Henry
Miguel6674 (11:47:15 PM): That
Miguel6674 (11:47:15 PM): Is
Miguel6674 (11:47:17 PM): SOO sweet
ton1025 (11:48:00 PM): it was such a chance meeting, there at night in the hurricane
Miguel6674 (11:48:14 PM): yeah
ton1025 (11:48:15 PM): I was lost; he was going to get a bottle of wine
Miguel6674 (11:48:26 PM): Wow. That was meant to happen.
ton1025 (11:48:35 PM): yeah... im never going to forget it
ton1025 (11:48:39 PM): he sang to me, the shakira songs
ton1025 (11:48:44 PM): and translated what she was saying
ton1025 (11:48:48 PM): it was so romantic
ton1025 (11:48:55 PM): he was gorgeous and humble...

Yeah, so who’s for going to Miami Beach? I know I am.

I have mentioned that Harry Potter is this Friday? Well, it is! HARRY POTTER NUMBER SIX IS COMING OUT THIS FRIDAY AND I’M DOING TRIVIA FOR HARRY FREAKING POTTER.

The trip to New York is coming together nicely. Frier, Pepijn, and I will be leaving Atlanta a week from today. I haven’t been on a plane since 2000 – that was the last time I left the state, too. (I don’t count the time I had to take Pepijn and Catie to Gainesville, Florida. I didn’t get to see anything besides the highway, his apartment, and Wal-Mart, so it doesn’t count)

Well I’m out.

GOOD day.

Thank you Freddy for stating the obvious...this is his take on what I need in a good boyfriend:

fv4881 (1:34:08 AM): meh, you need a good boyfriend who can understand your mood changes and keep up with you, who can appreciate you, all of you, and be there for you when you need that, give you space when you need it, give you a hug when you want it, make you laugh when you least expect it, make you feel loved

Basically someone who can deal with a manic depressive. =)

Cheers.

Well, I feel like absolute shit right now. Why? I don’t know. It just happens when your manic depressive like I am. The smallest things (what the hell is things?) will set me off, but I don’t even know what the things are, so I can’t tell why I feel like shit. Maybe some of the shit feeling comes from working 12 hours today, on the 4th of July. How fun. Oh, by the way, Happy 4th of July Miguel. You know, I think I’m an anti-social person. For some reason I just don’t like the thought of being around a lot of people, but when I am, I’m fine, but the thought of being around people scares me.

Take this past weekend for example. Jake and Samantha planned this Pre-4th of July celebration in Douglas. I really wanted to go, but then I remembered they invited a lot of people, so somewhere inside my screwed up head, I sabotaged it and decided not to go. But then again I really wouldn’t have been able to go because I have NO money. It REALLY sucks having no money when living in a big city. Really.

Recently I have been telling myself that it would be cool to live in Atlanta after I finish school. But I don’t think I want to. Whenever I come to this place, this depressive mood descends upon my body and is always bubbling at the back of my head waiting to flow out of my nose and mouth. Huh? Not sure.

I read a really good book this past week. “Comfort and Joy” by Jim Grimsley. Awesome book. The story involves the very handsome, intelligent, Dr. Ford McKinney, and the meek but thoughtful hospital “paper pusher” administrator Dan Crell. The two have been in a loving, but distant relationship for the past two years. Ford comes from old Savannah money. His parents expect him to marry a nice Savannah girl with a good family name and settle down to take over the family practice. Dan comes from a down trodden back woods North Carolina family. Neither man’s parents like their gay relationship, but are dealing with it, until Ford and Dan want to visit their respective families for the holidays. The story is well written, and is loaded with powerful scenes and even better language. The book delightfully moves back and forth from the past to the present, giving details on each guy’s upbringing, and telling the back story of how the two met and fell in love. I loved it. I wish I were still reading it. The author, Jim Grimsley, teaches at Emory. I’m so going to write him an e-mail and beg him to write a follow-up to the book. After reading the book, it left me with this longing, a longing for someone. The book delved into how Ford and Dan needed each other and couldn’t stand being away from each other. But it wasn’t a sappy kind of longing to be around someone, it was a bare, raw feeling that led them to each other. Once again, like many times I have posted on my blog, (I have to write it down just to get it off my chest) I wonder if I will truly find the “one”. I feel like such a boob for typing that statement. If a friend came to me and told me that they were worried that they wouldn’t find anyone, I would simply point out that they were 19, 20 or whatever, and that they have plenty of time to find that special someone. But that’s not enough anymore. Just to tell myself that “one day he will come along” just is not easing the tension. Maybe it’s because I have too much free thinking time during the summer to sit and analyze my horrid thoughts, but I have been so negative since I’ve been home. I don’t know if this is weird, but right now, I really miss my dorm room at SGC. The privacy, the way I could just close my door and feel like I was shut off from the rest of the world is such a distant memory now. But then again, I don’t miss the nasty bathrooms, and the sex that went on in the rooms beside me.

Recently I have hung out with some old friends from high school. Allison and Stephanie, two of my older surrogate sisters. They have both just finished school – Allison from Elon University, and Stephanie from Rice University. I have always looked up to these two, even in high school. They always held themselves up with great dignity, I am so happy to follow in their footsteps. We had a delicious Italian dinner at Johnny Crinos (sp?) – we caught up on old times and updated on other people from high school, and then we ended up at Barnes & Noble café for dessert. The night was too young, so we went for a movie. We saw the not so funny Bewitched. It was a fun night; I hope we get to do it again.

I can’t spell.

Good day!

Things I’m looking forward to:
1) Visiting Douglas sometime soon to see everyone before school starts up.
2) Going to the big apple on the 19th of this month and finally meeting Freddy.
3) Getting paid.
4) Eating.
5) Losing weight and whipping Kyle’s ass.
6) The season premiere of Big Brother 6! YAY for host Julie Chen, just gotta to love her!
7) Reading more gay books this summer.
8) Trying somehow to “find” myself – am I EVER going to be done doing that? They didn’t on Dawson’s Creek, DAMN.
9) Redesigning my blog WIHTOUT any gray in it.
10) Turning 20 in August.
11) Starting a new school in the fall.
12) Becoming less passive aggressive somehow.

I’m spent.