Another beautiful weekend has past. (Me trying to be happy) The weekend before last Caitlin invited me to go with her to see the RHS Musical, “The Music Man.” I quickly agreed. Any opportunity that I can get to get out of Douglas, I get out. Friday after my 11:00AM class, I hopped in my car and drove the four hours up to the ATL. The drive was wonderful, it gave me time to think and contemplate on my life, where I am, and what I’m doing. I still don’t have any answers. I got to RHS around 4:00PM. It was wonderful; I went and talked to Mr. Scott, Mr. Spraggins (should I insert a witty comment here? Hmmmm….) and Mrs. Johnston [Yearbook teacher]. They all asked me the usual questions: How’s college? Are your classes hard? Why are you so fat? Yep. I ran into Talia in the hallway. We decided to go and get dinner, we went to MOE’S!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM….. Do I need to say that again?…. Moe’s…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM….It was SO good to finally eat something that wasn’t fried in pork lard!

The show was F*&^%N awesome! I was so proud of the chorus kids. It was like watching my own little kids up there on stage prancing around. They a lot of new guy members up on stage. Oh, I almost forgot about this. Seems like Spraggins has found another token black guy, but this one actually sings! After the show, like a dork, I went to the cast party. I know I know…Tanya and I were like the old college kids at the high school party….I felt like a lame when I first got there, but it was cool afterwards. It seems like I had more stimulating intelligent conversations with the high school peeps then I do with the college folks. It was awesome to be back in the company of good friends. I was actually being social! Talking to people, making bad jokes! AH! The fun times… After the party--which ended at 12:00, high school kids can’t stay out late—I went over to Caitlin’s, where I stayed the night. We talked, and then went to sleep. I left Sunday afternoon.

Being back in Atlanta (Roswell) made me think of all the good times that I actually had in high school. Don’t get me wrong, I DON’T want to go back, but, I appreciate what Roswell High School and Roswell the community did for me. Even though I have never lived in Roswell, I still feel apart of the community. I think I will forever (could be a good or bad thing) be linked to that place.

Moving on to all things South Georgia… yuk. I think the isolation that I feel like I’ve been given, is finally starting to get to me. I can’t really remember anytime in my life where I wasn’t liked by a lot of people. I know this may sound vain or whatever, but it feels weird to be the one that everyone talks about. Every time I walk into the lobby of the dorms I hear them whisper ‘faggot,’ ‘gay ass.’ (Wait…can someone tell me what a gay ass is? Is my ass gay?) But it seems like every since the article came out people have totally changed. The same people who used to smile and say hi to me around campus don’t even look my way now. Well, it’s their loss.

I’m hungry… are you? Hmmm…what do I want to eat?!? Maybe some Pizza Hut… or Wendy’s…

Have you ever fucked up? You know, made one of those BIG mistakes, but you thought it was smart at the time? Well that’s what I feel like I’ve done with a certain situation in my life. DMAN…well…I guess I have to remember that everything happens for a reason.

I had a really good talk with Mrs. Frier today. We talked about everything, life, people, stereotypes, how fucked up we all are. AH! MISTAKES! But yeah… today was a good day actually. When I woke up this morning, I was happy. I can’t remember me EVER being like that. I hopped out of the bed and started my day. It was weird. But it felt good. Yeah. Boring stuff here. Nothing interesting going on.

OH OH….I just forgot. I bought this book in Athens last week, “How I learned to Snap,” by Kirk Read. The book was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.! I went to the author’s web-site and e-mailed him telling him how much I enjoyed his book, yada yada…. Well, he e-mailed me right back and said that if I wanted to, I could interview him for my school's newspaper! I was elated! I’ve never had anyone famous e-mail me before. That was an exciting part of my day.

Do you ever feel ignored? You know, like when you and someone else are in the room and they don’t say a word to you. Well, they at least have the decency to say “Hey.” But they say nothing at all. BUT, they get on the phone and call people. Has that ever happened to you? Does it make you mad? It pisses me off. But of course I’m so passive aggressive I never say anything. Damn me being passive aggressive! Urgh!

Here's a quick rundown of my life for the last few days. (Not enough time to write full entry):

1) Went to Athens this weekend. LOVED IT! I’ve decided that’s where I want to go to school after hell (aka South Georgia)
2) The newspaper came out last week, with my gay article. Few people upset, but some people left nasty things on my dorm room door. (Bitches) =)
3) Life is GOOD, no matter WHAT!
4) I FINALLY got my John Mayer cd! (I’m going to marry him, you watch and see!)
5) I spent wayyyy to much money in Athens, but it was SO worth it!
6) Fuck you, and yo momma too!
7) I saw Caitlin! I love her!
8) I went to my first college party, F.U.N.

Ok, that’s all I can write right now, I’ll give a full rundown of what happened later on. But now, it’s off to English.

I think I just failed my Humanities test. I don't know, I was like the fifth person finished, but there were a few questions that I couldn't even guess. Gosh, I hope I at least get an 80 or higher!

How does one go about putting pictures on this wonderful site?

Oh my, isn’t it funny how music can alter moments? One minute you can feel like total shit, listen to a song, and feel like you could take on the world. I LOVE that. But then sometimes music can bring you down, way down to a very dark and depressing place. But right now, I’m happy. Well, maybe not bouncing off the walls, happy. I guess I should say I feel content. I’m not upset, I’m not hyper, I’m just content. I took my math mid-term this morning and tottaly kicked ass! There was only ONE question that I couldn’t figure out. Everything else was cake easy. (cake easy?) It felt so good to finally complete a math test in thirty minutes without having to ask questions or anything. Awesome!

Last night I worked out for forty-five minutes in the school’s weight room. GOD I felt so good afterwards. I went by myself because I knew if anyone would have come with me I wouldn’t have pushed myself. My chest felt like it was going to implode after the workout. I was drenched in sweat, and if anyone knows me, you know that I DON’T sweat. Last night I did. I feel good. I’m going to try and go at least three times week for an hour.

Thursday I got o Athens for the Theater Conference. I’m super excited to see what this Athens is all about. I get to see Caitlin and the other half of the class of 2003 from RHS. I have to get my oil checked in my car though. (Random thought of the day: Get my oil checked.)

bitch

I just got one of the nicest e-mails ever. I was almost-but not-in tears when I read this. (I'm WAYYY to emotional)

"Hey, your school address never reached me. It's all crunked up. Give it to me again so I can send junk to our real email address. If you'll allow me to, I'd like to pay you a huge compliment. I'm in a class called the Dean's Distinguished Lecture series, and basically what we do is listen to industry leaders talk about how to succeed in this industry. Every single person that has come through has said different things about success and the hospitality business, but they have all said a few things in common. One of those was that it's incredibly important to go into
business with someone you know is responsible and you know has a strong
work ethic. Every time I hear that I think: Miguel. Really, I admire your determination and drive. As I told my mother, in an age when you can't really trust anyone to do anything - let alone someone my age - you need to work with people you can trust. Thanks for being a good co-worker. Needless to say, I have a very high opinion of you. Besides the fact that you're......you know.....I mean I can't ignore the fact that you're...........well it's just that you're...........a bad dresser.
But a good fashion sense isn't necessarily a must in the business world. If
only you would shower every once and a while.... (There's more but it's not really important)

Ryan"

Ok, so I feel like total crap this morning. I don’t know why, but I do. I’m sitting in computer class right now. I forgot my friggin disk so I’ve just been sitting here for the past 25 minutes pretending that I’m doing I’m work. But yeah, I feel like crap, I look like crap, (I don’t smell like crap, and life sucks. It feels like I’m sucked into this vortex of endless bad days.

I brought my TV with me from back home this weekend; I thought maybe it would help me feel better if I had another form of entertainment. Last night I was watching the wonderful TV show, ‘The Real World: Paris.’ For those thirty minutes I don’t think I thought about any problem that I had, it wad pure MTV heaven. Then, after the show was over I left my room to answer nature’s calls. As soon as I walked out of my room and into the hallway, I saw one of the baseball players walking down the hallway and grabbing at his balls. That just brought me back down to reality and reminded me where I was. Good ole’ SGC. I know you all are probably tried of hearing about me complain about my school, but I can’t help it. I thought there was maybe going to be a way for me to get out of here by next year, but no such luck. I have deficiencies from high school (thanks RHS) that I have to make up; I can’t transfer unless I get all those classes done, plus the 32 hours it takes to transfer. So yeah, I’ll probably be here for the next two-years, and the summer.

But do you ever just wake up and feel like a big brown piece of crap? I did this morning. Even as I’m sitting here in Computer class trying to look like I’m working, I feel as if I just fell from some one’s butt cheeks into the toilet. How about THAT for imagery?!?

Ok, I’m done bitching. Have a wonderful day.

I’ve been SUPER busy these last few days. I’ve been stuck up in the newspaper room trying to get this newspaper finished and off to the press. I’m kind of nervous, a lot of people at my school-mainly teachers-are looking at the newspaper to see what I can do. Mrs. Frier, the advisor, has been hyping me and what the paper is supposed to look like up, I just hope I can deliver.

This weekend: wow. It was VERY interesting, to say the least. SO, Friday I left to go to Atlanta for a seminar about copy-editing and newspaper grammar. The seminar was very cool, and informative. I learned a lot about what I should be doing as Editor. The seminar was Saturday from 1:00PM till 4:00PM. Guardia, my friend from school, had come with me to Atlanta, so I had to pick her up after the seminar since I was going back to school right after the seminar. I asked her if she wanted to go to North Point, she said yes. I had a few dollars to spend so I figured I would buy a shirt or two. I ended up spending $79.00 at Express Men’s, which was well worth it. My clothes are awesome! But anyhow, Guardia and I were walking through the mall, and guess who I spot? Usher and Chili (from TLC)! I was freaking out and all excited that I actually had actually just spotted two famous people. The both of them went into Baby Gap, so of course I had to follow them in. (I’m not a stalker.) I conveniently had a piece of paper and pen in my pocket, I whipped the pen and paper out and politely asked Mr. Usher if he would give me high autograph. He gave me this funny look, took the pen and paper and scribbled crap on the paper. Not the word crap, but crap. You can even tell whose name it is, it looks like something I just scribbled down! That pissed me off so much. I wanted to get Chili’s autograph, but she was talking to a saleswoman. After that incident, I was very perturbed, so we left. We got on the high way and were about two hours into out trip when our next little adventure started.

It was dark outside, we were on 75 about two hours outside of Atlanta. I’m driving up beside this big caddie car. From behind and beside the car you can see that the owner of the car has a TV in the front of the car. The TV is on, and some show is on, so I think. As I drive up to pass the car, I look over at the TV screen and see a woman sucking on a man’s penis. PENIS. Yes, this man was watching a PORNO in his car. Eww. I told Guardia to look and see what I had just witnessed. I then slowed down so she could see this wonderful display of human emotion. She saw it and couldn’t believe it. By this time the man realized that we were looking in his car. He looked over at us and gave me this super creepy menacing look. That freaked me the hell out, so of course I did what every self respecting black person who doesn’t want to die at the beginning of the movie does. I put my foot on the gas and booked it! I got over to the far left lane. Graduia and I thought we were home free, we were wrong. She looked over and saw him driving right beside us! I wasn’t amused anymore; I was really freaked out by this point. I finally just pressed the gas all the way down and did at least 95 if not 100. I finally was able to weave my way away from the crazed porno man. But it’s not over yet.

So were about another hour into the trip, driving, singing Tina Turner and Chicago. BLUE LIGHTS-BLUE LIGHTS. Damn. The cops pull me over telling me that I was going like 15 over the speed limit. Since I was in the deep south by now, I made sure to smile extra hard and be polite, I didn’t want to become the next headline on the AJC about a hate crime. He helped me out and wrote on the ticket that I was just going 10 over, so that’s good.

That was my weekend: fun, exciting, and tiring… but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

I thought this was funny.

I scored a 54% on the "How Alpharetta are you?" Quizie! What about you?

Ok, so this is now the second time I’ve written an entry for today. I always type my entries in word so they get lost. But today, of course, as I was getting close to finishing my entry, the power went out in the school! SO, my whole little entry is blown away to no where land. Shit. But yes, let’s see…nothing major is happening to me right now. Other then being a total outsider here, but we don’t want to beat a dead horse that’s already been beaten. (what?) Tuesday at the annual newspaper meeting I led the meeting all by myself. Last week I led the meeting as the Editor, but the advisor was there. But this Tuesday she wasn’t there so it was all up too little ole’ me. I think that some people on the staff think I have no clue what I’m doing. And you know what, they are so on the mark. I have no freakin clue what I’m doing, but I’m doing my best. But next week I have to prepare more for the meeting so I at least know what I’m talking about.

Oh yes, so, that little diet thingy I wrote about two weeks ago, so isn’t working out. I’m finding that food is my comfort, and I need to be comforted (does that sound weird) a lot. So I need to find something to do. It’s so weird, just about every other day, around maybe 5:00 P.M., I’ll say to myself, “You know what, I really do hate this school, so you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go and eat, that will cheer me up!” And after I go and STUFF my face, I feel awful. Yesterday, I went to Pizza Hut and ate at their all-you-can buffet. It was quite sad. I was sitting there, with a plate full of cheese pizza, bread sticks, and in hand my ‘Black Gay’ novel, “B-Blue Boys,” which is really good by the way. So yeah, that was fun…but this morning I felt like shit. That’s right SHIT. Like a big brown piece of shit. Fun. (smile)

Can someone PLEASE tell me why the little Shout Out comment boxes disappear sometimes?!?!