Normalcy is something a lot of people try to hold onto.

In my mind, normalcy and being content go hand in hand. Being happy, feeling satisfied with life are ideas that I have always dreamed of. But what happens when your satisfaction with life is taken away? What do you do when your whole life is turned upside down and you see that being satisfied and content was always there, but you just never reached out to grab them?

Someone that I have known for most of my life, who went through similar, but very different struggles throughout life, was brutally murdered. Rashae M., 20 year old female, mother of two, was stabbed to death by her children’s father. Her funeral is this weekend. I don’t know how to really react to this. Besides my God mother, I’ve never had anyone close to me die before. It’s weird to think that she’s gone. She was my age, my grade; I even dated her in elementary school for a couple of months. (I know) The funeral will be rough, but, I will keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, unfourtently.

Another flat tire. More money. What have I done? Who have I talked about? Why am I being punished? Eh.

So, yeah. I can’t sleep. Why? I have too many worries. Not problems, worries. Well, to me they are problems, but to the person living in downtown Atlanta under a bridge with no idea where they are going to eat breakfast, my problems are serious.

I’ve been worrying about money. That thing that makes the world go around, and around, and around. It makes us jealous fools, it makes us happy fools, it even makes some of us eat dog shit (see Fear Factor – check local listings). Some of us little peons don’t have it, and wish we did. When I was in Douglas, I had three jobs. Three paychecks. Three incomes. Now I have one, one little part time job. It ain’t enough. The fact that my Grandmother isn’t working, and my mother just started a temp job this week doesn’t help the situation.

I need money for the following:
1) School
2) Trip to New York
3) Car stuff – new tire, oil change, light, battery, and I’m sure something else soon
4) Food
5) Weight loss stuff (i.e. Weight Watchers, gym, ANYTHING)
6) Social life

This is the time when I really wish Oprah was my mother. Really. Or Rosie, or just someone with a nice income. Speaking of Rosie, I found her blog online: www.rosie.com

Maybe I can pawn something…

Something is wrong with me. It seems like my blog posts have become so vague and vanilla – there’s no spice. I don’t really get down to the nitty gritty stuff. Whatever the nitty gritty stuff seems to be. But then again, this is summer, and my life is almost as exciting as watching two dogs make whoopee.

Work is work. People are stupid. I use to think that Barnes & Noble customers were so sophisticated and intelligent (and the voice of SGC—only people on the newspaper staff would get that one). Not so much anymore. Here’s a list of things people do at Barnes & Noble that piss me off:
1) Leave a PILE of magazines all over the damn store. Put SHIT back! It’s not that hard. Or at least don’t grab 20 magazines (I’m not kidding) and just leave them sitting every damn where.
2) When people come in and ask for a book and have no clue who the author or title is, how the hell are we supposed to find or know what book they are talking about. People come in and say“Um, I don’t know the author or title, but the book is about a man and a woman – do you know what I’m talking about?” NO THE HELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT – GET A FREAKING CLUE!!
3) If I’m at the cash register and I’m going through my speech about buying a member card, at least listen to what I have to say before you just wave or shake your head in the middle of my speech. RUDE. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear about how you can save 10% on all of your purchases in the store and online at barnesandnoble.com – I HAVE TO SAY IT SO JUST LISTEN AND SHUT THE HELL UP!
4) Imagine this: You’ve been standing on your feet for five hours; you’re tired, and just ready to go home. You go and clock out and start heading towards the front door to go home. BUT NO, some DUMB ASS stops you (oh, and these dumb ass people saw you take off your name badge, meaning you are not on the clock and not working) and asks if you can find these two books for them. WTF?
5) OH, AND THE PEOPLE WHO COME IN WITH 40 BOOKS ON A LIST TO ORDER. WHAT THE HELL?!?! THAT IS WHY WE HAVE BARNESANDNOBLE.COM FOR. GO AND ORDER 40 BOOKS OFF OF THERE. YOU WILL GET FREE SHIPPING BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I’m done. I think I’m going to pop something in my forward if I don’t calm down…

I forgot to add to the previous post, that after SOAR, Danielle and I met up with Laura, Jake, and Kyle. They all came to Statesboro and we had a grand ole’ time at Ryan’s All-You-Can-Eat buffet, and then we spent some time at the local mall.

Yesterday was interesting. VERY interesting. Danielle and I went to look (inspect) Michael’s (my ex) new apartment. The new apartment he is sharing with a roommate from school, and with his boyfriend. Umhm. The same boyfriend who called me FAT! Now we all know that I call myself fat on a regular basis, that’s fine and dandy, but this boy who doesn’t even know me called me FAT! Bitch. Anywho, so Danielle and I travel 2732910372 miles up to North Atlanta to see the place. When we arrive, just Michael and I are there. Everything goes smoothly. We’re sitting around, laughing, joking, and having a grand time. Then Michael has to leave to pickup said bitch. (I shouldn’t be so mean, but I’m so passive aggressive in real life, I have to let it out somewhere) They walk in, the boy looks at me and Danielle and smiles. Umhm. Everything goes all right. No one clawed anyone’s eye out or anything – just a little weirdness circling around the room.

New York is next month and I’m excited. I have some reservations about things, but I’m not sure how to verbalize them.

Oh, and I think a little trash is needed for this post via discussion of the new Real World cast. Okay, first off, it’s weird to see people on there that graduated from high school the same year I did. That could be me on there. (scary) Secondly, these people just don’t seem to have any depth. I know it was just the first episode, but, I don’t feel like I would learn anything from these people. What happened to the days of learning about different types of people from all over the U.S., and even the world? Now people get on there just to see which roommate they can sleep with and how much alcohol they can consume. We shall see how it is when I’m on there! HA!

Time for bed. More soul selling to do for B&N tomorrow!

Good day!

Well, it looks like I’m in eagle. A Georgia Southern eagle. I went to SOAR, the orientation program this past week. Danielle came with me to make sure I didn’t get screwed over.

I spent the night at Danielle’s house Friday night. We rented “Hotel Rwanda” and ordered pizza. Yeah, so I like totally balled watching that movie. I highly recommend it. We woke up Saturday morning at 3 something to get on the road. We got there on time, and as soon as we entered the building, I saw Leroy, Peta, Ben, and someone else from SGC. It was like an SGC reunion at Georgia Southern. It was cool though to see how we all worked our asses off and now we have come to the major leagues. The whole day was long and forgettable. The only part worth mentioning is the registration session. As a transfer student with all of my core classes completed, but none of the pre-recs for most upper level classes, my selection was small and the classes that I needed to take were all full. I was able to get into every class I needed, expect for one. I’m down for Southern Politics on Wednesday nights, but I really need to take Intro to Journalism.

But, here’s my schedule for my first semester at Georgia Southern:
-Intro to Mass Communication – MWF 9:00-9:50am
-Rhetoric of Social Movements – TR 11:00am-12:15pm
-Critical Thinking – MWF 1:00-1:50pm
-Southern Politics – W 6:30pm-9:15pm
-Social Issues of Sport – TR 9:30am-10:45am (what the hell?!)

It feels weird just taking five classes. I feel like I need to take six so I can get 18 hours out of the way, but I think this is a nice starting point. I should find out about housing in about a week or two.

Oh, I’m on the face book now. HAHA…I’ve been spending hours on there looking at people from other schools and my high school. It’s interesting. It’s kind of like myspace.

Um, I don’t really feel like posting anything else. My fingers hurt and I think I want to go to the new Wal-Mart by my house. HAHA.

Good day!

I am watching the most disgusting display of what’s supposed to be quality television. Well, maybe it’s not supposed to be quality, but, hell, its network television – isn’t there supposed to be some kind of decency. I consider myself a very open-minded person, but, there are some things in life that are just wrong. And Jerry Springer is wrong.

I haven’t watched a full episode of Jerry Springer since middle school. It was very popular for a while, and then I thought it went away. Not so. So I’m just sitting here, channel surfing, enjoying this moment of relaxation when I stop on Fox 5. These two gay black guys are on there fighting over someone is dating or something. I’m so embarrassed for them. They aren’t even talking out the problem like they are supposed to do on a TALK SHOW. They’re fighting and screaming – the audience yelled at them to take off their clothes, and these bastards did. NOW, its two black gay guys, in their underwear, fighting. The audience is getting all excited, screaming, chanting, for these people to fight. I don’t understand. This is a circus. They should rename it the Jerry Circus Show. **They have a stripper’s pole on the stage. WHAT THE HELL?!?! Now they have a old guy who looking like Santa Clause dancing on the pole. I kid you not. Now a woman from the audience is kissing Santa because the audience is yelling “KISS SANTA, KISS SANTA!” A woman just flashed her boobs. Why can’t I change I channel?

If you want to see this stupidity up close, in all its glory, here’s the number for free tickets to the show: 312.321.5365. It just flashed across the screen. I think it’s time to turn back to CNN.

Any who. Tomorrow I descend upon Statesboro, Georgia for orientation. I’m really excited to go and get my schedule. I’ll be spending two years there, so I’m sure after six months, my posts will change saying I want to leave the place. But that’s with anything I do.

I’m going to New York next month! I’m going to be able to see Freddy and Wicked! How fun! So far Samantha B., Jake, and Pepjin are signed up to go. I’m so excited.

Well, this has probably been my most random post, but I guess channel surfing in the afternoon can cause that.

I’m out.

Good day!

I have become so lazy since summer has started. I feel like my life has no purpose. There are no tests to study for, no newspaper deadlines, no meetings to plan, no social events, nothing. Well, just work, but that’s hardly challenging, just tiring. You would be surprised how stupid people are who come into Barnes & Noble. Especially the people who walk up to the Customer Service desk and say, “Um, I need help. (I can tell) I don’t know the name of the author, or the title of the book, but it’s about a man with problems.” People really come in and say stuff like that. So I’ll proceed to type into the computer “man with problems” and of course 38383473293 titles come up. So I’ll usually inform the customer that they have to be a bit more specific. Most times people get pissy and walk off. No skin off my back. Another thing about Barnes & Noble. The store I work in is located in a black area. We have a table filled with African-American fiction. Good. The only thing that bothers me is the titles that grace the table, titles such as “Project Chik,” “In Da Hood,” “Crack Head (this is really a title),” “Hustler’s Wife,” “I’m a whore and I love sucking…. (well not that extreme, but you get the point).” Do you see the problem? The black people who are reading these novels are reading, that’s wonderful, BUT, they are reading about the same trash that can be found in a large number of rap albums. Now don’t get me wrong, rap has its place, not all of it is bad – just like these books. I have read a couple of these books myself, BUT, they're not the only books I read, but some of our customers read these books religiously and nothing else. I fear they are polluting their minds with more trash. I hope they pick up a good Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Oprah’s Book Club selection book, Zora Neale Hurston, or Alice Walker book while picking up another Zane book.

Life in Hotlanta has been anything but hot. My days have consisted of going to work, coming home, getting on the net, talking to Freddy, and going to sleep. Every now and then Danielle and I will do something. Last night after work I went to her house and we rented “The Incredibles.” It was pretty good – you should see it! This Saturday Danielle and I are going down to Georgia Southern for SOAR. It’s where I sign up for my classes and feel like a freshman all over again. But I did hear some good news from Adam, Managing Editor of the George-Anne, and student newspaper of Georgia Southern. He called and told me last week that I was defiantly the Arts & Entertainment Editor for the newspaper. That made me smile. Now I just have to get involved with the radio.

Change is necessary, so here’s a new template. I never like them, they just grow on me. I think my new favorite color is gray – I’ve had three templates dealing with gray.

Any who, my financial life right now is a mess. I need another job—quick. I’m very disappointed I didn’t get an internship this summer, that would have been nice.

Eh, I was going to write more, but I’ve lost my train of thought.