Life is hectic, but good. Things could be worse. (I'm done, I've learned my lesson, once again)

I'm at work right now at the radio station listening to Nascar - got to love working at a classic rock station. I don't know half of the people we play, and don't let someone call here and ask me a question about the music - my usual response is, "Um, I can't answer THAT question, I'm a new intern here, but you can call back on Monday - thanks for listening to 99.5 WDMG The Big Dog!!" And of course I always smile before I answer the phone so I sound super happy. Yay.

Hmmm...so this weekend has been rather dull - well Friday was fun. Friday was the deadline for the newspaper, so I got to sit in the journlaism office and watch as people ran in or e-mailed me right at the 2:00PM deadline. I was there most of the day with Sam, my Copy Editor. At 6 pm Sam and I went to dinner with Jake, Alana, Rebbecca, Wes, and Edgar. We ate at the oh so wonderful food establishment of Zaxby's. After that we went bowling - where they charged me $2.00 for socks. Yes. TWO DOLLARS FOR SOCKS!!! You better believe I was pissed off. 2 freaking dollars! Any who...we had fun bowling, but 2 very important things happened to me there. First, when I did a "Grandma" roll of the ball, you know where you get down and push the bowling ball with both hands, my shorts split in the back. My FAT ass came right out - nasty - I was super embarrassed, I could feel the cold air hit my inner thighs (probably more information than you wanted know). But yeah, I took it like a man and made Alana go to her car and get me one of her jackets so I could tie it around my waist. Thanks. AND...I FINALLY, for the FIRST time in my life broke 100!!! YAY, I think I got like 114 or something. I was hella excited about that. After wards we went to Cafe Isabella for a quick sip, then we all went back to the newspaper office where I attempted to work on the newspaper layout. I didn't get much work done while everyone was there, but after they left I was able to get a bit done. I stayed up there till about 5:00AM working on the paper. Jake was there most of the time but he went into the computer lab and did whatever in there. So that was Friday - well since I didn't get to bed until like 5:30AM I didn't wake up until like 1:45 pm Saturday afternoon. Nothing really happened Saturday - I just went and worked on the paper some more, but this time I stayed until like 6AM this morning...I'm crazy. I just get in these zones where I just want to work until my head is really about to hit the desk.

Now I'm studying for my FOUR freaking tests I have this week. WHY the hell are all Professors giving tests this week?! AH!

Well I don't know if I wll be able to update this week seeing as how I'm going to be running on E the whole time, but we shall see.

Well I'm going to get back to studying for my Spanish test Tuesday.

Good day!

It’s 2:43 in the morning and my black (or brown) butt is still up! AH! I can never seem to get to bed at a decent time. Tonight I had this quiz for Dr. R’s History class I had to do online. He’s gone somewhere for a week so we have to read chapters from this book about the history of Philosophy from the Greeks to the Renaissance. It’s called “The Dream of Reason” by Anthony Gottlieb. It’s interesting sometimes, but the author goes in circles with some concepts and theories of Philosophers. It’s mind boggling at times – well that’s how I feel right now. I just spent an hour and a half reading two chapters and taking the online quiz. My brain is a buzz right now with all the thinking I had to do. heh.

I’ve updating like crazy these past few weeks. I’m use to only doing this line once or twice a week. I’m pretty sure by this time next week I’ll be back to posting once or twice a week.

I think it’s time for me to do another one of my lists….

Things floating around my head right now:

-I can’t wait to drive into Athens as a UGA Junior next fall.
-Once again, taking 18 hours is NOT a wise decision! If your parents have money, and you have time, TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS freaking time AND enjoy college!
-If you don’t like something, damn it, change it!
-The internet in our dorm rooms is not working so I’m down in the lobby of the dorms on the -computers – that sucks.
-It’s really hot in here and I think my ass cheeks are sweating. (kidding…or am I?)
-I need to shave.
-The newspaper deadline is Friday, my deadline to get the paper out to the Press is next Friday – Holy Shit.
-I love doing layout.
-I wonder if all the shit I do is going to payoff one day.
-Will I be President of the United States, or Cuba? Hmmm….
-I really don’t want Mr. Bush to be President again, I think I might cry.
-I want to get married one day.
-I want to eat one day.
-I lost 6 freaking pounds these past three weeks! WOOT!
-New friends are awesome!
-I’ve had a movie from Movie Gallery for two weeks and I STILL haven’t watched it.
-I’m listening to Josh Groban right now – he makes me smile.
-“When you say you love me do you know how I love you?” –Josh Groban (#05 on his cd)
-My hand has blue ink all over it.
-I’m finally tired.

Well that’s it for me, I’m out. PEACE in the Middle East! (sorry)

Good day!

Well it’s been a couple of days since I lasted posted in here. Thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement. This was a really tough situation for me. Even though Smiles and I only have known each other for a day, it feels as if we have known each other forever. My heat still aches when I think about him and what could have been, but I have to move on. But who knows what the future will bring...

As of right now I feel like I am up to my eyes in work. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this year and get everything done and have a decent GPA. I hope I don’t have to put aside my dreams of UGA because of this year. There is just so much going on and NO time to do it in – but I could make better use of my time. I spend a lot of time just sitting around with different people during the day talking and such. I keep telling myself that I’m going to do my homework and crap in the afternoon so at night I can just hop in the bed and go to sleep. Ah, sleep…I sure do miss getting it. Last year I use to get like 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, gosh I miss that. Sleep is so good, I mean, it’s like AWESOME. I love that feeling when you first lay down and your body just relaxes…mmmmmm…..

Well I went to Weight Watchers last night for the first time since August. Get this, I’ve lost SIX pounds since August, SIX! HA! I just knew they were g ng to tell me that I had gained another whole person in size, but nope, I lost weight. So I’m going to TRY and get back in the Weight Watchers program so I can reach my goal by January. I’m actually going to stick to my New Year’s Resolution! Well at least one of them.

Something I did today (thanks Catie) -
The Ultimate Politics Survey
Describe your stance on:
Abortion: Pro-Choice
Affirmative Action: For - but with reform
Age of Consent: 17 - Let the kids do it! Just teach em!
Animal Testing: Please don't.
Death Penalty: I still don't know
Downloading Music/Movies: Hmmm...download! They have millions.
Drug Decriminalization: Tax it.
Factory Farming: Um, yeah...
Free Trade: Trade away
Funding of Arts: MORE MONEY!!
Gay Marriage: I'm going to have to say YES to this one!
Gun Control: Do you REALLY need that gun? NO!
Immigration: Let them come in! It is AMERICA isn't it?
Hardcore Pornography: If they are over 18, let em do it and show everyone.
Human Cloning: Clone away.
Miltary Draft: NO NO NO...but then again I'm telling...I'M GAY!!!!
Minimum Wage: Give the kids at least $6 to work with.
Prostitution: Hmmm...make it legal and tax it.
School Vouchers: NO! Make the schools better, duh!
Taxes: Keep them where they are, no more tax cuts until we can get out of debt, but then again I don't know much about this so....
United Nations: YAY?
Universal Health Care: YES! I don't have Health Care and I need some, I don't want to die.
War on Terrorism: Damn
Welfare: Yes, but with reform.
Take The Ultimate Politics Survey
Get more cool things for your blog at <\br>

I have play rehearsal in like ten minutes, so I guess I should get going…

Good day!

Well all good things must come to an end – or should I say reality. Tonight was that reality for me. Saddening yes, but I’m glad it happened now instead of a week from now. Smiles and I had a talk tonight and decided that it probably isn’t the best time to start a relationship. I’m fine, I understand, and I’m good with it. I was a bit upset earlier, but with some milk and cookies, I’m fine. I’m such an emotional eater! lol I really do need to stop that. Hmm…I’ve got nothing else to say…

UPDATE: Ok…so I’m adding to this post. It’s later in the evening; well I guess I should say morning. I had to stay up and study for a quiz, but in studying, I started thinking about the whole situation with Smiles. You know what? That really sucks…like really. I have fallen hard for this person, like really, and now it’s all gone, and it hurts. I guess it was fate that I was supposed to feel the ultimate high and the ultimate low this week. But I feel like such a dork because I’ve only known him for a week, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. AHH! All these different scenarios keep running around my head – I could have done this better – I shouldn’t have said that – I shouldn’t have looked like that. I know that none of that has anything to do with what happened today, I still can’t help but to think about it all. I’m really tired and sad and don’t know what to do. I just keep typing and I can’t stop. I think I might cry – I haven’t cried over someone before, I don’t think. I feel bad for making him feel bad. I hope he doesn’t feel bad, I know he has to find himself and figure out what he wants in life. We are just in two different places right now and it’s hard to make those places come together, I guess. I want a serious relationship, and he’s just figuring out life. I want someone to be there so we can share the good and bad moments. I want someone who can make my day feel that much better when I’ve lost faith in everything. I want someone to sit and watch the stupid girlie movies with me. I want someone to sit and listen to music with me. I thought I had it, but it’s gone. It slipped out of my fingers before it could materialize. Gosh I know this post sucks because I’m not going to go back over it and proof read, I just don’t have the energy. I just, I don’t know. I hope he doesn’t feel bad, I don’t want him to, I understand what he had to do, and it’s better now than in the future when my heart would have been broken and put in the trash, but it’s not. I’ll get back up tomorrow morning and continue on with life. That’s all we can do, right? Just keep truckin’ Gosh I sound like such a whiny bitch…well I guess when it’s 4:15 in the morning you sound like all sorts of things.

Bed.

SO….I think this is the most I have posted in a week in a long time. But then again I haven’t had this much going on in one week in a long time. So let’s do a recap of the weekend thus far:

Friday: I had lunch with Frier, Jake, Jeff, and Jessi. I had a small cheese pizza – I felt like a total slob after eating all of that. Eating all that pizza kind of put me into a funk (food is like having an abusive boyfriend; it makes me happy, makes me sad, makes me want to kill myself-well maybe not kill, but you get the point) for most of the afternoon. I went to my room and took a quick nap, in preparation for the excitement that was to come that night. I woke up later on and got ready to go to the speaking event that Margaret Edson, author of the play “Wit”, was going to be. I arrived early so I could do my interview with her before the whole event happened, I didn’t want to wait around until after the event – I had “plans” for that evening. The interview went well; I succeeded in asking her a question that she had never been asked before! Here I come CNN! After this, I went to Taco Bell with Kayla, Ashley, Jamie, and Jake. I sat there for a while with them, and then I got a call from Smiles (of course that made me smile). I went to go see him. It was VERY nice. I love being around him, my spirits seem to lift and there are no cares. That was a good two hours spent – just talking and looking at each other (I’m smiling now).

Saturday: Woke up at 7:45 am to have breakfast with Margaret Edson. It was a time for the entire cast to just sit and talk with Margaret Edson about the play and what she what she had/has in mind for each character. It was very cool to actually sit and talk with the creator/writer of a play your doing. She’s such an intelligent woman. Very personable and quick witted. After the breakfast was over—10:00AM—I went back to my room and got some much needed sleep. Woke up, went to lunch with Danielle, and went to work at 5:30. Found out I didn’t have to be there until 6:45, stormed out and got some donuts from a gas station. Came back to work, got things working – then, THEN Smiles came to visit me at work! That was AWESOME! Made my freaking day! It was like a breath of fresh air coming through there. He stayed for a bit, we talked, I mostly just stared him down with googly (sp?) eyes. I’m such a puss…HA! He then had to leave, which made me sad. But I was happy I got to see him today.

That’s my weekend so far, not terribly exciting, but I got to see Smiles so they made it a great weekend.

Well it’s time for bed my kiddies.

Good day.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this happy, well, maybe expect for graduation from high school. But I’ve been in this euphoric state since Tuesday. I’ve been like a little giddy four year old for the past week. Just walking around loving every minute of life. I think this is the first post in the three years I have been doing this that has been like, HAPPY – like SHUT UP happy!

Ok, even though my thoughts have been consumed with Smiles all week, life has gone on, and some new developments have been made.

Today I decided to fight the good fight, to help the lost souls of America see how very wrong they are in wanting Mr. Bush to be our President. Some friends of mine and myself talked, and we made the decision to start a Young Democrats club at SGC. We are not going to try to be an official club with funding and such—no time—but our main purpose is to get more people in South Georgia to 1) think about the issues with their OWN mind 2) Vote for Kerry! 3) and vote for Denise Majette! Our organizational meeting is next Wednesday. I’m really curious as to what type of turnout we will have. I expect it to be really big, or really small with like 5 people. I was encouraged today to see that Denise Majette, who is running for the U.S. Senate seat in Georgia, is gaining ground against the tough to beat, very experienced Republican candidate, Johnny Isakson. I know she still has a VERY long shot to beat him, but I would like to see her give him a run for his money. But my friends and I were talking and we thought that maybe we could bring Denise down here to Douglas. It might be next to impossible, but you can only try! I hope that we are able to make some difference in the strong hold that the Republican Party has over South Georgians.

Last night was the first night of rehearsals for Wit. They went very well – I think we are going to have a really good show. The only concern I have is the time we have to do this in. We have 5 weeks to put this extremely difficult play together. I hope we can pull it off, because if we do – it’s going to be awesome! I’m interviewing the author of the play tomorrow! EEEK!!! Please cross your fingers that I will do well and not sound like a stupid little inexperienced journalist.

The deadline for the paper is next week, and I have NO idea if everyone is going to be ready to turn in everything by next Friday! I guess we shall see who is really serious about the newspaper.

Well I’m really tired and it’s 2 something in the morning and I have class in a few hours. I was up reading for Global Politics (my morning class) and decided that I would just write, and I have.

A word on Smiles….he makes me smile. He makes me happy. He makes my insides warm. I like to sit and think about him and how wonderful he is. OK OK I’m done! And he’s great!

Good day!

Happy. Dreamy. Content. Excited. Elated. Surprised. Freaking fantastic! That’s how I feel right now! I’m about to burst open with happiness. Like, really, I mean, my stomach is opening right now as we speak and the happiness is just gushing out all over my computer. Sorry…I thought that was a good image for ya. But yeah, back to the happiness…so I’ve met this incredible person—all names will be held to protect the innocent—we had the chance to hang out today. It was awesome. I was like in pure bliss for three hours. Hmmm…I think for the sake of my blog, we shall just call him “Smiles.”

So Smiles and I had a great time today. We watched a movie, talked, stuff, had dinner, and kissed in the parking lot of Zaxby’s— SOUTH GEORGIA!!!! Normally I’m not big on PDA, but since this was like the goodnight kiss I had to, but it didn’t hit me until after I drove off that I had just kissed another boy outside in South Georgia. Thank you God for not letting us get stoned to death! lol

So yeah, that’s it for tonight – I just wanted to write this incredible night down so I can think about it again tomorrow. I know I know, I’m trying to not to be all over the top excited about the situation and Smiles, but I can’t help it!

Okay, off to bed I go.

Good day!

Ya know what? Life is one big bitch. Here’s why:

1) Taking 18 hours (6 classes) is not fun. All I do is read – which is probably a good thing if you’re in college. So I guess that’s a good thing.
2) I can’t seem to lose weight. Every time I start on some weight lost thing, after two weeks, I quit. It’s like my subconscious is trying to tell me something, but I don’t know what.
3) I can’t seem to hold on to any money, I think it’s because I stopped returning tithes to church. hmmmm….
4) My neck and legs hurt…ouch
5) So many potentials, but none ever materialize.
6) There is ALWAYS a meeting for SOME club, always.
7) I wish people would seriously get over the gay thing! It’s just starting to get annoying now! Oh my gosh – I like guys. BIG DEAL! GET OVER IT! UGH!
8) Having to deal with other people’s feelings is a bitch, and very difficult.
9) TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!
10) I WANT SOME COOKIES!!!!

Some reason’s why life isn’t a bitch:
1) I LOVE being Editor; it’s like my little baby that’s gone with me through college. I can’t wait to leave and see how it grows up. But until then, WORK WORK.
2) I met some really cool new people this past weekend. Let’s see if I can remember their names: Kyle, Ashley, JC, Chad, Justin, Kim, and Kyle’s cousin…I think her name starts with an L (I’m SO bad with names!)?! But anywho, I had a fun time with them Friday night. I know they probably thought I was weird since I didn’t say anything the whole night (I know, ME silent? It happens sometimes). I think the funniest part of the night was when I followed Ashley, Kyle, and JC to Kyle’s cousin’s house. His cousin lives in the COUNTRY, way back on some dirt road somewhere. I was following all of them in my little car on the dirt road. It was dark, there was dust, there was corn, I’m black – I was scared… Regardless – I had my eye on someone that night, but I’ll expand another day…fun times were had, met some new people and I hope to do it again soon. Thanks Kyle!
3) Catie is awesome! I think Catie and Caitlin would get along – both great girls!
4) I’m now the Vice President of the Gay-Straight Alliance at school! WOOT WOOT…I’m actually happy to not be President, I just don’t have the time to put a lot of energy to get the club up and running. At our last gathering, since I was the outgoing President, I had to lead the meeting. We had a handful of new people so I thought it would be fun for everyone to say their name, how many years they have been at SGC, etc. Well, there were these guys from local churches at the meeting who just wanted to “pop in and see what the club is about.” YEAH. They looked very uncomfortable the whole time. I should have yelled out PENIS after every fourth word to make them really squirm! Fun times.
5) Frier gave me a $25 gift card to Franklin Covey! THNAK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost had an organism when I got it! I LOVE that store!
6) The baseball players on my floor have been nice so far – I haven’t had anything written on my door or anything, but I think it’s getting to the point where they are figuring out that I am gay, so now they just say, “hey” and scurry along. But then, I sometimes wonder if they do that because I don’t seem as if I actually want to talk to them?! Hmmm…
7) I’m going to interview Margaret Edson next week! She authored the play, “Wit,” which was made into an HBO movie starring Emma Thompson as the lead character. She’s coming next Friday and I’m going to get to sit and interview her for the paper – like a real journalist! HA! YEAH RIGHT! lol We are also doing her play sometime in mid October – I was cast in the play by the way! YAY! I get to do some acting again!
8) We have a lot of new people on staff and I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be a good year for the newspaper.

Well that pretty much gives a synopsis of what my life has been like for the past week. Until next time… I’M GOING TO GET MY COOKIE!!

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