Well all good things must come to an end – or should I say reality. Tonight was that reality for me. Saddening yes, but I’m glad it happened now instead of a week from now. Smiles and I had a talk tonight and decided that it probably isn’t the best time to start a relationship. I’m fine, I understand, and I’m good with it. I was a bit upset earlier, but with some milk and cookies, I’m fine. I’m such an emotional eater! lol I really do need to stop that. Hmm…I’ve got nothing else to say…

UPDATE: Ok…so I’m adding to this post. It’s later in the evening; well I guess I should say morning. I had to stay up and study for a quiz, but in studying, I started thinking about the whole situation with Smiles. You know what? That really sucks…like really. I have fallen hard for this person, like really, and now it’s all gone, and it hurts. I guess it was fate that I was supposed to feel the ultimate high and the ultimate low this week. But I feel like such a dork because I’ve only known him for a week, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. AHH! All these different scenarios keep running around my head – I could have done this better – I shouldn’t have said that – I shouldn’t have looked like that. I know that none of that has anything to do with what happened today, I still can’t help but to think about it all. I’m really tired and sad and don’t know what to do. I just keep typing and I can’t stop. I think I might cry – I haven’t cried over someone before, I don’t think. I feel bad for making him feel bad. I hope he doesn’t feel bad, I know he has to find himself and figure out what he wants in life. We are just in two different places right now and it’s hard to make those places come together, I guess. I want a serious relationship, and he’s just figuring out life. I want someone to be there so we can share the good and bad moments. I want someone who can make my day feel that much better when I’ve lost faith in everything. I want someone to sit and watch the stupid girlie movies with me. I want someone to sit and listen to music with me. I thought I had it, but it’s gone. It slipped out of my fingers before it could materialize. Gosh I know this post sucks because I’m not going to go back over it and proof read, I just don’t have the energy. I just, I don’t know. I hope he doesn’t feel bad, I don’t want him to, I understand what he had to do, and it’s better now than in the future when my heart would have been broken and put in the trash, but it’s not. I’ll get back up tomorrow morning and continue on with life. That’s all we can do, right? Just keep truckin’ Gosh I sound like such a whiny bitch…well I guess when it’s 4:15 in the morning you sound like all sorts of things.

Bed.