A few days ago, some friends of mine invited me over for dinner. I love hanging out with these people...I always feel super inspired afterwards. I've always been told that you should hang out with people that are smarter than you, people that have more money than you, etc...it makes you rise to their level and improve yourself. I've always tried to do that in every aspect of my life. I'm always on the constant journey to better myself. But as I was sitting at the table, enjoying a wonderful dinner, something hit me. I complain about not having money, not being able to go home and visit, not being able to take a trip some where, blah, blah...but you know something I've always had, without question? Support. Encouragement. Respect.

From the time I could remember, my mother has always told me that no matter what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be, she would support me 100% and be there for me. There are a lot of material things she has not been able to give me though the years, but I've always known, that when I call her and tell her of my latest accomplishment...no matter how small, I'm going to hear nothing but encouragement from the other end of the line...

I've never been able to swallow pills...my mother and I use to fight like cats and dogs when I was sick and had to take medicine. Luckily, I've never had any serious medical attention and didn't HAVE to take serious medication. So I always got away with not swallowing pills. Well last year at GSU, I came down with a bad case of strep throat. I HAD to swallow these pills to get rid of the virus. Well, after much mental coaching, I swallowed my first pill! My throat thanked me later...but I called my mother in celebration. She was just as excited as I was! lol Who else would do that?

But I say ALLL that, to say that during my life, I've had people behind me, in my ear, whispering encouraging words...telling me to keep going, keep trucking...and sitting across from my friends at their house the other night, I just felt a wave of gratitude come over me. I am thankful, deeply thankful for all my friends and relatives that have been in my corner my entire life. These people would do anything for me...that's such a comforting thought. As I move forward in my career and life, I can always remember...

I have something money can never buy....respect.

Home is where the heart is.

I heard that a lot growing up, but I never really understood what that meant. After living in a couple of different cities in the past few years of life, I now have a full understanding of that fuzzy, warm saying.

Yesterday I hosted Battle For the Boro...it's a hodgepodge of local music artists performing all day. I was going back and forth between two stages from Noon until close to 1 in the morning. Needless to say my little legs were hurtin! But the coolest thing kept happening all day...people, like straight, fratastic(sp?) guys were coming up to me and saying how much they missed the morning show. They were asking what I was doing now, some even said they listened to me on KISS now. Some asked how Jamie, Toni and Bryan are doing. (I took delight in telling people that Bryan and Jamie Lynn are happily living together in the Atl...not happily MARRIED, but I'm sure that will happen soon!) But it made my sprit feel SOO good (my ego too! ;) ) to see that people STILL, after a whole freaking year, remembered what we did in the mornings. Our stupid banter on-air about a toilet having red lips, Toni going out on the streets, Bryan making everyone feel stupid on air, Jamie's endless rants, Producer Andrew being clueless about American traditions, Gene "Gameshow Man" Grey's LOUD laughter from the newsroom, Caroline saying one word, King Phillip with his awkward take on things...we truly made people's mornings...we made people laugh...we made people smile when their morning was crap.

That's awesome.

I felt like I was at home.

While I was on stage making fun of people in the crowd, and making jokes about living in the boro, being a Georgia Southern student...it was cool to feel everyone on that same vibe. I really going to miss that little town. I was only there for two years, but I grew so much. It's so funny how you never really know how good you have it until it's over.

Thank you Statesboro.

Wow. I can’t believe where my mind has been for the past few months…it’s like I’ve had a cloud over my eyes and some other version of Miguel was walking, talking and pretending to be me. Those days are over – thanks to a little thing called The Secret.

Before I knew what The Secret was, I was practicing it. My entire life I have always lived by the mantra, “What goes around, comes around.” And that’s how my life has played out. I have always tried to have a positive disposition on life and not let the little things get me down. Well once college was over and I entered into the real world, I was thrown for a loop. Real life is not like college. College is its own little universe - the rules are different there. It’s taken me almost a year to get into the groove of life outside of college. I think I have made it through the dark clouds though. I’ve been applying The Secret to my life…things have changed, drastically.

I remember sitting in my car a few days after the New Year and asking God why every time I turned around, something was going wrong. NOTHING was going my way. At one point I seriously considered quitting my job, packing up my stuff and moving back to Atlanta with no job. But I’m proud to say that I am back. The recklessly optimistic Miguel is back. The smile is back. The energy is back…and most importantly, the AMBITION is back.

It’s good to be back.

There’s a quote I’ve lived by for a long time that a dear friend told me in high school.
"Don't ever listen to those who tell you it can't be done. Pity them for their lack of vision;
be more successful than anyone thought you could be. Then, look back on those who
said it was impossible and remember: always be Recklessly Optimistic."

Everyone does it. You spend HOURS doing it. You'll never tell anyone...

I'll hold my hand up first. I spend a few minutes, er, hours sometimes looking through people's facebookand myspace photo albums. I'm not sure what makes me want to do it, but I can spend a good hour just clicking through photos checking out the life of someone I haven't talked to in almost five years. And of course when I browse through these photos, I'm constantly comparing their life photos to mine. A series of questions and comments run through my mind as I click away through these digital images...

'Do I look like I'm having as much fun as him?'

'Gosh, they must have gotten a really good job after college!'

'Wow, have I aged as well as they have?'

'Her boobs can't be that big! Looks like she had some work done!"

"He's gay?!?! Why didn't he talk to me in middle school?!"

"He chose THAT as a career?"

Have you ever gone through your photos and wondered what someone from your past would think of your current life if they just perused through all the photos? I think that sometimes. What does your life look like? Mine looks like I have lot's of white friends, as my mother has pointed out on many occasions...

Instead of posting ANOTHER word about why I hate being single and how I'm so sad, a long time friend wrote this about me today:

Me: But I'm always the new guy who will make an awesome friend
Him: That is because unfortunatley, you are an awesome friend. ur a nice guy, you've been through a lot and thats made u a good person, because whatever crap you've taken, you wouldn't inflict it on others, and since you come off as this well of niceness, everyone looks at you like the safety, the friend, confidant etc. You just gotta find someone whose looking for a nice guy. Whereas the gay population in ur age range are basically human pogo sticks.
Me: HAHA...quote of the day..."human pogo sticks."
Him: lets face it, gay people are straight guys without the responsibility or inconvinience of pregnancies, they are NOT really dating material

Thank you.

Have a safe and productive Single's Awareness Day!

I wish I could say that life was as easy on the other side of the fence of school. I was I could say I had a seamless transition from college to the working world. I wish I could say my optimism for the world and it's people remained intact. I wish I could say that I love what I do and the life that I have. I wish I could say I loved myself and all that I can do.

I can't say a damned thing.

Right now I feel as if I am in the fight of my life and I have no clue what I'm fighting or how to win.

Life sucks right now - just plain and simple sucks.

I make no money,
I can't pay for anything.
I work long hours.
I work two jobs.
None of my dear friends live close to me.
The friends that are here are occupied with other things.
After all these fucking years I'm still single.
I have no money.
I have creditors calling my phone three times a day.
I have no clue how I will get out of credit card debt.
I have no clue how I will pay for my student loans.
I want a roommate but I don't want to move in with someone I don't know.
I want to eat a nasty greasy hamburger but I can't afford it.
I want several alcoholic drinks in my system to numb the frustration.
I got a notice saying I hadn't payed my rent when I know I did.
I don't have any gas in my car and I have no clue how I'm going to make it through the week.
I want someone to solve my problems because I'm tired.
I have a vacation I'm going on next week but I don't want to go so I work more and make extra money to pay for shit.

There ya go. There's the exhaustive list of what's swirling through my mind 24/7.

I don't know how I'm going to solve these problems...I keep telling myself there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I know there is, but it's so hard to see when there are boulders blocking the end of the tunnel.

A teacher once told me in high school that the pendulum always swings back to whatever side it's on and I'm guessing this is the shitty side. I can't wait until it actually starts to get good again.

I'm so over it.

When people ask me, "You're a good guy, why are you single?" I can't answer the question. If I knew I would be able to work on it and get someone worth while. I know I should leave the whole thing alone, but I can't help it. I don't meet many guys while I'm out.

So I'm looking through one of the sites, seeing whose one and I run across a guys profile who is cute. I start reading through his profile and get to this part at the end:

"If your a black guy or over the age of 30 do not message me. I'm not a racist cause my bestfriend is black but never have i nore will i ever do anything with a blk guy or someone over 30. If you message me i will delete it."

REALLY? Are you serious? So you are saying to me that out of all the black men in the world, you would never date ONE because of his skin color - oooh wait. You have a black best friend so it makes alright...please correct me if I'm wrong, but that logic does not make any sense to me. But sadly, that's the logic of a lot of guys here.

After taking African-American history classes in college, I can only look at comments like that and shake my head. The seeds of history are still there underneath.

In other news, I'm working at one of the local TV stations as a Production Assistant. It's been fun so far. I'm reminded of how much of a non-tech person I am. But I'm trying my best to do an amazing job.

Eh. Who to vote for? Usually I'm pretty into the political scene and ready to go to bat for who ever I believe in. But like a lot of people, I have NO clue who I'm going to vote for. For a time I was considering both Republicans and Democrats, but after a little surface research I've scratched out most of the Republican candidates. There are some issues I'm just not willing to bend on...the gay issue of course being one of them. But I want to dig a little deeper and see what they are talking about. There are so many issues to consider. Now that I'm in the working world I see how important things like the Fair Tax, Heath Insurance and Social Security are. Ugh. So much stuff to wrap your head around.

Okay, enough of this. Time for bed.

So here's the deal. I'm drowning. I've been in control for so long but I'm not. I feel like in my life right now I can't control anything. If I go right this will happen or if I go left this happen. I can't just make a move and go with it. I NEVER in a million years thought I would be one of those people who would look back to the past and want to go back. I want to. Things were tough, but not like this. So much is depending on if I fail or prevail. I would love nothing more than just to sit on my couch for a week, watch movies, drink wine and order out. I can't even afford to even order out or rent a movie. This is not what I thought life after college would be like. I didn't sign up for THIS. It was supposed to be easier. Things were supposed to fall into place. Life was supposed to be one fluid motion and work together. It's not doing that. It's fracturing and showing signs of stress on it. I don't like it. A near and dear friend said life after college is like starting high school over. I'm in my Freshman year of high school..................WHAT?!!? NOO!! So much happened between my freshman and senior year of high school that I couldn't imagine going through so much angst and pain again. I don't want to go back to that place, but it's life, everyone has to....right?

Should I even touch on the subject of love or dating someone? I feel like I have beaten that horse to DEATH. PETA is after me because I've beaten the shit out of that horse. But really, as I get older, the guys suck even more. Take for instance this one guy I was talking to. Granted I met him on the internet...I'm in the DEEP SOUTH for goodness sakes, I have to meet them SOMEWHERE!...but any who...we started talking for a week or so. We decide to meet at the end of the month. Cool. But we are talking tonight and I'm feeling a bit randy...that never happens anymore...so I decide to ask a few personal questions. How many people have you been with. He answers...the number is a bit higher than I like, but okay, he seems like a cool guy. I then say I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship which is why it's been so long for me. All of a sudden he tells me he's talking to this guy somewhere else and he probably wouldn't come to visit me because we wouldn't be having sex. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Well there's another one that bites the dust.

I'm over it.

I'm turning straight.

Being an "adult" is not easy. Growing up and dealing with things is hard.

In middle school, high school and especially college all I focused on was getting out into the real world showing it what I had. I was going to grab life by the balls and show it that I was indeed the Daddy!

But I feel as if I stalled a bit. I'm not going as fast as I thought I would. I want to take over the world NOW and sit back and relax. Life does not work like that. You have to keep moving through the obstacles put in front of you.

Right now I'm at a crossroad.

In high school I had a conversation with my friend Brian. He asked me if I really wanted to go into radio - of course I did! It's what I had dreamed of for most of my life! But every time a teacher talked about careers that would be in demand once we entered the working force, broadcasting was never mentioned. Broadcasting was a field that would continue to shrink and consolidate as the years went on. Great. But to me, that didn't matter. I wanted to be on the radio and make people laugh. Now I'm at a point where I'm doing what I love, but I'm making no money. I've know all along I wouldn't make any money starting out. You don't get into this field if you want to drive a Range Rover...this is a toyota corolla field! So when I hear of friends who are moving on to nice, cushy jobs in big cities with expense accounts and company cars, I look at my microphone and cheap headphones and wonder if it's worth it...

"thanks so much 4 the add...
u probaly get this a lot...but..i love u on da radio! :)
thats what i want to be...a radio personality!...haha..:)"

That's why I do what I do. That's why I get late notices to bills that are due. That's why I will have bad credit for years to come... Knowing that I made someone laugh because I made fun myself and Britney is worth it. My stomach aches a little because I can't afford a nice turkey sandwhich from Larry's, but I made someone's day.

So I will continue down this road of audio bliss. I will continue to make a fool of myself just to get someone to smile in their car. Do radio personalities get into heaven? I hope so...

Comfortable silences. Have you ever thought why you have it with some people and with others you will do anything to make sure there’s not an ounce of silence?

What makes you look into someone’s eyes and feel that nothing has to be said because everything that’s needed to be said has been through the eyes? It’s a comforting feeling to not have to always search for words and just talk.

What about a connection between two people. What causes one person to be drawn to another? Better yet, what causes someone to be drawn to someone and not have it returned?

Questions to ponder tonight as I go out on the town for a bit. I’m going to be tired tomorrow, but sometimes a little fun is needed in the midst of thought and change.

Ya, know?

Random thoughts for now...will explain later...

If you are gay and you wear your hat backwards, that does not make you straight acting, a top, a jock, or masculine. Okay?

If you are in Wal-Mart...God forbid you have to go there...and you go through the self check out lane: DON'T GO WITH A SHOPPING CART FULL OF STUFF! IF YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR BAGS ON THE GROUND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ROOM IN YOUR SHOPPING CART, I THINK THERE MAY BE A PROBLEM! Okay?

Will explain later.

And the endless search for THAT someone continues. I would love to have a sting a posts that don't involve the search for love. But of course, something always happens that brings it up. Or someone brings it up. I pose this question...how do you know someone will fit you?

I know a couple who seem as if they fit in every way possible. The guys I meet who upon a first meeting it seems as if they would be a great match, never perfect, but I soon discover they have this huge flaw that can't be overlooked. And I'm sure when it comes to some guy with interest in me it's the same. I'm no perfect being as I would like to think. But how do you get over some glaring imperfection in someone you are interested in? There was once a day that it would take me weeks to or even months to finally open my eyes to something about the guy I didn't like. But after a certain someone a few years ago when I first started Georgia Southern my bullshit sensors have been put up and I'm always on alert for the next guy whose going to crap on me. Hmm...not really sure where this train of thought is going...

Ugh. I hate writing about this stuff but it's been in my mind for a few days. I have more I want to say but not exactly sure how I want to say it...do you ever have emotions rolling around your body and blood stream but you aren't sure what they mean?

I'm tired.

I'll try more this week.

The holidays are coming...

Quick little fun update.

Life is about the small victories…

In radio we have a industry website that everyone visits to find out about job openings, who moved to a new job, etc. Radio is ALWAYS changing, so it’s a nice way to keep up with what’s going on.

A post about KISSFM was made because Miss Thang Jennifer Beale is our mid-day girl! But at the very end they announced the new Fall Line-Up…and guess whose name popped up for the VERY FIRST TIME on allaccess.com….ME!!!!

“CLEAR CHANNEL Top 40 WAEV (97-3 KISSFM)/SAVANNAH announces their new fall lineup. "Since DREW CAREY got the 'Price is Right' gig, he pulled out of the race to be KISS-FM's new midday jock," said PD RUSS, who subsequently named JENNIFER BEALE to that position.

BEALE is also the entertainment reporter for the local ABC/FOX affiliate. The KISS lineup now includes KIDD KRADDICK IN THE MORNING (6-11a), BEALE (11a-3p), RUSS (3-7p) T*LOVELY (7-mid) and SPANISH MICHAEL (mid-6a).” <===YAY!

Like I said, it’s a small blurb, but life is about the small victories in life!

Seizing the day. Exactly what does that mean? I've people tell me many times that I am too rigid with life and I don't let go. I don't stray out of the lines for a little fun or to live a little. But what does that mean? Skipping a day at work?

I think the last year of my life was spent discovering another side of my self. Letting go and just learning to have a little fun, but I still have a ways to go. But it hit me tonight while driving through Statesboro and watching people on their balconies talking or when I went into my friends house and him and his boyfriend were sitting there watching tv. His younger brother just started college and walked in with a grin on his face and the world no where near his shoulders. He was just enjoying life. I can't remember a time when I had fun and wasn't worrying about an unpaid bill, my family, my health or any other mundane problem.

So what conclusion am I trying to reach? I want to live. I want to say what is unsaid. I want to look back at every opportunity I was given and know that I didn't hold back.

I think most of all, I want to love. I want the chance to open my heart and let someone completely fill it. I want to know what it's like to completely trust someone. I want to know what it's like to fully open your mind to some one and let them look around and see what's ticking in my brain. I want to know what it's like to have someone surprise me with a random visit. I want to know what it's like to be spoiled and to spoil someone. I just want to know...

Once again, I have no clue what's really going on up there. I just see a bunch of key words in my head and go with it. Not sure if it makes any sense.

I'm out.

Ah, the end of the summer...well "school" summer. People are going back to school. Moving into new apartments, buying new textbooks, figuring out new schedules, making new friends. It all sounds so fresh and new...life on the post college is a bit different. Things are the same as they were back in June. I am moving into a new apartment because my roommate got a new job and is moving on to an awesome new path in his life. My new path has been interesting so far.

The rules have changed. The players in the game always seem to one up you and know more than you. Moving up the ladder isn't as given as use to be. Instead of having two or three years to get out into the real world and working towards that goal of graduation now you work towards paying bills and staying afloat with all that life throws at you. It's a tough game out here and there are no life lines sometimes. No safety nets.

One of my many mental projects is to do better with friendships. Now that I'm "starting" over again, making friends and getting myself out there is harder than before. In school, join a club or the radio station and BAM, there are your friends and then you meet people doing other random things. Now what? lol But I don't want to lose the ones I have like I have done in the past. I'm very bad about keeping in touch with people.

Relationships. That part of my life has come to a screeching halt. All for the better. It's nice to watch everyone else fall in love and then fall out. I hate to seem them go through it, but I would rather it not be me. Harsh I know, but I've had my fair share of troubles and I want to hold off on those for a while.

It's funny to think four years ago around this time I looked at the world with such excitement and energy. I was going to college and nothing was going to stop me from doing whatever I wanted to do. Four years later, walking out of college with that paper I so desperately wanted, I have that same feeling of excitement and energy, but with extra filters I see the world for what it is...kind of. I still believe in the goodness of people and I hope that stays the same as time goes on.

Well, I have no clue what I just wrote about. But I wrote. I wanted to get out thoughts on the paper that have been swirling around the head.

Good day!

Life is so busy. We go, we go, we go and we never stop to just sit and think about what’s going on in life.

I was at work today and decided to snoop around facebook for a bit to break the monotony of the day. I came across a group dedicated to a middle and high school friend who took his own life a month ago. When I first heard the news, it was shocking, but of course in life you get news of something one day and then the next moment something else pops up you have to deal with. I never got time to just sit and reflect on what happened. When I came across this group on facebook, my friend’s father posted a beautiful poem on the facebook group. Reading through that poem opened my eyes. His mother, his father, his grandmother, his grandfather, his uncle, his aunt, his cousins…they were all affected by this devastating lost. They can’t just move it to the back of their minds and keep working - that is a life-altering event. Those family members will continue to rack their brains and think of what they could have done to help Blake. I just pray that their family makes it through the tough times.

Well, with that said, everything else just seems mundane, but here’s a little update. I went to Spring Break in Daytona, graduated from college in May, moved to Savannah in June and am now working at Clear Channel Radio. I’m on air overnights during the week and weekends on KISSFM. During the day, I do a lot of behind the scenes work on the programming side for the radio stations in our cluster. Right now, life is at another starting point. It’s a little slow and not what I expected, but that’s life. I’m getting adjusting to the working world and getting use to working from 10am until 7pm everyday.
That’s it for now.

Since I have been in college, religion has been something I’ve put in the back of my mind. While in high school I was super involved in church – organized total youth day, served as the Communications Director my church, was a youth deacon for years…everyone thought I would be a preacher. Then I went to college, in South Georgia. Seeing the “Christians” in Douglas and how they treated any one who was different, especially gays really turned me off to religion. Recently I’ve had this yearning to be back in the midst of church. The feeling you get when listening to a choir sing, the powerful, uplifting, hopeful feeling you can get when you hear an awesome sermon. I miss those days; I just want to find a place that’s accepting of all. No matter who you are or what you are. That’s what Jesus would want. Lately I’ve been really thankful and counting my blessings from God. God has blessed me with so much in life, success in my career, friends, and stability in my life. I just felt like I needed to acknowledge that in public. Well, as public as a blog can be.

Some things in life that are coming up and happening:
-Job search 2007. School is OVER for me in a couple of months and it’s time to be thrown into the real world. I hoping and praying that all the sacrificing and work I’ve done for the past 12 years will pay off now.
-My current group of friends has to be the most dramatic I have ever encountered. I’ve met lots of peoples and have had many different groups of friends, but I have never met one like this. But I love each and every one of them to death. They provide excitement to my day. I love getting a phone call that starts, “Guess what I heard?” or “You will NOT believe what I just found out!”
-March 8th is a date I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. Not only is it the last day of The Morning Buzz, it will be the end of my stint on 91.9 The Buzz as an on-air personality. I’ll be on for the rest of the semester filling in for dj’s or relay for life, but March 8th will be the last day I’ll crack open a mic on the 91.9 frequency to talk about the days events and share my views on some stupid blunder of Paris Hilton or talk about my drunken weekend or the drama with my gays. This was my first experience with being on-air in a capacity like that. I’m ready to leave, but it will be bitter sweet. The last show will feature old Buzz personalities from the Start of Buzz Late Night Live last spring. Jamie Lynn, Average Joe, J*Magic, and Toni will all be back on the last show with me, Bryan, Caroline, and King Philip. I can’t wait!
-I’ve been talking to someone for a little bit. A new boy. lol Gosh, I feel like I’ve written hat sentence so many times in this blog. I don’t want to give to many details, but I’m really excited.
-If you know of ANYONE IN RADIO WHO WANTS a dedicated, knowledgeable, kind of new person, tell them to call me. lol

I’m out.

Good day.

Soooo, I’m thanking the Lord right now. Guess who is KISSFM’s (973kissfm.com) newest weekend jock? ME! I just got the call a few minutes ago. I did a lot filling in for Kramer, the night jock, during the holiday break, and the higher ups said they liked what I did. I’m so excited right now. I’ll be on-air 12-3pm every Sunday!

Here at The Buzz, we did a test morning show to see if there was any potential for chemistry between Bryan, Caroline and myself. I think we’ve got something good brewing. The first break I did, I said the intro with Jamie’s name. It was weird not having her there and hearing her voice. It was like there was something missing. But I was really proud of Bryan; he stepped up to the plate and did a job of going back and forth with me. I think once Caroline gets used to waking up and the on-air jitters, she’ll fit in perfectly. Now I’m excited to see how King Philip is going to do. He starts with us Monday.

Everyone is back in town and I can see blips of drama coming on the horizon. I just hope that we all can at least remain friends through out the semester.

I’m going to get my car next week. I can’t wait! I’m not sure what to name it. Mike tells me its bad luck to name your old and new car the same thing. I really wanted to name my car John Mayer. Sad day, can’t use it I guess.
Here’s what my new car looks like:


So, right now, things are looking pretty good. I still need to pay rent today. Don’t forget!

Good day!

Another year has passed. Another spring, another start of the school year, another diet, another failed attempt at love. The time really does pass when you get older. I can’t believe I’m coming up on the end of my college career. I’m about to be an adult. I remember being 11 and wondering what I would look like when I graduated from college –I never imagined I’d be slightly overweight! HAHA!

Any who, I’m trying to think of a way to sum up the past year. I think the theme for this year has been self discovery. At South Georgia College, I discovered who I was as a person and what type of life I wanted. I’ve got that down. This year, I rediscovered my outer self. I’ve done more socializing this year than anytime of my life. Kori and I had many parties at our apartment, I had a sort of steady group of friends, I started drinking – everything seemed to be centered on the Miguel outside. This year I’ve made huge strides in getting to where I want to be in my career. I guess I’ll just make some categories and go from there.

School: Before I left SGC, they told us that SGC students had the best success rate when we went on to four-year schools. I thought that was a crock of crap. I didn’t think it was true. Well, I was wrong. I’ve never been this successful at school. Since I’ve been at Georgia Southern, I’ve nothing below a B. All A’s and B’s in every class. Even when I took 21 hours last spring, I still came out with all A’s and B’s. Thanks SGC. I’ve discovered that I don’t suck at journalistic writing. I’ve taken several journalism classes now and I’ve gotten an A in each one. I think my fear of my writing abilities is starting to subside.

Family: This has been the first time since I was a child that people in my direct family passed away. I lost my Grandfather and my great Uncle. Both were tough. Losing my Grandfather was hard, but not as I thought it would be. I think I had prepared myself for this to happen, so it wasn’t a shock when it happened. But with each funeral, I couldn’t help but think about my Grandmother. Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry. When she goes, I won’t know how to, I don’t know, exist. She has been the corner stone of my life, with my mother, and without the two of them, I really don’t know what I would do. But I think what does help is the fact that my Grandmother is completely unafraid of death. She’s done what she was sent to this earth to do and she has done well. I just hope she continues to get the chance to do that on earth for a good 20 more years. lol

Friends: I’ve learned a lot about long lasting friendships this year. I’ve also learned to listen a lot this year. I think the biggest step that I’ve taken with friendships this year is dependency. I don’t think anyone should ever be totally dependent on someone being there with you all the time, but this year I’ve learned to have a healthy dose of that. Last year and even before that, I was never dependent on my friends to be there to eat lunch with me every day or go shopping with me. If no one was around to go with me, I was alright going to eat by myself or whatever. This year I learned to lean on friends for normal friend’s thing. I have people I can call up when ever and shoot the breeze with (shoot the breeze, is that right?). It’s nice to know that if I have a crisis at 3:30 in the morning, I can call someone and they will be there to help me out, or I be there for them.

Social Anxiety: This summer, I stared my social anxiety right in the face. When I went on one of my first promotional events during my internship to a club, I freaked out. Every one could tell that I was having one of the worst nights of my life. After that, I started looking at why I have such a hard time dealing with social settings like that and made up my mind that I had to change that. Going with the whole friend’s thing, that has really helped. Going to parties and random parties has really helped me leap out of my shell.

Career: The love of radio is here and here to stay. A friend of mine told me before the semester started that after doing the morning show for a term, I would be over morning radio. Not true. I love it even more now. Doing The Morning Buzz has been a joy like no other. I love it, my co-workers love it, and the listeners love it. It just makes me happy to know that people like the work that we do.

Love: HA. Well, nothing new to report on here. Still single, only slightly bitter. We shall see what the New Year brings.

So, in a nut shell, this has been a good year for me. The good weeks and bad weeks have balanced out to make a steady year. 2007 will see lot’s of changes in my life. In eight months I have no clue where I will be. That scares me to death. Hopefully I won’t be in a box somewhere.

Happy New Year!

Good day!

A therapist once told me, “There is nothing wrong with you. It’s not you, it’s the other guys.”

A mother once told me, “You are such a great guy, any person would be lucky to have you in their life.”

My mother once told me, “I love you more life itself, I know one day you will find a guy who will make you happy.”

A few years and some months later I’m still wondering if these statements are going to come true. I know, I know, another DRUNK post about men. Sorry. Deal with it. It’s on my mind.

I find the small ironies in life funny. I find my supposed love life funny.

SO, I have to so stop drinking and opening up my laptop. One day I’m going to actually write truth.

Hoe.