Were the drunks in high school right? Do I not know how to have fun? Am I really THAT boring?

Here it is, another weekend, and I’m sitting in the dorm lobby on the computer. Shit! But what makes this situation even sadder is that next semester, I will probably be doing this even during the week. Since Lisa and Gradia are leaving next semester, I’m not going to have anyone to hang out with or talk to. It just seems like everyone is having the time of their life right now.

Sometimes I wish we could control out emotions. We can’t REALLY stop being angry, we can just control what we do with our anger, or sadness. We can try to make it go away, but if it doesn’t go away, then what can we do? What if you like someone, or I should say, you think you like them, and you find out that the person is in a very loving relationship with a wonderful person… what can you do? Nothing. Just sit around and think about how much life sucks sometimes. Key word: Sometimes

I know that in life we have good times and bad times, even so, it’s still difficult to deal with the hard times. I wonder why I always feel like an outsider. Even during my senior year when I was having the time of my life, I still felt like an outsider. I wonder why that is? What makes me always think that I’m alone, even when I’m surrounded with people that love me? Sitting here right now I can’t think of a time when I have ever felt like part of the “group.” Family outings, prom homecoming groups, lunch tables, classes, anything, I never feel like I belong. This is something I need to explore and try and figure out…