I just don’t understand the stupidity of some people, or I guess I should say the ignorance of people. …. I think I’m sacred. I’ve never been sacred for my safety when it comes to being gay. I’ve always held on to this belief that God would always come through for me, I still believe that, I’m just afraid of the evil in some people.

I moved into the C-Wing Saturday night; I moved over here because I’m the new RA for the 2nd floor C-Wing so it requires me to live here on the wing. [Side note: C-Wing 3rd & 2nd floor is the whole baseball team] Sunday a bunch of the baseball players knocked on my door and asked who I was and what I was doing here, but they way they asked it wasn’t mean or anything, I thought they were genuinely being nice by asking who I was. One of the players asked if I smoked, I said, “No.” Another asked if I drank, again, I said, “No.” In a collective sigh they all said, “damn!” I laughed, and then said, “I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but I’m here for a reason, so if I see you doing something like that, then I have no choice but to report you.” They then looked at me in frustration and of course vocalized their “damns” and “shits.” Someone reached around to their back pocket and pulled out a wad of cash as to infer that I take the money to be quiet about their illegal activities, I simply laughed and shook my head. They all then dispersed to their rooms. I didn’t think anything of the what had transpired, I thought my first “meeting” was a success... I guess I was wrong.

When you come from outside into the dorms you have to walk through the common room to get to your wing. I’m in the C-Wing so I have to walk across the other side of the common room. As I was reaching the C-Wing door I heard someone make a funny, flamboyant, feminine voice and say, “I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but I’m here for a reason…” I walked inside the C-Wing door and stopped to listen, they couldn’t see me, even if they had, I don’t think they would have cared if I had heard them. But I THINK, I heard them say something to the effect of faggot and that they were going to try and pull a prank…I’m not sure, but that’s what I THINK I heard at the end. I hate when that happens, I get so upset I can’t really think and remember situations. I came to my room and just sat on my bed.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give in and go to another school because of the bad stuff that’s happened to me here so far. I mean it’s only been a few incidents but I’m not used to this, I’m used to everyone liking me and not giving a rat’s ass about my sexual orientation. I know my mom would be more then happy to come and get me, but I just can’t do that. If I decided to move, that would be kind of like a message to all the hick ghetto folk here that gays are weak and can’t take the heat. I don’t want to send that message; suppose someone comes here next semester after I’ve packed up my shit and hit the highway and they start to mercilessly tease that person because of their sexual orientation. I just simply can’t let that happen.

This is what I think. I think God let me have a very easy time with the whole coming out process to prepare me for this. I felt an overwhelming sense of acceptance from everyone in my high school, I felt so loved. I think I have to tap into that feeling of love in order to get through all the shit I think I might have to endure while I’m here. It’s going to be tuff, but I pray that God sees me through this safely. I pray that he teaches these people acceptance and love, I pray that he gives me an inner peace to be able to deal with all the crazy crap I might be store for. I just pray that God stays with me.

***After thought [a couple of hours later] Right now I’m feeling a sense of empowerment. You know, it doesn’t matter if I have to fight this battle alone, after everything is said and done I will have the satisfaction that I can overcome anything. This is just another chapter in my life where I’m going to trample over adversity. Fuck these country ass rednecks. I came here to get my education and transfer to Emerson College, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to use every avenue possible to make sure that my stay here at South Georgia College is enjoyable (and maybe teach these people about tolerance). NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is going to run Miguel F. Fuller from anywhere. I’ve survived through hell twice, I can do it again. Hell fuckin YES!